I promise this won't be long.
I also premise I'm not writing this myTake as woe-is-me or pity-me text, I'm writing it as a way to share my experience, and if possible gather those of fellow G@gers.
Like many, many G@gers and many people all over the world, I have mostly grown without parents. They got out of the picture pretty early on and the few moments they were present they either weren't involved or they just flat out ignored me and my sisters. As a result, I'm not very close with them, although I'm slightly more familiar with my mother since she's got the bad habit of popping up in my life from time to time.
Between themselves they always had this weird love-hate relationship that brought them to get together and break up multiple times - with a healthy dose of cheating in-between - to marry, divorce and even consider remarrying. This alone shows how emotionally unstable and immature they were and still are, and it's granted that children don't see many good things from this.
Me and my sisters got costantly moved around in different cities and raised by different relatives, and that naturally shattered any semblance of family cohesion. As a parent, you kinda know you suck when others have to raise your children for you and they barely recognize you when you drop by for Christmas or Easter, or whatever.
- My father
Textbook uncaring narcissist. How would you otherwise call a guy who swoons over a girl almost 20 years his junior, knocks her up 2-3 times, and then goes his merry way not without serving himself to said girl's family funds?
It kinda pisses off that the more I grow into adulthood, the more I resemble him physically speaking. Having a resemblance to such a crap man is one of the things that really make my stomach turn, that's why I alternatively shaved my hair and grew out moustaches and goatees, to muddle up said resemblance.
But I have to recognize that for being such a sh*t man, guy practically got everything he wanted in life and now sits comfortably in a beautiful house on the lake of Garda. He's a big name in his area of work, he's considered handsome for his age, and health speaking he's healthier than me.
Oh, and he barely speaks with me or my sisters, the few times I wanted to visit him I had to call first like I had to set an appointment. Still, 11/10 I guess...?
- My mother
Oooooh boy. You know you got to rethink your life choices when you are pregnant with your third child and you aren't even 21. And you should know you are messing up big time when your idea of living the life and breaking the big occasions in the well society is being the ''company lady'' - her words - of married men who are like 20-30 years older than you. And even when you finally start raking in more than 1000€ per night you still manage to not only squander it all, but also get in debt and have to skip town.
See, the thing that pisses me off the most about her is not that she's such a crap mother, is that she's awfully incompetent. This woman really managed to score it big, and yet up to this day she's got nothing left. She calls me and my sister, or that poor soul of my aunt only when she needs money.
Oh, and not just that. I remember with a certain fondness that Christmas of 2009 when she arrived unannounced 10PM, skunk drunk or coked up and screaming how her children were stolen for her. Or when she would tell me how all men, me included, are pigs while she was getting on the make up and lacy dress to go out with one said pig. Fun times.
But don't I dare date a woman who's not Christian or not white! That'd ashame her, and also Church is very important! I mean, alright that Jesus let the whore in the temple, but at least she didn't act all self-righteous about it.
Alright, maybe I went a bit overboard, but I'm not being resentful at all. I'm just having fun writing this little roast for them that was supposed to be a reflective myTake and something to learn from.
But fear not, a little but good lesson is there.
For all their faults, they taught me a very important thing - everything that a good parent or a stable human being should NOT do. How healthy relationships and marriages are NOT what they had. How a stable and healthy family is what they NEVER tried to make work.
And with all my faults and mistakes, I'm striving to be the exact opposite of what they are. My fiancee is the exact opposite of my mother - despite this weird thing of sharing the same name first name and a vague physical resemblance - and I'm the exact opposite of my father - despite the familiar resemblance.
My eldest sister is happily married with a man she loves with all her heart and that loves her and they are setting up their home. My other sister has her issues but she's slowly fixing up her life.
I hope this little myTake/roast/bad stand up comedy act entertained you, made you laugh and maybe gave you something to think about.
Feel free to comment and share you experience if you went through something similar or worse. I'll be happy to read your answers!
Thank you, I love all of you! Good night!