Search Results: stuck on ex

I have dated one girl in my life. For almost 6 years. Obviously we had sex, more than a few times. But she seriously messed me up after a while and then left. She's out of the picture. She got really just, toxic I guess, near the end.

I was raped shortly after we broke up, by several of her friends who were men. I didn't know them, she told me afterwards. That's how I know that. That's the jist of it...

I've had hell of a time moving on from the whole thing, and admittedly I've gotten pretty paranoid because of it all. I was already really insecure before all that, and needless to say that has dropped out the bottom of the bucket recently. So now here I am trying to get back into dating...

If a girl has been with other men-- even just one-- I get really.. nervous, I guess. I have a hard time believing she actually wants to be with me, and the paranoia kicks in. I am trying to get better about this but it feels like every time I think I might actually like someone again they turn out to have an ex, normally multiple, and even if they say they don't love their exes I know they would have told them otherwise. I'm in no position to be picky, but with girls like that I can't trust them...

And I KNOW that sounds ridiculous but if they're a virgin I know they are clean. And they don't know anyone but me like that. So they have no reason to lie to me about stuff like that. And there's plenty or other stuff that I won't get into because of length but I just feel stuck here. And at this point I'm not willing to change it.

So my question is: Does this make me a hypocrite? And if so, or if not, please tell me why in a comment? If you think something else, please say what and why... If you need more info let me know I'd be willing to give some.. thank you.