Search Results: trust issues with friends

I wouldn’t snoop through my boyfriend’s phone without his permission. But I honestly feel like I can’t believe what he says because he’s lied to me and broke my trust. He’s recently started talking to a girl he slept with while were on a break, she doesn’t even qualify as an ex. He never wanted to date her and he made that clear. Yet she wanted a relationship with him and was very childish when she found out we were getting back together. I don’t mind if they’re just civil friends, but it does make me uncomfortable to think of them being too close and I don’t believe that’s just jealousy and insecurity talking. I believe if he’s in a committed relationship with me, there should be boundaries between them.

I asked him some time ago if they were talking again, and he lied to me. Then a week later I brought it up saying how uncomfortable it made me felt, and that’s when he decided to tell me. I was hurt. I have been cheated on before, and my ex used text to cheat. So I do have trust issues, but at the same time my current boyfriend is displaying the same behavior my ex did when he started cheating on me and I just can’t ignore it.

I asked if he could show me the texts to clarify there’s nothing going on, and he told me it was an invasion of privacy. But he broke my trust and our relationship is on the fence now. So he told me he’d think about it. I’m so confused, if he has nothing to hide then why would he not want to just show me and things could get back on track. But if he chooses to keep hiding things from me then obviously this relationship isn’t going anywhere.

So is it really controlling of me to ask for the texts? If so, what are some other options for us to work through this?

So my current boyfriend and I dated for 8 months, then broke up for 3 months. During that time I got a new boyfriend and he had a rebound. Yet we got back together.

Since then I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him being close to the girl he slept with while we were broken up because she wanted a relationship from him when he did not, she blocked me on all social media and she just shit talks me to anyone who’d listen. While they had their thing, she also demanded he never speak to me and tried to force him to delete pictures of me and throw my stuff away. He kept everything, but still didn’t speak to me until he went back home and was away from her. I’ve never met the girl but I think it’s childish she hates me just because I’m dating my boyfriend. He stopped talking to her and focused on me.

My boyfriend said he liked her as a person and felt like a dick for what happened with her, so he eventually wanted to talk to her again. I told him to give us time because our relationship is still kind of rocky and needs stability and this would cause issues. Two days ago, I brought up again how the idea of them being close friends makes me uncomfortable and disrespected. Then he admits that he’s been talking to her on occasion for two weeks now and sometimes they even FaceTime. I was heartbroken. I asked him maybe 6 days ago if they were talking and he lied. He’s been hiding the truth from me this whole time while I thought things were great. He lied to me so easily.

He says he didn’t want to upset me by telling me they were talking again and was trying to “protect” me. He says he is very sorry and would never do it again. He always avoids conflict and let’s it get out of hand.

Ultimately, I feel betrayed, I don’t trust him like I used to and I feel like she is more important to him than I am. Should I break up with him or not?