Search Results: pregnant love

If so would you say this was my karma.

Long ago, I was in a long-term relationship. I was 19 and he was in his early 20's. One day I started bleeding (after doing lots of exercise and some heavy lifting) and it wasn't my period. Unaware, I had technically gotten pregnant and the fetus died. At the time, I felt happy and said to my boyfriend ''I never wanted that thing anyway''. He couldn't understand my cold, nonchalant attitude. I used to say loudly to friends ''I wish I never become a mother, I'll give it away anyways, I have no maternal feelings at all'. I was into college, parties, and getting drunk on some Saturdays.

Years later at the age of 26, I had two vivid dreams. One of them was about getting an abortion and another about a toddler crying, pleading not leave him, repeating ''You love me, you love me''. I woke up all shaken. It seemed real. Then just last year, I lost my child (a girl) on my 6th month. This time I wanted her. I'm 28 now and it was a struggle to get pregnant (it was a complicated one too), only to lose her. Is this my karma?

I really dislike kids since they are loud and smell like vomit (no offense) and I never want one for myself, but the problem is most of my exes love kids and they want to have a little one for their own. Before us dating I always talk about how taking care of myself is already a chore and children would be the worst idea ever and I don't think anyone is qualified or mentally stable enough to be a parent.
But the problem is they would bring up having kids one way or another, and the problem is they WANT CHILDREN but they always want me to CARRY (yes I'm a lesbian and I only date women) and when I say how I don't think we should reproduce anymore since there are orphans who need loving homes and the fact that the world is already heavily overpopulated plus getting pregnant is the last thing I want to happen to me (I would rather die) then they would suggest adopting, but the problem is I don't like children and I don't want to be a parent. Finding people who don't ever want kids is super hard and the ones who I think share the same idea with me end up being the opposite and they thought they could get me to change my mind. And yes we broke up and I'm glad we did.
How do you usually deal with this type of situation? And if you yourself don't want kids, would you date someone who does? And if you want kids in the future, would you date someone who doesn't ever want kids?