Search Results: keeping touch with an old friend

So a little over a year ago I had a few dates with a girl that I had known from college. We only went to school for 2 years & shared some mutual friends but were not close. We hit it off immediately. It was the most fluid experience I've ever had with a girl. Problem was that she was moving 1000 miles away in 3 weeks from our first date.We only were able to hangout a handful of times before her move. Each time was great. She moved & she kept in touch with me. I wasn't sure why but I liked this girl so I was OK keeping in touch. We talked a lot weekly via texts some calls and emails. We also sent handwritten letters a few times to one another. But we were not dating, we were essentially pen pals at this point. Eventually I went to visit her a few months after her move. I was taking a risk because none of our feelings for one another were ever discussed. I didn't know what to expect. I got down there & it was great. We clicked again & pretty much acted like a couple for the 4 days I was there. The only time it drew a negative was when I asked her what we were doing. She expressed her disinterest in a long distance relationship. She had been in one before & was cheated on, so I understood her hesitation. Not to mention the common pains with a LDR. It bummed me out but she was honest with me.

Well over the next several months there were a lot of ups & downs. There were two stints where we stopped communicating. It was hard to try to keep things going for both of us. I didn't put my life on hold & neither did she. We both dated other people which obviously conflicted with our relationship.

The last time she was home was for her birthday a few months ago. She asked me to meet up with her for drinks. We went out, met some of her old friends & it was very casual. I didn't know if I should be making moves or what. When I took her home I decided "f*ck it" & went in for a kiss. We kissed for a while & it was great but then she stopped & brought up what we were doing. This resulted in a long talk about whether it was healthy for us to keep doing this to ourselves. I didn't want to let her go but I knew that it wasn't healthy for us to stay in touch due to the feelings I had for her. So 3 months go by with no communication. Then she emails me out of the blue. Just a link to a website she said I should check out. I thought maybe this was an ice breaker. So I replied & in it I asked how she was. This lead to her telling me things weren't going well. I just told her I was sorry & things would turn around for her. That was it. I didn't wan' to indulge her since I had been her crying shoulder before but if I'm not dating her I don't want to be put in that position. She said thanks & asked me how I was.

3 days later she sends a text saying "I'm moving home"

She'll be home in 2 weeks.

I'm terrified. She has been contacting me a lot this past week & we sort of have a date lined up. I am just struggling with how aggressive I should be. I don't want to screw up.

I live in a small city. I've grown up here all my life. I have friends here but they seem to be deminishing. People gradutating, people moving, etc. I have A TON of friends in the big apple, mostly in LI.

I work a good job in upstate NY, but as I get older, I'll be 25 next year, I start to think about my future. My house, a wife? a family? all that kind of stuff. I don't have a girlfriend, I am in touch with my ex, but here is the thing. I don't make enough money to save for a house. I mean I make a lot more than a lot of my friends and I keep telling myself that but I also keep telling myself just because iwmake way more than my friends do, doesn't mean its enough for me.

I make about 17.50/hr, I get benefits, 401k, bonuses all that jazz. Its greay and I love the place I work. I only pya 300/month in rent plus cable/internet blah blah. I know that's INSANELY cheap and good. Well I still find it hard to save at all. I've been stuck at around 1,000 for YEARSSSSS and its very frustratin knowing at 17.50 an hour I should be pulling in about 33k AFTER taxes.

I know in LI the cost of living is WAY higher, prices are different for a lot of things. I saw some jobs down there in my field offering $30-40 an hour which is a HUGE increase, I also understand the cost of living iw as higher than wehre I currently live. I've done some calcuations keeping everything the same as far as my bills go, but upping my rent to about 1,000/month plus utilities. (if I live on my own). Anyways id be saving around 2k more a month AND id be closer to A TON of my friends.

Im just stuck with what to do, I feel like I may be happier down there but I'm scared I won't be. I love the job I haev here but I just need more money, I can't be getting %5 raise a year (being under $1) I mean that's nly $40/week, its not that much...

So do I take a chance and check out jobs down there and be closer to friends, meet new people, start a new life.

Or do I stay here, put it out for a couple more years and see what happens? I've ben at this company for 4 years about and its great, just with the bonuses and everything it doesn't even come close to what I would make at this other job.

Anyone who is from the big apple, specifically LI what can I expect if I move down there? Do people think I should be looking for another job, I mean I know money doesn't buy happiness, but I mean at some point I'm going to need a bigger raise than $40/week.

I know people will say what are youthinking the job market sucks you ahvef a good job, but I don't know I jsut feel I may be happier somewhere lse? its been on my mind for some time now and I know life is about taking chances and risks. I'm just afraid that I may lose everything if I take this chance but then again it could be the best thing I ever did. If I stay ehre I will most likely grow in this company but I don't know when? my boss is young and will probably be here till she retires. Ugh I just need some input/suggestions/opions.

Thanks