Search Results: anxiety panic attacks

I've had odd episodes more and more frequently and intensley. The other day i had a panic attack. It started when i couldn't find the shirt i was looking for. At first i was frustrated and anxious and shaky. I kept saying "i need this shirt i need this shirt" and really just obsessing over the damn shirt. Obviously i look back at it and i think it was stupid of me. It's just a fricken shirt. I then started crying and panting, and my breaths got short, it was hard to breath. My head throbbed and i felt tense. I eventually got exhausted of freaking out that i layed in my bed crying and digging my nails into my skin. After all the anxiety my stomache started to hurt, as it does normally because i get anxiety on a daily basis (also pretty sure i have social anxiety but as a result of s. a. d. I am too scared to go somewhere and be diagnosed by someone). The following morning my stomache also hurt badly. Pains were off and on.

and then today, just a little bit ago i started to feel hopeless and sad. My dad came in my room and asked me what i wanted for dinner. I got really frustrated all of a sudden. I was anything but happy. At dinner i felt like a blob. I felt sad, empty, alone, and just wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry. I felt annoyed too. Then i got very depressed in my room. I soaked the pillow with tears. I can't pinpoint the cause of why i felt so bad.

Now at school i'm a goofball. I'm known as just a weirdo. I'm usually extremely happy in school. Even though i don't do the best with grades xD nobody i kniw would expect me to have these feelings or anything.

I used to cut myself for completely different reasons. I've recently started again. I feel like a stupid and ungrateful person for not enjoying everything i've got. I do not enjoy this lifestyle.