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Ever since I broke up with my ex, I promised myself to never fall in love again. So I've just had multiple friends with benefits since. Everything was going good until recently I caught feelings for one of my friends with benefits. She's a woman in her 30's!

At first I wasn't really attracted to her. I looked at her as just another slut, who's here to satisfy my male needs. After awhile I got to know her better. She became more open with me, and I started looking at her differently. Aside from the sex I really enjoyed my time with her. She's someone I liked to having around.

The worst thing about this situation is our fun and time is up. She doesn't wanna hookup anymore. I'm sad deep down because I really miss and want her back. My feelings and emotions are still so strong for her. We still text once in awhile but it's just as friends!

I know it's fucked up, but I honestly can't help how I feel about this woman. Deep down I love her and can't get her out of my head. I try not to think of her but I can't help it. Nobody knows how I feel about her. I'm embarrassed to tell anybody because she has a reputation of being the biggest hoe in town.

I look at her Facebook and Instagram everyday. I honestly don't even care about my other friends with benefits. Because even when I'm fucking another I'm still thinking about her. And it pains me to know she's hooked up with other dudes and it's not me.

I know this lady means no good and I can't date her, but my heart is with her for some reason. Theses past few weeks I've been sad thinking about her. I literally think I'm crazy to be so madly in love with a girl like her. I am literally obsessed with her. Should I just check myself into a mental institution?

Its been a year since our break up. I was moving away and didn't want a long distance relationship also didn't want a relationship with a time frame. She was pretty hurt then told me she was willing to try but then opened up and said she wanted to break things with me because i wasn't making enough effort with her and i also stopped her from her life. Which i did. She said she was ready to move on from me. Anyway, we had eachother on snapchat because its the only form of socials she has, i watched her stories after the break up i watched them and started to miss her and regret the breakup. I was so tempted to not watch them but i couldnt help myself she made me laugh in a funny way, she is funny. Anyway 3 months goes on and she must have found out i had hung out with my ex before her and freaked out and took me off snapchat. I was shocked. I didn't do anything with my ex, just hung out at a party. My older ex then tried to get me back and i told her no. It got to a point where now we dont have eachother on facebook. Its been a year and im back in my other exes town, i let her know im back, and she wrote me an email saying that she 'had to take me off snapchat because she still cares about me and always will and didn't want to play games because its childish, she also wished me well and told me that i deserve the best and to be happy.' I fucking miss her so much and know i screwed up. I will now be working at the same place as her every month,

How can i try get her back without looking so desperate? She has no socials that im connected too. Im lost, i want her back but im stuck, what should i do when i see her?