Search Results: too close or too distant

So, four years ago, when I was 16 I visited this church. Important: I was shy and anxious. That summer, I went on a trip with them to a Christian camp. That's when I met RJ. We got to know eachother and bonded over baptism. Early in the week he decided to be baptized. I eventually also did, choosing him to baptize me.

After that, he changed. He was talking to me closely and holding my hand too friendly during prayer. I was terrified but, developed a crush. Flash forward to Rj's birthday party. I was so shy that while the teens chilled downstairs, I played with my neice and Rj's little brother. Rj didn't talk to me until I finally went outside with the teens. He was talking close to me about boarding. It was hard to talk. Hot, confident guy talking to me. Rj tried and tried but, I was too anxious. He walked away seeming upset. Turns out, he had planned to ask me out that day. Yes, I blew it.

I waited to long to tell Rj my feelings. He found a girlfriend and eventually stopped going to church. Every now and them, he would pop up. He was distant with everyone especially me. Sometimes, he pretended I wasn't there at all. I did message Rj on social media and once too much. Up until a year ago, he never replied. Sometimes now we text a lot or he just won't reply.

Now, we are both grown up, and recently, both single. This past week, my friend and I decided to visit our old church camp. Naturally, Rj popped up. Turns out he was looking for our group. When he saw us, he locked eyes on me, ran to hug my friend and then me. There was a girl very close to him the whole time... Rj barely spoke to me the rest of the night but it felt all to personal. I did catch him staring when I would look. When we left, Rj didn't acknowledge it much. I felt empty. Honestly, the same feelings never left and they have gotten too big to handle.

I always felt that since that party, he treats me different. Why is that? Also, should I try to confess to him or is it too late?

I met my coworker almost a year ago and we really hit it off. We became instant friends in such a short time. As we became closer we let each other know how we felt about one another and we each felt the same. A few weeks after we met and became close I noticed he became kind of distant. Then one day he told me he had to tell me something. What he told me was that he had been in a long term relationship with a girl that he madly wanted out of but wasn't too sure how to do that. Of course I waited, until finally he got out. He then told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship right away and that's ok! Who am I to make him jump back in after he just got out. We stayed friends and hooked up a few times. Lately for the past few months we stopped hooking up since we didn't want to ruin our friendship. The thing is we still kind of act like we're in a relationship. We are super flirty and I tried getting over him. I just can't seem to. He's all I think about and all I want to be with. We don't want each other to be with anyone else. He's always telling me how much he likes me and I'm just here like " well what does this mean? Why are you telling me this if you don't want to be with me" if he wanted to be with me he would be with me but he's not. He's 8 years older (I'm 21) and he's my best friend. I don't want to be in a world without him in it. I don't know what to do anymore or how to take this. It's so hard.