Search Results: no spark at a date

I totally expect this to be one of those really long posts that get no answers, but I think that I just need to vent.

There is this girl that I've been dating for several months (a year and a half actually), and she's not really the type of girl that I usually go for. But I really like her and it's so confusing.She is so wonderful, but there are things that worry me, and I don't know if I'm just being a d*** or what.

The main thing is her lack of confidence, she never thinks that she is good enough for me. She is always downing herself , and I don't know how to help... I've tried to alot! And I don't know how to help her to develop into the kind of person that she wants to be, I;m afraid of giving her more of a complex...

Which brings me to my next point, and the point where I start to feel like a d***... She is super insecure about her looks. I've always been attracted to and dated girls that are extremely femine and know how to do their hair and makeup and have a really rocking sense of style. Well, she doesn't know how to do her hair , she only wares eye makeup and she doesn't apply that well( always caked on and not natural looking), and as far as fashion goes I'm at a total loss... I don't even know how to help her get it... And I don't understand why she doesn't because she is artistically inclined... I try to help her and she says that she tries really hard, but to me it doesn't look like it because her efforts are so minimal, I think that she is afraid to try. The sad thing is I think that with a little work she could easily be an 8 or a 9, possibly a ten. She has an amazing body, she works out all the time and has really sexy girl abs and a nice shape. I just don't know how to help her with out sounding like a d***... And it's getting kind of... embarrassing ( see I said that I'm a d*** =[ )... And also I always see other girls that I'm attracted to that have all of these things going on...

Another thing that worries me is I don't seem to have chemistry with her. I really really like her and enjoy being with her, but there very rarely is that spark. She doesn't flirt in a way that gets me going, and her body language is always so subdued and un-attractive. She is really smart, but she's to afraid to put her opinions out there because she's afraid of ridicule.

I don't want to hurt her more or give her a complex by telling her these things, but I don't want to lead her on if we are not right for each other either. I'm so confused because I'm really attracted to how sweet she is and to a lot of aspects about her... But I don't know if she's right for me... or if I'm right for her... I'm so afriad I'll be more harmful then helpful...

So what do you think, is she just not my type, or am I just being a d***. Also should I try to help her change (she's not happy with ho she is) , or should I tell her she's fine and try to except her how she is... I'm really confused, I'm gonna add a poll too, because people are more likely to vote.