Search Results: never kissed before

So my boyfriend has been my best friend for 5 years. In high school we dated for about 2 years. Then we broke up for 2 years. Now we've been dating for almost a year again. Best friends through it all, and friends with benefits for a while.

But I just found out I'm high school he cheated on me for a few months before breaking up with me. And he then basically dated the girl for that summer when we were broken up. They were just talking, hanging out, and kissing on the cheek. This girl became my friend once we broke up and was like the main one I leaned on and who supported me through the break up, me never knowing. I suspected he was with another girl but he would never tell me who. After all this time I just found out this month, and we talked through it and everything. I can forgive them, but I don't know if I can get over it and forget it. It sucks bc this relationship we've had now has been amazing, much better than when we were young and dumb, we've been really happy and healthy. I don't want to give that up for something that happened a long time ago, but I can't trust him now (i already have trust issues from childhood trauma!) And i don't want to be that toxic girlfriend who always goes through his phone, i hate that. But that's how I found out, because I suspected it still and it still hurt not knowing and he let me go through his phone so I found out. But since he lied to me for so long it just makes me sick to think it barely affects him now and he never would've told me. Also back then, they broke it off bc he never stopped loving me and realized he never liked her like that he'd just think of me, and he broke his heart talking to other guys. So I don't know. What would you do in my situation?

When my boyfriend and I started dating I asked him how many girlfriends he had before me. His answer was 1. Later I found out there was someone else. When I asked him how many girls he kissed he told me 5. I feel that its important to know your partners past because that way no one can say shit to you that you dont already know. 2days ago I found out he had so many more gfs and claimed yo not remember any of them which is bullshit. He responded by asking if I remembered every boyfriend or all the people I kissed.. which I do actually. He got more upset for me and said any person would think I am overreacting. But he never ever wants to speak about them or anyone in his past and when he does it is ow clear that he lied/lies about them. DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO FEEL HURT HERE? I dont even believe him about how many women he has slept with either. So how can I trust him when he has been lying to me for 8 years. He says everything before me doesn't matter.. but to me it does. WHAT DOÈS ALL OF THIS SAY ABOUT HIM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME...