You've been dumped by your one and only love and she was the perfect diamond in the rough you have ever found. It was hard finding her and you ended up losing her, what's worse is that she left you. And what's more painful is that when it comes to breakups, men usually take longer to get over breakups not because they don't show feelings but also, they're the pursuers and they feel that their ego has been crushed because the woman he found decided to dump him.
Well, I admit I ain't a dating coach nor a therapist, but I'll attempt to help you guys out on dealing with breakups. I know that you are crying right now because you miss the times you had with her and now, it will forever be with you, but with time I promise you, you will be all right! :)
So I made these tips for you and I hope that this will help.
1.) Remove all stuff that has anything to do with her
Necklaces, bracelets or a ring, whatever it is that you gave her and returned it to you, dispose of it. The common way of forgetting someone is letting go of the things that makes us remember something. If she forgot her valuables in your place, ask someone to return it to her, do not return it personally or she might just be disappointed at you. Remember, no contact is important during breakups.
2.) Avoid all the things that remind her of you
Similar to 1, if you listen to a song with her or watched your favorite movie with her, stop listening/watching those songs or movies. Or if it's her favorite place to hang out, keep away from there. Rather find a place to create new memories.
3.) Feel every emotion you're feeling
If you want to cry, cry as long as you like. Feel your emotions right now and also, there's nothing wrong with a dude crying, it shows that you have feelings and you're human. So don't be afraid to cry (in a private place or with someone you trust) as you know upon yourself that being vulnerable is a must when it comes to pain. Allow yourself to feel the pain so that it will be released, I don't know if this sounds cliche but crying is a healthy way to express your sadness and it washes away the pain you are feeling. If you need your family or friends, open up to them.
This will calm your thoughts and your mental situation. Meditation will also help you practice mindfulness and it helps deal with stuff that happens in a calm way. Close your eyes for at least 30 mins to 1hr and feel all the emotions you're feeling when you breathe in, then release it when you breathe out.
5.) Practice healthy lifestyle
Never skip meals during the day, get enough sleep, groom properly and exercise regularly. Whatever bad habits you have, try to avoid it and focus on your wellness. It is important that you take care of yourself, especially since you're having a tough time to cope up with your feelings. Do not stress eat as this will only affect your metabolism and your daily diet. I'm not telling you to go vegan, but when you limit the consumption of unhealthy foods, you tend to function more efficiently.
6.) Do not use alcohol nor turn into drugs
Sure, having a shot with your male friends during a heartbreak is okay, however know your limits as getting wasted might lead you to dangerous situations such as you fighting with a random guy or you drunk dialling your ex. I don't have to explain about drugs since you already know what will happen when you use them (I don't care if it's legal or illegal).
7.) Act like a single guy
Since she's out of your life, you are free to do whatever you want. I would suggest taking time with your family, friends and even yourselves. Also use your freedom as a way to plan all the things you wish to do (although I don't recommend that you plan what you wanted to do with her as it will make you remember her again). This is related to loving yourself even though you have a scar caused by your ex.
8.) Try new stuff
Discovering new things in life is what I would recommend as it can help you get distracted from your ex-girlfriend. Explore other activities besides the things that you normally do such as: martial arts, bungee jumping etc. Be a bit spontaneous and never be afraid to change your daily agenda.
9.) Learn something from the relationship
Why did she dump you? What was the main cause of the dysfunction of your relationship? Was it because you were needy? Did you cheat? Were you taking the relationship for granted? Or did she just lose feelings? If one of these are true, accept your mistake, take responsibility for your wrongdoings and make sure that you never do those things again to your next girlfriend so that you don't have to experience the same pain again. And also, don't be hard on yourself, forgive yourself as dwelling on the past won't help you move on. Everybody makes mistakes, what matters the most is how you own up to them.
10.) Don't be afraid to fall in love again
That's life. You will get hurt and you will experience suffering. The only thing that matters is how you deal with the situation. Falling in love is a risk-taking action, and you'll never know if the person is the right one for you if you won't give love another shot. Avoid coming off as guarded because if you do, you're preventing the right woman to come to your life. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there just because a person left you. It's only an opportunity for you to find the right one for you. Life is too short to dwell on the past so it's important to let her go and move on.
So here are 10 tips for you to get over her and if all else fails, don't hesitate to seek for a therapist. You'll be all right, I promise you! Just keep your chin up and one day, you'll find the right woman for you, and I do believe that she's out there waiting for you! :)
Sending you guys hugs! <3