Search Results: letting go of an ex

So a week or so ago, my partner said some old uni friends were in town and they wanted to go out to dinner. She said her ex might be there and asked if I was okay with that. I said I didn't mind even though I feel weird they have built a friendship. Backstory: they dated before us and when they broke up I had to escort her to pick up her things. Fast forward to now, the dinner was tonight and she asked if he could come over to drink and hang out. I don't want to appear jealous or bothered but I am bothered and feel as if there is more here between them than she has been letting on. Do I say yes and figure it out? Or no and risk an argument for "being jealous"?

Just a FYI forgiveness is not forgetting about what someone did. Also it doesn’t require an apology from the other person. It’s letting go of a grudge and literally telling the person they no longer have power over you.

My biggest forgiveness test was when an ex girlfriend did something completely unexpected and heinously callous to me a few years ago. I’m rarely taken by surprise. But how she treated me after a very serious issue came up absolutely blindsided me. Never in a million years I would of thought she would treated me the way she did

For a while I thought she was going to think it over and reach out & apologize for it. But she didn’t. After agonizing about the issue for over 2 years I finally sent her a very carefully email about what she did, how it hurt me but I forgave her. That didn’t magically fix everything but I felt a sense of personal liberation. I felt stronger and more at peace afterwards.

Now this isn’t just about relationships but society in general. Wanting revenge is very human. No one wants to be a push over. But often there is nothing you can (legally) do to get even. I was virtually powerless to get back my ex about how she treated me given the incident. Not matter how much I fantasized about some method to make her feel the pain I felt I had to painfully accept there was nothing I could do.

But there are other non romantic scenarios as well. White people can’t undo the past sins of slavery and Jim Crowe. Men can’t undo the past oppression women endured. History is history and you can only move forward.

But with all the hate and vitriol going on in the world right now I have yet to see any community leader ask their followers to forgive past transgressions. You can do that and at the same make changes for a better future. If someone really had the guts to propose that idea I think it would catch a lot of people off guard. It would ultimately bring the healing our nation so badly needs right now.