WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

Disclaimer: I always say that and I will keep saying it. This myTake is NOT meant to insult or make someone feel bad. It's supposed to make people smile. However, if you feel insulted, I can't help you, but I may be able to make you laugh, a bit.

Summer is upon us (at least where I live) and every gym is totally packed. No matter what time of day you choose to hit the weights, there are many people around you. There are the "normal" people and the, well, somewhat "weird" people. Those "weird" can be sorted into these funny gym types. So let's GO!!!

1. The gossip mommy

Favorite exercise: Every cable machine and cardio equipment. [MILFs excluded lads]If you like hitting the gym early in the morning, you will definitely see this type. They travel in packs of 2 or more. After dropping their kids to school they enter the gym, spread out, occupy every possible machine, especially easy leg machines, and start gossiping their asses off. Their favorite routine is 200 reps of bullshit, using 5 pound resistance, while yelling to the other mommies across the gym, so they can hear each other. Earplugs or extremely loud heaphones are highly recommended.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

2. The 12 year old badass kid

Favorite exercise: 5lb dumbell bicep curls. They tend to pack the gym during the spring and close to the summer. Bad thing is they can't hit the gym in the mornings because of school so they literaly pack the gym during the afternoons and weekends. They come in packs and strictly follow the beginner's routine until they finish college. They tend to swarm one machine at a time but will quickly vanish if a strong guy approaches in order to ask how many sets they have left. They also tend to spy on you while you workout, using sneaky mirror angles. Sometimes they can freak you out...

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

3. The studs

Favorite exercise: Bicep Curls, Crossovers and Ab crunches. You can smell them the moment they set foot inside the gym. They are extremely flammable due to the high quantity of perfume. They use very light weight and between sets, they tend to roam the gym looking themselves in every possible mirroring surface there is. They tend to add random exercises if pretty girls are present in order to be close to them and they love giving advice, only to those girls...

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

4. The imaginary powerlifter

Favorite exercise: Cable machines and Bench Press. They somehow think they are extremely powerful but they avoid free weights as "they are bad for your joints". They tend to use cable machines and load the maximum weight possible. Then perform quarter reps while grunting with increasing volume. If they see someone stronger or more vascular they immediately tag him "STEROIDS". They work out 5 hours a day with 20 minute rest between sets and then hit the pub. Yet they blaim their bodytype for not making any progress...

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

5. The golden statue

Favorite exercise: Anything flashy. Ipad, Iphone 9s, Assics kayano 38, underarmor clothing, gold's gym straps etc etc.... If you add everything up, it's about 2000$. They like playing with their equipment between sets and they need approximately 5 minutes to relocate from one machine to another due the vast amount of high tech gadgets they carry. They mostly have greatly decreased sense of sight (too close to the phone screen) and hearing (too loud headphones) so don't bother talking to them. Radiation suits are highly recommended when working out close to them for apparent reasons.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

6. The mine placer

Favorite exercise: Anything adjacent to many other machines. These people are cool but their main issue ruins it all. They tend to leave EVERYTHING they carry, everywhere possible. Shirts, towels, phones, water bottle, you name it. Everything is scattered around the gym, and people asking "Is this yours?" here and there, trying to find out who left their towel etc on their bench. Not only that, they tend to give you the yuck face if you touch or missplace their stuff. Seriously mate, you're lucky I'm not throwing these off the freaking window.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

7. The treadmill zombie

Favorite exercise: Treadmill. They will set the treadmill speed to 50 feet per hour and walk until the treadmill decides to quit. Somehow they are already on the treadmill even before the gym opens in the morning. If you ask them how much they have left, you will most likely get no answer as they are probably dead...

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

8. The wtf ninja

Favorite exercise: Whatever this is... You can't help it. You must watch. You NEED to watch. You try to use the mirrors and study them carefully. They you ask your buddy "WTH is he doing?" Chances are, they have no clue either. They saw something like that online, or in a Bruce Lee movie, and they decided to implement it to their workout. It's dangerous to workout with heavy weights near them as you may accidentally laugh and the weight will crush you. Don't bother asking them for advice. You will have better results if you ask the 400 pound kid next door. And don't bother giving them advice as well. Better work out your entire body, and everyone else's abs with all this laugh, with one single compound retarded exercise....

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

9. The dinosaur

Favorite exercise: Cardio equipment and light machines. If you work out first thing in the morning, the gym will be packed with those. They enter, leave their fake teeth, hair and binocular-shaped glasses in their locker and let's get this party started! Their age is between 90 and 110 years old and the main reason they work out is to reach 91 and 111 years old. Plus because they have huge amounts of spare time as their grand grand children started their own families, so no need for them to worry. A gas mask is highly recommended as they emit poisonous gases due to extreme amounts of drugs and brocolli they consume on a daily basis. Don't bother talking to them as they lost their hearing back in their 80s.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

10. The BRO squad

Favorite exercise: Bench Press and Bicep Curls. They come in large packs. You can hear them 2 blocks away. They yell at each other, talk on their phone using the loud speaker and push each other for no reason. In most cases, there is an alpha male somewhere in the pack that decides today's muscle group, chest or biceps and everyone else follows the alpha wolf like a mindless sheep. They tend to go crazy when a girl is in the vicinity even though noone has the courage to actually go and talk to her. They like braging about their favorite "Smooth strawberry multi-iso ultra filtered protein powder" and how it's better than everything else on the market. They also tend to make fun or "lesser beings" inside the gym but suddenly shut the fk up when the huge gym dude enters the premises. I wonder why... They also tend to perform a forbidden exercise, curling in the squat rack. Calming pills are the necessary pre workout if your gym is full of those. There is also a female version, called Girly Squad...

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

11. The gigaset guy

Favorite exercise: Pick 10 random machines and forget them for the day. You see a free bench, you get closer, you look left and right, you are about to sit and you hear a voice 50 ft away "I'm using this mate!". You get up, look around, approach the curl machine, sit and "Hey man, I'm using that too!". You get up again, go to the squat rack and remove a curl bar left there aaaaaaand "Hey man sorry. I was curling there!" Seriously WTF! These people occupy 10 different machines for their "ultimate-20-exercise-killer-mass-routine". And somehow they switch to the machine you were about to use! They tend to be jerks if you are the average joe but they also vanish or "act cool and switch to a different machine" if you are bigger than them.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

12. The slutty nun

Favorite exercise: Smith machine squats and stiff-legged deadlifts. Thong underwear, if any. Tights almost about to burst. Buttcrack and pubic hair visible on purpose. Belly-out and boob-out latex sports top. Club make-up, nails on point and hairstyle ready for tonight's wedding. They tend to point their butts out during the entire set, while making "oh I'm cumming" sounds after each rep. After each set, they try to pull their thong out of their sweaty buttcrack and gently relocate theis boobs inside their sports bra, while checking their butt on the mirror. They really like being watched by guys but don't make the mistake and look too much as they will immediately call you "sick" and "pervert". How the fk am I supposed NOT to look lady? Your entire butthole is visible! Masturbation before the gym is a must or you won't be able to work out without the risk of poking someone else's eye out (not with the bar....). If your girlfriend is with you, you are officially single and if your boyfriend is with you, you are also officially single as well, plus sad with severe body insecurity issues. They tend to end their "workout" sooner if a "higher specimen" enters the gym.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

13. The plaguespreader

Favorite exercise: Everything including a bench. Somehow a large % of this type forgets their towels back home. They are sweaty and smelly before the gym, when entering the gym, while in the gym and even after hitting the shower. The worst thing though, is those huge sweat stains on every machine they use that seem to stay there even after you burn the entire gym down. Even if you tell them they shouldn't sweat that much over the machines, they will say it's natural and that they're healthy. Remember to bring your pocket flamethrower to sterilize the machines before use and always remember to close your nose shut when walking past them. Nose plugs are vital in this case.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

14. The stealer

Favorite exercise: Everything YOU are doing. You finish your 2nd set and put the dumbells down, wipe off your sweat and put the towel next to the dumbells and head over for a few drops of water. 20 seconds later you get back and your dumbells are missing! On the other side of the gym you see someone using them so you just wait as you think he just needed them for a quickie but no. He leaves the dumbells there so he can use them again. YOUR dumbells. This type of people are really annoying. They steal dumbells, machines, barbell clips, benches, you name it. If you notify them that you were using that, they claim they just saw it down there and nobody was using it. Go figure. Peeing around everything you are currently using to mark your territory, is highly recommended.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

15. The buffer

Favorite exercise: Spotting and boosting morale. You can hear those people from outside the gym. 90% of their daily routine is walking around the gym in search for people in need, or even not, of spotting and help them while yelling them stuff like "CMON ONE MORE FKING REP! GOOOOOOO! GET MAAAAD" in order to force a couple more reps, even though they're the ones pulling the entire weight up. Similar to the common "Buffer" in mmorpg online games that simply exist in order to make others stronger. Earplugs and recommended here as well, and a lot of patience....

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

16. The bomb

Favorite exercise: Scattering multiple random plates and dumbells. You definitely know those people. They are the ones unracking every possible plate and dumbell, scattering them all across the gym floor, on the benches, even the toilets and just leave it be. If it's a big guy, you're officially screwed as your entire workout will be re-racking 800 pounds of plates in order to use the squat rack, or rolling the 200 pound dumbells away so you can use the bench. These people are just morons and they have no respect for others. Best thing you can do it to unrack plates all over the machine they are using or call a few "stealers" to mess up their pile of dumbells. Try to find the other dumbell now bitch!

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

17. The cuddly fit couple

Favorite exercise: Cuddling. Fitcouples are a trend and it's really cool. It's really fine to see couples having common hobbies and act like love birds everywhere but here we're talking for the high end, slimy fit couples. They enter the gym cuddling each other, they use the treadmill holding hands and
kissing every minute, they hop on each other while using the bench and hug each other during the whole workout. Except their slimy behaviour, they don't do anything else to irritate you. Thank god. Cupid arrow immunity potions are recommended.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

18. The smartphone cyclist

Favorite exercise: Stationary bike. This type comes in all ages. From teens to ancients it's all the same. They enter the gym. Aim at a free stationary bike. Hop on. Set the speed level to minus 32, unholster their 10 inch screen phone and keep a steady 5rpm for the rest of the week. They don't hear or pay attention to anything else except their phone screen. Facebook, youtube, GaG (of course!), tinder and many more are always broadcasting live! The bike itself tries reminding them that they should "Maintain a steady 70-80 RPM" but it simply doesn't work. Apart from the fact that the bike is occupied for the rest of your annual subscription, they present no other danger.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

19. The hulk

Favorite exercise: Everything that includes ALL 45 pound plates the gym has to offer. You know when they are coming. You can feel the earth shaking. The room suddenly becomes darker. And then you feel a huge presence behind you, casting a shadow that turns day into night. You turn around and you see a wall. You walk backwards, and you still see a wall. You move backwards a bit more and you now see that its actually a guy, that has legs for arms and no neck. "It" seems to be asking how many sets you got left. Those guys are huge and sometimes they seem intimidating to people put it's all about attitude. Unfortunately their grunts are enough to make you think you're working out in the colosseum, along with the other gladiators. Most girls just can't seem to work out next to them and just one stare is enough to scare away all the teens. What I really find enjoyable is that people actually ask them for advice like "How many grams of protein per day", "how long have you been working out" or "what exercises do you do for mass". Answers? "All of them", "Since the beginning of time" and "All of them again". Girls be careful here as even getting close to someone like that can cause you to instantly grow a mustache or increase your squat max by 100 pounds. I have no clue why this happens though...... ....... (more dots)...... .......

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

20. The selfie swordsman

Favorite exercises: Everything close to a mirror. 90% of this type are girls (sorry ladies!). Good sportswear, good body (most of the time), playmate attitude, 20gb sd card and selfie stick. Unleash the butt-kraken! Pic here, pic there, hashtags, butt pose etc. But once again, make the mistake of checking her ass you filthy perv! This girl is here to workout, not show-off! Shame on you. Make sure you watch out for the selfie sword. These things can easily poke your eye out, plus you'll spoil the booty pic. Essentials here are knight helmet, shield and generally high armor rating.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym

That's all folks! Hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave your comments (troll ones are welcome of course) and ideas in case I forgot a type. Byes.

WTF? 20 Types of People You See at the Gym
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Most Helpful Guy

  • John_Doesnt

    The girls who go in full make-up with their hair down and say "I'm doing this for myself, not so guys can hit on me".

    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous

    And this is why I opt for jogging and swimming. 😂

    Is this still revelant?

What Girls & Guys Said

1219
  • MarkRet

    I used to work with a guy who always talked about how he worked out at the gym. What he really did was ride a stationary bike for a few minutes, then sit in a hot-tub. He also liked to wander over to where somebody else was working out, and blather continuous advice to them, whether they wanted to hear it or not. For all his 'working out', he had a gut that looked like he was carrying triplets, and he took the elevator from the first floor to the second floor.

    • Oh i know a few people like that as well...

    • Don't you know it's their body, and they can't lose weight due to their body and not because he has horrible dier and training schedule

    • MarkRet

      @Gonetowardthewind - You didn't know this guy. He would do about 5 minutes of work, and then wander off to tell anybody he encountered about how much work he got done (and it was always the easy stuff, too). He spent half his time in the lunchroom eating junk out of the vending machines, and if you happened to be sitting there, God help you. He'd come over and start babbling to you about some dumb railroad somewhere, or some poisonous snake in Australia. His mouth never stopped.

    • Show All
  • Elarra

    This was funny for the most part and true, but 9 was a little mean. A lot of older people aren't at the gym to build muscle or lose weight but to keep their muscles moving and blood flowing and increase stamina. The way you worded it was a unnecessary.

  • ladsin

    Haha I didn't think you were going to get me but I'm pretty much the plague spreader. I sweat like a stuck pig.
    But I always wipe them machines down so it's all gucci.
    Oh, for tech you forgot the assholes that wear the training masks

    • Ahahah this is included in the golden statue type. :)

    • ladsin

      Yup. I saw a guy the other day that was like 300lbs of fat was wearing the beats headphones, the mask, had the wrist wraps, and a cut off tee, not do a single piece of cardio and maxed out his bench at 200, I laughed for quite some time.

  • Barrabus_the_Free

    You forgot "Unsolicited Gym Advice Guy" and "The Cartoon".

    UGA Guy is pretty self explanatory.

    The Cartoon is someone, typically a guy, that looks cartoonish, especially like a live-action version of Johnny Bravo. With or without the pompadour. These guys are the reason for the saying "Friends don't let friends skip leg day".

  • Gray_Wolf

    Lol nice mytake, the people I usually be mad are 10,13,14 and 1 lol. There are especially a lot of gossip girls around, they always keep the other machines busy I was even going to fight over it few times lol. I don't like ''The Bro Squad'' they think like they are something but nah they ain't shit, just bunch of losers. Ah ofcourse the stelears, they make me rush on them and punch until they blackout lol.

  • Liisjak

    Aaaand that's why I put up a gym at home. It's also way cheaper in the long run unless you're a bodybuilder and need every possible machine for every kind of muscle... but then again you're probably in a bro squad at that point.

  • Haha, just started going to a gym I've seen some of these. Especially the bro squad! And the Bomb. I thought this was really funny

  • Tephra

    Omg this is waay too accurate! At my gym we have about (literally) 5 bro squads and watching them get on each others nerves is quite funny. Especially when they are all trying to fight for a bench. I go in the morning and see the gossip mums and dinosaur ladies and gents everywhere but their better than the rest lol

    You also might have forgotten to mention the gym creep :) The guy who only goes to the gym to pick up chicks.. yes we have had one of those guys at the gym. He was fit but he went to the gym to "train" other girls on DB exercises, sweet talks to all the girls

  • LittleLila

    I never tell guys off for perving haha, if anything I take it as a compliment.

  • i_research

    I would fall into the 12 year old if I were to go to a gym

  • Anpu23

    LOL, that's why I built my own gym in my garage. I can get my workout in my way whenever I want. Great mytake.

  • Gonetowardthewind

    At my university gym, there aren't the old people, there are but they actually workout, no one under 17(again college) and no moms (again college) the rest of the stuff is true, especially the bro stuff and the selfie/thot look (again college gym). However, everyone just doesn't care what the other people are doing, so they don't take the machine or weights without asking, but it's nearly impossible to meet new people since they are so focused on their workout, which is good, except when I need a spotter.

  • chrisrockwingstop

    there are also regular fit people who use the gym in a courteous, normal fashion, then leave.

  • jondahljensen

    I do't think it's your business how people use gym time. they spend their money it's their right.

    points like this piss me off, it's a free world.

    • Read the disclaimer sis.

    • Nah, i'm a man. i'm making a general point how shit like this irritates me. but cool, I need to be "silenced" by some Web stranger lol.

  • teaforbooks

    Oh my #18 sounds quite interesting actually. I have heard of treadmill desk where you can walk and work at the same time but this one looks just as convenient

  • starbucksjr69

    This is why I don't go workout at the gym. Too many people. I have some gym equipment at home to play with

  • rjroy3

    You can get some good work in on the vagina machine xD

    • Just remember to avoid eye contact while "working out"...

  • Jemini_Crocket

    I wasn't sure if I should start going to gym regularly before reading this. Now, I'm certain I won't go there ever again lol
    It made me smile though. The "wtf ninja" is the best. :D

  • JoyGirl

    "The cuddly fit couple"

    @Wontstop
    Why can't we be that? 😢

    • JoyGirl

      I am the treadmill zombie... lol 😂

  • Mihikko

    This made me smile. I never seen old people to where I gym though.

  • NatashaBeauty

    I'm definitely the golden statue

  • Razal

    Funny & True !!

  • SwolDishWasher

    Lmao i made it to the list. Im #19

  • moonpie89

    hahah yes. I've seen all of these types at the gym

  • cupidkisses

    Enjoyable!

  • Lumberman53

    Lol so true

  • Anonymous

    No such thing as the iPhone 9s…

  • Anonymous

    21. The Annoyed Dude

    ("Why can't these fuckers just shut up and do their own half assed reps?)
    *Sees that big guy doing 100 pushups*
    "I'll get there... soon... another plate".

  • Anonymous

    ... Well. I was thinking about why I never go to a gym. I think this answered it. ... I'm gonna see if I can just buy a machine or something that's like an all-in-one and just set it up at home or something...

    • The Isokinator Green Giant is all I use. You just need to forget everything you think you know about working out before trying it. Most people dismiss it though, I almost did. It has a free 30 day trial. It places your muscles under tension without hurting the joints, and allows measurable progressive overload.

    • Get yourself a power rack. Problem solved.

    • AskNaz

      That or just get creative and do calisthenics for free or really cheap

  • Anonymous

    You forgot the guy who loads up a bunch of weight at the bench press and never lifts it. He just wants people to see him next to heavyweights to make them think he is strong.

    Literally saw a scrawny dude put on 225lb at the bench press. He lied down and looked like he was about to start to do a set then he sits back up and acts like he just finished a set. He did that for like 15 minutes and then just got up and left...

  • Anonymous

    omg these are SO accurate hahahah! I'm a bit of a slutty nun but also cuddly fit couple :)

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