Search Results: marriage and feelings

So here is my dilemma, I am talking to one girl I know since the corona lockdown. We had a really good tuning , conversations. Due to corona, we were in different cities but we enjoyed phone or video sex too. Fast forward to this month, we happened to be at same place, so we really enjoyed with each other and I really felt good vibes. until this point we were just friends who were being sexual as per our convenience (no string attached kinda) . But this time, we both felt different maybe because of conversation thing. In my past, I had few casual relationships and one during lockdown as well. Anyway, the thing is she has cheated (makeout with two guys , no sex) on her ex boyfriend in the past when her relationship was going through a tough patch and it was about to end. But, she ended them in some time as well. As per her, she also does not feel any remorse for whatever she did. She justifies them citing lack of emotional availability or bla bla. In her past relationship when things got better, she had the guts to ask her ex for marriage on one or two occasions, without feeling anything for what she did behind his back. Anyway, fast forward to present, I like her really but in dilemma to ask her out for serious things. I don't want that cheating to happen to me. Also, she kinda gets upset with my past casual affairs but never takes the blame for her misdeeds which makes me rethink about her. Sometimes, I wish us to be good friends like earlier, there was lot of steam that way without any judgement

So my marriage is shit, my wife is verbally abusive and I've finally had enough. I'm crazy about this girl at work and I finally got the guys to say something to her. I knew I had slim to zero chances, but she is seriously my dream girl and really needed to try. I opened up and told her everything, all the things I love about her (voice, hair...) and how beautiful she is and how she makes me feel so amazing just by being nice. The only thing is, she doesn't have feelings for me, only as a coworker she said. All this was said over text too. We had a lunch break at the same time so I asked if she wanted to hang out and talk, but she said she had midterms work to do and asked me what i wanted to talk about. I didn't want to text it but was worried I'd never get another chance and probably ended up oversharing. Now I don't know what to do next. I'm worried I shared too much and creeped her out. Or maybe it's the age difference or maybe its she just doesn't find me attractive, I don't know. She's barely acknowledged me the last two days at work. I'm trying to just back off, I don't want to make things any worse or seem even more like a creeper than I might already. But I'm just not ready to throw in the towel yet. I still can't stop thinking about her. She is seriously my dream girl. I've never been so sure of something, I've never felt this way, not even with my wife, who I'm more convinced then ever I married for comfort and because I was scared rather than love. So I guess what I'm wondering is what other girls would think in a situation like this? Would you want space? Or would you want to be wooed? Like I'm ready to go to her house and blast Peter Gabriel from my boombox to show her how much she means to me but I don't want to scare her or make her more uncomfortable or like she's wrong for not liking me. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated!