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We fought a lot towards the end of our friendship. We had had a "thing" and then he told me he was just using me and that he was just very physically attracted to me. He said I am still his best friend and that he feels like he really hasn't liked me for a long time. I was really upset that he said he had just used me because he was lonely... so I told him we couldn't be friends and that we needed to go our separate ways. Friends don't do that to friends and we had been best friends for a while.

He wrote me a letter saying how much I meant to him, he loved me (as a friend) and some love song reminded him of me and how much he wants to be with someone like me. Then, two months later, he took back the song and said it's what he thinks I think of him... I was pretty mad so I called him out on lying to me. I said he must really be in denial about liking me... the way he talks to me, looks at me, I can tell he still has some kind of feeling for me. Not sure what it is.

Anywho, so I called him out on lying and we haven't spoken since then. He said he needs time to think. I've so enjoyed not having to talk to him... is that awful? We had so many great times and I am going to miss them, but I don't know if they are ever coming back. I just keep finding more lies. He changes the story about what happened b/t us all the time. It makes it seem like he liked me all along and he's still trying to convince himself that he doesn't and never did.

Case in point, should I feel guilty for enjoying the peace of not having him in my life, begging for me, then lying to me, being fake and then acting like he likes me/then he doesn't like me? Maybe we can be friends in the future, but I don't know about right now. I could still see us dating, that's the scary part. Sometimes I wonder why he wants to be friends so badly.

Well, there is this guy that I've had a crush on since I was in 3rd grade (we are seniors in High school now), so maybe about...8/9 years? Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic TT^TT. But I'm a pretty shy person. I was bullied when I was younger, so I tend to stutter a lot and have low self-esteem. Public speaking is a difficult thing for me, and speaking to someone privately is no different.

Here's the thing, he's pretty popular at our school and I feel a little envious of the other girls who can speak with him without hesitation. I still stutter around him even though he has been my [male] best friend since pre-k.

My [female] best friend, 'Sara', has told me that he is currently single and I'm his ideal type. However, I've hung out with him and his other friends when he was dating before. None of the girls are like me in any way, they are completely opposite. 'Sara' insists that she notices the way he glances at me, and tells me he definitely has feelings for me. Her evidence:

1) We were all hanging out before, and I lost a bet and had to do a dare. I had to eat something really spicy. I can't stand spicy food, so he volunteered to do the dare for me. The condition was that I had to baby sit with him over the weekend.

2) My brother decided to be an a*hole and leave me stranded without a ride at the mall, just so he could go to a party. I don't like taking public transit because I feel unsafe by myself. I had called Sara and asked her if she could pick me up. I am the only person on our group of friends who can't drive yet. When I didn't see her car, I called she told me that he [my crush] left the party early to give me a ride. He probably the figured out when he saw my brother at the party.

3) He wrote me a song for my birthday. Sara told me that he never wrote a song for a specific person, ever. Not even for his previous girlfriends.

There is a lot more to her list...but the character remaining is running out.

I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid it will ruin our friendship, or make it down right awkward for us both. He also might have done those things to be a good friend. I really want to tell him, but...I need help.