Search Results: anxiety issues

I'm not currently dating anyone. And many things would have to happen for that to change. There are smaller things like:

My Lifestyle - It's not (observably) destined for financial success, and I'm suffering from anxiety and other medical issues that further hinder my potential. Which of course could be overlooked or helped if I found someone in person that loves me no matter my social or financial status.

My Outcast Mindset - Built-up feelings that I'm not deserving of intimate love. Which could also be overlooked if I find someone in person that expresses that love exact for me.

Then there are big ones are:

My Selectivity - I'm picky as hell when it comes to physical attractiveness! But I'm not unrealistic. I'm just severely limited. But later down the line, what if I were to lose physical attraction to my partner? And what if I can't gain it back? All of those have happened through the years with old crushes I've had. And that kind of makes me not want to get into a relationship since physical attraction holds such a strong influence. But then again, I don't know if that will ever change.

My Views on Monogamy - I wouldn't have a problem staying physically committed if I were in a relationship with someone. That's easy. But mentally faithful? That's another story. I really like the idea of having one partner to be committed & intimate with forever. But I feel like that sounds better on paper. I don't see the gain worth the mental trauma that I'd cause someone by naively getting into a relationship with them when I don't have the core stuff for a successful relationship figured out. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I'd just want a really good friend for life. That way I'm able to (safely) be intimate with anyone I'm sexually attracted to with no strings attached and no feelings hurt.

Photo by "Anton Darius" on Unsplash

Yes my anxiety is getting to me.

Last week I said that I'm basically starting my life over. You can read it here.

One of the things I want to do is getting back into Entrepreneurship. I've always wanted to be an investor and maybe run my own Real Estate company.

When I left high school I tried. I studied to trade stocks and when I was 19 I made a Robinhood account and tried to invest, and I blew it. I rushed into it with little knowledge and practice trying to make as much money as I can with what little I had. I made some good trades, but the bad ones killed them. It discouraged me from doing it again and with other issues I've been going through I've lost interest for almost a year and a half.

Well now I think I'm going to just forget what I know and start from square one. I'm going to do actual research and practice my trades, and most importantly I'm going to take my time with this and not rush into it like last time, and I'm going to see my mistakes as something to learn from not a reason to quit.

Embarrassingly I'm still living off my mother's allowance and plasma donations, but there's a medical billing company that's trying to get it's start and my mother is training me to work with them, and I'm basically pre hired, but that job isn't a guaranteed because there's an issues with trying to find a new owner, but I'm still hoping, and there's also other billing companies that might be interested.

Whatever my income is I think I'm going to take all my change and put in a stock broker account while I practice stock trading. I will save it up to $1000 or so before I even think about trading again.

I've had a talk with my mother about my plan and she told me that no matter what I decide to do with my life she 100% supports me no matter how long it takes. I may have made mistakes in my life, but I'm going to turn them around.