How to Be the Girl Nearly Every Guy Wants

[ShootingStar5]

One of the biggest questions you see on this site is: “What do guys look for in girls?”

I’ve always had an easy time attracting and keeping guys, so I’ve decided to use my personal experience to try to help girls with this. And it’s not because I’m a beauty queen either, because I’m certainly not. Obviously no girl can win every guy over, but if you follow this advice you can certainly attract a good number of them.

1. Don't be a b*tch!

This is the most important thing you can do. The truth of the matter is, most girls are b*tches. If you can make sure to not be one, you’re already way ahead of the game. Be laid-back and not moody. Don’t take yourself too seriously and learn to laugh a lot. Don’t expect the guy to pay for absolutely everything. Don’t gossip or talk trash about people around guys, most of them hate that. Don’t put down the guys you’re interested in. Most importantly, smile, be positive, and have fun with guys! It will make them love spending time with you.

2. Show interest, but don’t be clingy

You’re supposed to play hard to get right? Wrong! You shouldn’t “play” anything (this will be expanded upon in point #3). If you don’t show any interest in a guy, he’ll assume that you’re not interested and he’ll move on to someone who is. Makes sense right? But at the same time, you don’t want to be a “stage 5 clinger” either. First of all, it makes you look desperate. Second of all, guys have lives of their own and they don’t want to have it being constantly interrupted. So how do you find the balance?

DO initiate contact sometimes, get to know him better, flirt, make eye contact, smile at him, and laugh at his jokes. DON'T text/call him 24/7 (contact him if you have something to talk about, but don’t text him 40 times a day for no reason), expect to see him every single day.

And if you’re in a relationship, don’t act jealous when he talks to his female friends, try to control him, or keep him from seeing his friends. One of the number one fears guys have about being in a relationship is losing his independence. Respect his space. He'll appreciate you more for it.

3. Be true to yourself and don’t play games

This is another big one and you want to keep it in mind while looking at all the other guidelines. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Don’t pretend to like something if you really don’t. Don’t say you’ve done something if you never have. Why is this so important? First of all, guys appreciate honesty. If they find out that you lied to them early in the relationship in order to snag them it’s going to diminish their trust in you, and you don’t want that! Second of all, if you attract a guy by feeding him false information, when he finds out the truth he may not find you attractive anymore which can only lead to hurt feelings for you. When you attract a guy by being yourself you know that he likes you for who you are, no more, no less. It also helps to build a strong foundation of trust.

One of the fears guys have about being in a relationship is losing his independence. Respect his space. He'll appreciate you more for it.

4. Be open minded

Don’t be afraid to try new things. If you try something and you don’t like it, then just don’t do it again. But at least you can honestly say you have it a shot and guys will respect that about you. Also, don’t give guys the evil eye for liking something you don’t, unless it’s something you’re extremely morally opposed to. But if that’s the case, you probably just shouldn’t date that guy.

5. Be a tomboy, but maintain your femininity

What does this mean? It’s important to strike a balance here. Look like a girl and be in touch with your emotions, but also be able to act like one of the guys. You don’t want to dress like a dude and walk around belching the alphabet. What you do want to do is get into some “guy” things. Maybe it’s video games (the Sims doesn’t count), maybe it’s sports, maybe it’s hunting and fishing, maybe it’s computers, maybe it’s all of those or something else entirely. But try to find at least one thing that interests you and get into it. The more of those things that you can enjoy, the more attractive it makes you. Guys love it when they find a girl whom they actually have things in common with. And don’t forget rule #3!

For instance, these are the things I enjoy: video games, computers, cars, guns, and fishing (not hunting though).

6. Look your best

This doesn’t mean that you have to look like a model, or use so much makeup that you could apply it with a spackle knife (please don’t do that). What this does mean, is keep yourself clean and well groomed. Wear clothes that you’re comfortable in and that accentuate your best features. If you enjoy wearing makeup then great, put it on! Just don’t overdo it and walk out of the house looking like Lady GaGa. Most guys prefer subtlety when it comes to makeup. If you don’t like makeup, then don’t wear it. I don’t wear makeup most of the time myself. And if you want to attract a guy for more than just sex, don’t wear anything too revealing.

7. Show confidence

This does not mean flaunt yourself around like you’re the queen of the world. Be sure of who you are and don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t expect a guy to fix all the problems in your life or make you feel better about yourself. Of course you want a guy who appreciates you and compliments you, but don’t expect it to be his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. You should be able to do that on your own. If you can’t be happy on your own, you’re not ready for a healthy relationship.

8. Have a hobby

This shows men that you have a certain level of independence, which is very attractive to most. It will also give you something to do while you’re not with your guy, which helps keep you from becoming too clingy. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s something you can enjoy on your own.

If you can’t be happy on your own, you’re not ready for a healthy relationship.

9. Show off what makes you unique

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Maybe it’s your hobby. Maybe you have a unique outlook on the universe. Maybe you climbed Mt. Everest. Just know what sets you apart from most other girls or people in general and be proud of it! It makes you more interesting, and it’s those aspects of you that are irreplaceable.

My examples: I’m into nature and herbalism and I like to wear mismatched socks. It may sound ridiculously simple, but you’d be surprised how many guys like the sock thing. Like I said, anything that makes you stand out is great!

10. Know how to cook and/or bake

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” You hear this old adage all the time, and it’s true. I don’t know a single guy who doesn’t like food. Guys love it when girls cook for them. You don’t have to cook a full three course meal for him every night, but if you know your way around a kitchen enough to cook him his favorite treat or meal, it’s very attractive. What can you do if you absolutely cannot or hate to cook? Find out what his favorite processed foods and snacks are and surprise him with them. It’s not quite as magical, but it will still warm his heart.

[CubsterShura]

None of it works if you have poor sociability.

1) I'm not. I absolutely hate gossiping. And I don't involve myself in other people's affairs. Result: I have no friend in school (very few) and I 'live under a rock'.

2) Never done it so far, will talk about it later.

3) I do it purposely to keep guys away. I am not willing to date cause I give more time to studies. 101% effective.

4) I am judged for being open minded lol.

5) Used to be into video games but not anymore because of studies. I'm a huge cricket freak. Ironically my ex hated sports lol. Most of my interests are gender neutral. They are not necessarily any boyish or girlish trait, such as science and literature.

6) I always do. Get a lot of compliments from girls, guys never even notice.

7) I am not really insecure, tbh. Why would I be? Not that I am dumb, not that I look bad. I just have too much of a pessimist attitude towards relationships.

8) Reading is my #1 hobby. My parents don't let me buy many books, so most of the books I read are either borrowed from others or free e-books.

9) I am laughed at for being different from others. I have a terrible bullying history and I still struggle to socialize. Boys in class still laugh at me even if I say something correct.

10) Mom keeps me 100 miles away from the kitchen lol.

[gabbay18]

6. We notice

[zagor]

You're 18, you've got plenty of time, and should be concentrating on studies.

[Anonymous]

Avoid any processed food that has added sugar, food additives, and food preservatives in it. Since that applies to virtually all processed food, this means you cannot buy store-bought processed food. Instead, go for a home-made pizza out of raw ingredients. You make the dough out of whole wheat flour, water, yeast, a pinch of salt, and maybe a bit of oil. You make the tomato sauce out of mashed tomatoes by literally mashing tomatoes in a bowl, draining out the liquid (which you can use later for soups), and spread the solid over the flattened dough. You make the cheese using Indian paneer style techniques, which just require lemon juice and whole milk. You shred the cheese with a grater and sprinkle it on the pizza. Then, you add vegetable and fruit toppings, and if possible, tiny non-processed meat toppings. I wouldn't use larger meat pieces, because it'll be harder to make the meat be thoroughly done in the oven. Cook in the oven. Remember to rise the dough, if you are using real yeast, to make the dough extra fluffy. See? No added sugar is included in the diet? You've just made junk food into healthy food! :D

[Plumy]

Hi, I'm just reading the question and find your recipe, it's nice thanks for sharing it ! 🍕

[MrOracle]

I came here expecting a bunch of BS, and to have to raise red flags every other sentence.

Instead, I want to give the OP a high-five. I could have written this myself (and in fact, I probably have!).

While every guy is different, the vast majority of what is written here will be true of the vast majority of guys. We all have our little quirks, of course, but if you understand and follow these guidelines, you'll have a solid understanding of most men and their wants and needs, and you'll make yourself more desirable to be with and easier to stay with.

[funny_strange_man]

I thought the same way before I red it like it would be red flag central but it isn't

[VaIiant]

@funny_strange_man Same, Lol. I was prepared to flame the writer but instead found myself interested and nodding along,

[Browneye57]

Not bad.
The most crucial item a guy looks for is your level of attraction and desire. Everything else is secondary.

And you don't have to be a 'tomboy', in fact the more a girl is 'like one of the guys' the less she is desirable as a woman. If a guy wanted you to be like his guy friends he wouldn't bother with the girls.

[Browneye57]

Hmmm... well, mho thanks. Surprises me. But then your 'take is full of surprises - a very sharp little cookie here.
How old are you? There's a whole flock of women here that need to follow you. ;)

Oh, and will you marry me? J/K :)
I have a thirty-year marriage with a girl just like this. She never got the 'nag gene'.

[Logorithim]

This is some good advice- well done!

[Mayamoon02]

Only thing I don't agree with here (since it all seems like advice that I know personally counts!) is being a tomboy. I made this mistake in past relationships.

Men don't actually care if you are into guys stuff since they do that with their friends. As long as you show interest in his passions - that's enough.

I am actually a huge football fan (soccer as you americans call it hah) but I don't talk about it. I watch my teams matches as part of my alone time.
Its actually really fun to surprise my boyfriend (whos a professional player himself) and his mates with my knowledge when they ask if I enjoyed the match.
He only learnt a year after being together that I even know how to play Fifa.
I had a PlayStation all my life up until we moved in together.

A grown man doesn't want you to be like his friends. You can find common ground unique to your relationship. Like working out together.
He wants a sexy, feminine woman with her own passions completely different different to his.
Keeps it interesting and gives you both time to be apart in long term relationships that lead to marriage.

Great take though especially for inexperienced girls.

[Mayamoon02]

I am a firm believer in opposites attract and stay attracted in long term relationships.

[SuitAndTie]

Which team do you support?

[madeinChina]

Good insights, but I disagree with #5, I don't think it's sincere or sustainable to pursue an interest just to have a common ground with men. You should do things because you love them, regardless whether society considers them masculine or feminine. It also suggests that more feminine interests are not worth a man's time, which frankly is never a value that I would want my own boyfriend to embody.

It's deathly attractive when a woman can be proud of her interests and win over support and affection for something that a man didn't think he was originally interested in.

I have a degree in computer science, I've worked two years in the games industry, started and sold my own company, and also did competitive martial arts. I used to consider myself a tomboy, but these days I'm just me. I attract men when I paint and cook and make soap the same way I do when I talk business and write code and play sports - Passion is contagious and knows no gender boundaries. A passionate woman is an attractive woman.

[vishna]

I really disagree that " The truth of the matter is, most girls are b*tches." Maybe in your area you're one of the few non bitches, but whatevers in that water, isn't where I am.
I think I attract a fair number of guys, and I'm not a beauty queen either, hello.. profile picture, haha. I think overall this is good advice for someone who doesn't have luck with the guys, but I have a few things I'd like to nitpick at.
I think a girl has to be kinda desperate to only try new hobbies to increase her chances of striking common interest with a guy. Or try to extenuate her uniqueness to make herself stand out with guys-I dunno, I find that really sad. Like, if you're unique, you're unique, you're uniqueness shouldn't be stressed, it should just be.
(and this comes from a goofy, artsy, music person)

I think this advice is good for someone who has bad luck with guys, but especially being confident, putting the best you forward, and being open minded, being true to oneself, showing interest... not being clingy, and not being a bitch (lol, that's good it's rule one)

[DWornock]

The easist and best way to get a guy is to be very good looking. However, most girls didn't inherit that DNA. Therefore, for most girls, you advise is very good.

Especially your advise to don't play hard to get. That may work with the super good looking popular hott guy that might want a little challenge. Of course, if the girl wants more than a one night stand, she can't have him anyway because he is going to fuck her and dump her.

For most guys, playing hard to get is the worst thing a girl can do. Most of have us have been turned down all our lives and we don't have the confidence to keep pursuing a girl that doesn't show a lot of interest. And, the last thing we want is to risk another girl shouting. "I SAID NO; LEAVE ME ALONE" and everyone looking and you wishing their was a hole you could hide in as you try to escape as quick as you can with your tail between your legs.

[Plumy]

I have trouble with #2 and little trouble with #7
✔️ #8 but it doesn't always work
✔️ #10 I really like cooking and he likes it, so bye processed food and anyway I think you can find homemade food in some deli (at least yes here in Italy), so if you really want to surprise him then find something specially yummy !

[calisymphonia]

Regarding #7: " Of course you want a guy who appreciates you and compliments you, but don’t expect it to be his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. "

But let's say you're having a really rough week, when everything just goes wrong and you really have doubts about yourself. I'd hope that my best friend (guy or girl) would be up for cheering me up when he/she has the time. But I shouldn't expect that from him? (If it's all the time, then yes, that'll definitely chase anyone away)

[CrazyXEpic]

I do the sock thing too! Hahaha! This was very helpful! I just have one question! I'm a serious athlete (gymnastics and track) and my problem is that guys feel like I'm too obsessed with sports and have no time for them. How do I fix this without giving up the sports I love. It's not like I can just skip practice whenever I want, and I feel like if a guy really likes me he should be supportive of my dreams to be an Olympian, you know?! Anyways, thanks for your article! SOOO helpful, haha!

[luisnunez]

True. But have you tried saying the opposite to them? That you do have time, it's just that sport is your passion

[NMMan]

"...if you follow this advice, you can certainly attract a good number of them."

*Raises hand*

Seriously though, this was so on point - from the importance of showing interest but not desperation, to being open-minded, true to oneself, and fun-loving...that's exactly the kind of woman that I'd like to meet. Kudos for a great job, totally giving this five stars.

[ShootingStar5]

Thanks for the feedback guys!

@Tigerbaby - being picky isn't necessarily a bad thing. As long as you're not unrealistic with your expectations. I was picky when I was dating recently and I'm glad I was because I wound up with a guy who's so perfect for me!

@LuvBiddy - yeah, unfortunately that's a problem a lot of women have. It's easy to overcome though if you can learn to focus on the other aspects of your life :)

[ShootingStar5]

@Calisymphonia: There's a difference between being supportive and being your backbone. Of course you should expect your guy to be supportive and lift you up when you're feeling down. What I mean by it not being his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself or fix your life is that you should be able to feel good about your life most days without extra assistance from your boyfriend. And you shouldn't rely on him to guide you through everything. You need a certain level of independence.

[ShootingStar5]

Haha that's awesome! Thanks I'm happy to help! ..."I feel like if a guy really likes me he should be supportive of my dreams to be an Olympian, you know?!" You just answered your own question. :) If it's your dream and it's something you're really passionate about then you shouldn't sacrifice that for anyone. And like you said, the right guy for you will understand and be supportive of your dreams!

[Asailum]

nice article. one thing to note though, guys do like it when a girl is a bitch once in a while, not in an actual putting him down kind of way, but a bratty annoying makes-you-want-to-wrestle her way :P

[Anonymous]

Outstanding take! This was just plain spot on and awesome. I wish every miserable hetereo feminist could read this. I especially liked your take on gossiping. I absolutely HATE it when girls gossip because it makes me assume they are gossiping about me.

This section is written stone:

"Don’t expect the guy to pay for absolutely everything. Don’t gossip or talk trash about people around guys, most of them hate that. Don’t put down the guys you’re interested in."

[ShootingStar5]

If you're looking for more solid advice though you could suggest that they get involved with that aspect of your life. They could come with you to your practices and competitions and spend some time with you there.

[wesley55]

Great article! This should be mandatory reading for every woman.

[sdistotallyme]

look at the two feminists who downvoted you. Self loathing yet constantly "self affirming" femtards.

[Tigerbaby994]

This is all great advice! I do all of this stuff but my problem is I'm picky and afraid of being hurt. Both of those have cause me to not date for two years now.

[EmiliaRose2355]

You sound just like me!

[MusicMayhem]

No. 1 should be get off fb and learn how to make conversation. Many girls are sooooo boring never add to the conversation, like it feels they're trying to kill it on purpose with short replies.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Thanks for sharing your Take with GirlsAskGuys Community.

[popsickle]

This is a wonderful article, you did a great job. I would just recommend to any girl to become the kinda girl that you yourself would want, because that's where the confidence comes from.