Search Results: broke his toy

i was going to spend the weekend with my friend steve and his wife taylor. Taylor has never really liked me i dont think.

i go to house and Taylor starts complaning, your covered in oil. why are you covered in oil? Im sorry, steve is my best friend. I dont need to get dressed up for your pleasure. I was toying around under my pickup. She says do you have a change of clothes? who plans on staying for a weekend and dosent bring clothes? again im not here to be mr GQ.

steve gives me clothes. i tossed mine in the corner. im so sorry you have beige walls and i happen to get allittle on your walls. so she starts yelling AGAIN. i threw them in the wash. Well Some how the washer breaks. something about screws and bolts in my pocket that jammed up in the gap in the wash. so sue me.
Saturday i was staying in their sons room. I decided to excercise. I do a set of 200 up downs
because i have bad wrists i do it on their sons bed. well unbeknowst to me the bread couldnt hold a 245lb man and i go slamming through the base board. The wife, who i am at my wits end at this point comes over to yell. im sorry i have bad wrists toots. So at dinner that night i basically gave steve a ultimatium, either its me or your wife. i admit i went to far here. I may of overstepped my bounds.

now im on the couch even though they have another bed. morning there arguing. taylor said i want him out ASAP. it was 6am they were going to pick up their son from college. i go back to sleep and the worst happens, a wet dream, on my friends couch. in my friends underwear. it was not coming out from either. the washer was broken. i panicked. i threw the boxers behind their head board. i sprayed fabreez on the couch but it made it worse. so i took off. in just a white t shirt. jumped in my truck and got the hell out. week later i call but no answer. im convinced the wife talked him into not talking to me. i dont think i was that bad of a house guest. do you think i screwed up? or is his wife to blame?