Search Results: what to talk about on the phone with your boyfriend

Hi, I know this is gonna sound kinda of weird but imagine you were in my shoes and knew him 6 years and thank you guys so much for your help whatever you answer may be. :)

So I've liked my guy best friend for 5 almost 6 years now. (Yeah a long time). A lot of stuff happened between us we stopped talking for awhile because his ex girlfriend didn't like me and then apologized after they broke because he knew what he did was wrong. (This was last year) Me and him were/are friends with benefits have been for 5-6 years. ( I liked him before we were having sex fyi). He had told me repeatedly that he doesn't date/like black girls or find most of attractive ( he's white and I'm black) but yet we still have sex. Me and him have a strong connection and he's aware of it too. We had sex two weeks ago. And last night we were on the phone till 3am talking ( got him sleep deprived so he would talk lol) He told me that he finds me attractive but he wouldn't want to date me because of a "gut" feeling he has. He said that he's not ashamed of me because of my skin color. He said that if we did end up dating he wouldn't want to put a label on it. Basically saying he wouldn't want to ruin our friendship. But I feel like there's more to it. I think he still knows that I still have strong feelings for him. And now he's trying to date another girl who has a boyfriend by the way
I know what I said is not enough insight on to what's going on. But I don't know if I should keep trying and wait for a miracle (even though they don't happen everyday) or give up and possibly end our friendship in the process.
I don't really know why I stayed liking him for so long. I have had a boyfriend through our friendship but I still had feelings for him.

Sorry it's so long but please answer I would deeply appreciate it :)

I have a horrible habit. If I am stressed about my relationship, I have to vent to someone about it. And from experience, it' can backfire 57% of the time. I normally try and call my mom about it, but she isn't always available since she works and still raises two other kids.

When my boyfriend was passed out drunk. I felt angry and shaky. My ex was messaging me on snap chat "just texts" and he was also going through a break up. I was bored, wired, and needed to talk to someone. My mom was probably sleeping, so I called him. It was nice to hear him, and he told me what went wrong. I asked for his input. Honestly the conversation was rated PG-13. I say that because we cuss quite a bit. But there was no phone sex. No "I miss you baby". Nothing.

But I do feel a little guilty, mainly because I did talk to him while my boyfriend was passed out. I want to tell him, but I don't want him to think that I was up to no good. Or that I did it because I wanted to get back at him for getting drunk so early. I did let my ex know that he can come over to our apartment if we are ever bored and want to hang out. Like me and my boyfriend. What do you all think?