What to do if you've been dumped by your girlfriend!

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Guy crying because he got dumped.
Guy crying because he got dumped.

You've been dumped by your one and only love and she was the perfect diamond in the rough you have ever found. It was hard finding her and you ended up losing her, what's worse is that she left you. And what's more painful is that when it comes to breakups, men usually take longer to get over breakups not because they don't show feelings but also, they're the pursuers and they feel that their ego has been crushed because the woman he found decided to dump him.

Well, I admit I ain't a dating coach nor a therapist, but I'll attempt to help you guys out on dealing with breakups. I know that you are crying right now because you miss the times you had with her and now, it will forever be with you, but with time I promise you, you will be all right! :)

So I made these tips for you and I hope that this will help.

1.) Remove all stuff that has anything to do with her

Necklaces, bracelets or a ring, whatever it is that you gave her and returned it to you, dispose of it. The common way of forgetting someone is letting go of the things that makes us remember something. If she forgot her valuables in your place, ask someone to return it to her, do not return it personally or she might just be disappointed at you. Remember, no contact is important during breakups.

2.) Avoid all the things that remind her of you

Similar to 1, if you listen to a song with her or watched your favorite movie with her, stop listening/watching those songs or movies. Or if it's her favorite place to hang out, keep away from there. Rather find a place to create new memories.

3.) Feel every emotion you're feeling

What to do if youve been dumped by your girlfriend!

If you want to cry, cry as long as you like. Feel your emotions right now and also, there's nothing wrong with a dude crying, it shows that you have feelings and you're human. So don't be afraid to cry (in a private place or with someone you trust) as you know upon yourself that being vulnerable is a must when it comes to pain. Allow yourself to feel the pain so that it will be released, I don't know if this sounds cliche but crying is a healthy way to express your sadness and it washes away the pain you are feeling. If you need your family or friends, open up to them.

4.) Meditate

This will calm your thoughts and your mental situation. Meditation will also help you practice mindfulness and it helps deal with stuff that happens in a calm way. Close your eyes for at least 30 mins to 1hr and feel all the emotions you're feeling when you breathe in, then release it when you breathe out.

5.) Practice healthy lifestyle

Never skip meals during the day, get enough sleep, groom properly and exercise regularly. Whatever bad habits you have, try to avoid it and focus on your wellness. It is important that you take care of yourself, especially since you're having a tough time to cope up with your feelings. Do not stress eat as this will only affect your metabolism and your daily diet. I'm not telling you to go vegan, but when you limit the consumption of unhealthy foods, you tend to function more efficiently.

6.) Do not use alcohol nor turn into drugs

Sure, having a shot with your male friends during a heartbreak is okay, however know your limits as getting wasted might lead you to dangerous situations such as you fighting with a random guy or you drunk dialling your ex. I don't have to explain about drugs since you already know what will happen when you use them (I don't care if it's legal or illegal).

7.) Act like a single guy

Since she's out of your life, you are free to do whatever you want. I would suggest taking time with your family, friends and even yourselves. Also use your freedom as a way to plan all the things you wish to do (although I don't recommend that you plan what you wanted to do with her as it will make you remember her again). This is related to loving yourself even though you have a scar caused by your ex.

8.) Try new stuff

Discovering new things in life is what I would recommend as it can help you get distracted from your ex-girlfriend. Explore other activities besides the things that you normally do such as: martial arts, bungee jumping etc. Be a bit spontaneous and never be afraid to change your daily agenda.

9.) Learn something from the relationship

Why did she dump you? What was the main cause of the dysfunction of your relationship? Was it because you were needy? Did you cheat? Were you taking the relationship for granted? Or did she just lose feelings? If one of these are true, accept your mistake, take responsibility for your wrongdoings and make sure that you never do those things again to your next girlfriend so that you don't have to experience the same pain again. And also, don't be hard on yourself, forgive yourself as dwelling on the past won't help you move on. Everybody makes mistakes, what matters the most is how you own up to them.

10.) Don't be afraid to fall in love again

That's life. You will get hurt and you will experience suffering. The only thing that matters is how you deal with the situation. Falling in love is a risk-taking action, and you'll never know if the person is the right one for you if you won't give love another shot. Avoid coming off as guarded because if you do, you're preventing the right woman to come to your life. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there just because a person left you. It's only an opportunity for you to find the right one for you. Life is too short to dwell on the past so it's important to let her go and move on.

So here are 10 tips for you to get over her and if all else fails, don't hesitate to seek for a therapist. You'll be all right, I promise you! Just keep your chin up and one day, you'll find the right woman for you, and I do believe that she's out there waiting for you! :)

Sending you guys hugs! <3

What to do if you've been dumped by your girlfriend!
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  • RHK36

    Your heart is in the right place, but none of this applies to a good number of men. You really only need 1 step. Move forward. Time is really the only thing that's a sure way of getting over someone.

    LikeDisagree 9 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Precisely! It is time that heals, not the things you do. There is no shortcut to getting over a breakup, you just have to feel it and eventually move on naturally.

    • @TruthBringer don't overlook the things you do. You cannot expect to heal by sitting silently in your room or crying 24×7 hoping time will heal you. When you do the work, you invest your time into it and in the process you realise that there's more to life.

    • @YourFutureEx That is true. Working on yourself is crucial for keeping your mind busy from thinking about the ex all of the time. But it doesn't stop you from feeling it alltogether. Time will need to play it's part while you work on yourself and live your life. I know this best because I made insane amount of progress after my heartbreak physically, mentally, financially, socially and emotionally.

    • Show All
  • just_legit1998

    I appreciate you writing this! I've been through that situation and finally, I got over her. Took me almost 2 years to get over her even though we we're in a relationship for less than a year.

    Like 6 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • OlderAndWiser

    In general, these ten tips are all potentially valuable. They may not all apply to every breakup but they all illiterate two critical points:. 1. Do everything you can to stop obsessing about your ex, and 2. Do everything you can to nurture and take care of yourself.

    Good advice!

    Like 5 People
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  • Keyboardkat

    All of these are wise advice. But I had an ex-girlfriend who kept giving me mixed messages. She had made it clear that she was done, that "when I told you I loved you I thought I meant it," and, "I just don't think it would work," and, "It's not like I met someone else that I love better because that's not true," I mean, there was nothing vague about it!
    But then she sent me a birthday card two weeks after we broke up. And she sent me a graduation card six months later! What on earth was she thinking? If this sounds like a girl who is a bit emotionally unstable, well...
    Girls need to learn one thing: You can't break someone's heart and then think you can be "friends." The guy whose heart you've broken doesn't want you as a "friend." He wants back what he had before with you! If that's not possible, then the best thing you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE to mourn and grieve over losing you, and then heal and move on with his life! Trying to be his "friend" because you feel guilty about hurting him is no kindness! It's just tearing the scab off again and again!

    Like 3 People
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  • cth96190

    After many nights reciting Shakespeare to a Colt 1911 when I was younger, my suggestion is:
    1. Search ‘chemistry of love’ and read what has been published about what people call love. Love is a delusional state that is caused by brain chemistry, which is part of the mate bonding process.
    2. Read about female hypergamy, which has been hard wired into the female brain by millions of years of natural selection. Women are always looking for the bigger better deal. As we say in the Manosphere: she is not yours, it is just your turn.
    Finally, do not be surprised if you become psychologically incapable of romantic love.
    One you understand the biochemical process that is called love, its significance and power over you will evaporate as though it was a morning mist.
    There is nothing as effective as a broken heart to cause a young man to see women for who and what they are.
    After my second girlfriend broke my heart (I was 22) I developed an almost psychopathic detatchment, which caused me to be psychologically incapable of loving a woman.
    If you understand and intellectualise the process, you will not allow it to hurt you again.
    Desire for a woman is instinctive and normal.
    Love is normal, but it is a self-destructive mental illness that females will use against you.

    Like 4 People
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  • Unit1

    "1.) Remove all stuff that has anything to do with her"

    The cool thing here is that all I had to do was removing her from my life. Basically I blocked her everywhere and removed her from my contacts. She's gone, forgotten, never-existed for me now.

    "2.) Avoid all the things that remind her of you"

    I simply retrained my brain that those associations are no longer there. I exposed myself to these and featured it with new "daydreaming" or experiences.

    "3.) Feel every emotion you're feeling"

    True that!

    "4.) Meditate"

    Hm. For me meditation is equal to "spend time doing nothing while bored" from my understanding. Therefore for me it seems like a waste of time.

    "5.) Practice healthy lifestyle"

    Too bad it's easier said than done. I remember not being able to eat an entire week long!

    "6.) Do not use alcohol nor turn into drugs"

    Hah! Guess what? I did exactly that - I swallowed antidepressants. And when my source of antidepressants closed off I resorted to 40% ethanol. Now it's beautiful prostitutes showing me love and do to me what I want them to do to me.
    Sorry not sorry but this one I cannot agree with. The reason I go for these is exactly because it helps - a lot.

    I do miss antidepressants and drugs still. Our enemy the government has restricted those.

    "7.) Act like a single guy"

    In other words - breathe, exist, blink etc...

    "8.) Try new stuff"

    Yes. If only money was there to fund it all. Those activities ain't free and nobody but my boss pays me money for the work I do.

    "9.) Learn something from the relationship"

    Well, since she ghosted me and did not respond I just pieced together all the information I had and draw conclusions out of what I know.
    I have a clear picture. I don't care if it's true or not but I will believe it because it makes sense.

    "10.) Don't be afraid to fall in love again"

    Definitely! However until then I will not believe in love until I see it again.

    ---

    Love? It's a bunch of chemical reactions in the brain compelling animals to breed. It hits hard, then slowly fades.
    But true love? That's the stuff I have yet to see for myself!

    Like 2 People
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  • Hermes-Paris

    In Mexico my mates would take the dumpie out to the bush for a night of tequila and banda. Sometimes the guy would cry a bit and get her out of his system. Then they set him up with a new lass and life moves on. No need to waste time moping and making everyone else miserable. Animo!

    Like 2 People
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  • SomeGuyCalledTom

    When you boil it all down, in the end, you either move on or you remain stuck. Sometimes you remain stuck for months, or even years, and then one day you wake up to realise you are your own jailor, and that sows the seeds of liberating yourself from attachment to your ex. Just because you've been dumped, doesn't mean you have to reject yourself, too.

    Like 3 People
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  • Liam_Hayden

    "You've been dumped by your one and only love"|

    First thing to do is get rid of that mindset There are more than 3.5 billion women on the planet. The "one and only" concept is a delusion and the sooner men and women break free of that nonsense the happier they will be.

    Like 4 People
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  • mikebeckers

    I'm having trouble with 5 as I often do not feel hungry and don't have motivation to get food. I already didn't like eating before the breakup but now even less. And on top of that I already barely had a healthy weight to begin with.
    Also about 6, I already used before the relationship even started so that's nothing new. Just weed and mostly with friends.

    Like 2 People
    Reply
  • nodnol32

    Oh dear got goosebumps just upon reading the question. When my first one dumped me it took me a couple years to get over it. You just need time to get over it as well as keeping your mind occupied and utlising your time keeping yourself busy.

    Like 3 People
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  • AdithyaR

    Excellent take.
    I did everything upto 9.
    As for 10, I'm not afraid but I chose not to fall again as I don't have anymore time, I decided instead use that time to do something worthwhile with my life.

    Like 3 People
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  • MyExBackCoach

    Good thoughts here. My career is based on helping people reunite after a breakup. Though it's not always best or possible, it's great when it can happen.

    To those of you going through this, I understand your pain and wish you the best.

    Like 1 Person
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  • MannMitAntworten

    She cannot be the diamond if she ends thing. She maybe your best ever relationship? Even by a great margin, but still, she left. So she cannot be ‘your’ perfect diamond.

    Add her to your memory box and carry on elsewhere.

    Like 3 People
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  • MissDawn7961

    this break up may have been a blessing in disguise ! for she may not have been the best girl for you to begin with ! in my opinion your best bet is to take a break from dating for awhile ! do things that you need to do and want to do like a hobby or something ! then when you are ready you will know it and you will try dating another type of girl ! thanks

    Reply
  • Juxtapose

    Aww, that's pretty sweet of you actually!

    I learned to not sweat it and just view it as *their* loss for denying my hot ass. I'm a *giving* guy and will smoke/drink you up, give you molten hot fudge brownies and make your crotch feel like the center of the universe!

    Like 2 People
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  • bubbles328

    I always think the major flaw in a break up for guys is not talking to people! Please find someone, anyone to confide in! That’s why women get over things quicker cos they tell everyone!

    Like 2 People
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    • cth96190

      It is not in our nature to talk.
      That is female behaviour, which, in a man, is seen as weak bitchthink.
      For men, once we stop crying alone in the darkness, we resolve to not allow a female to hurt us in that way again.
      Think of a small child learning to not touch a hot stove.

    • bubbles328

      @cth96190 oh I’ve met many a guy that can talk my ear off and still be manly it’s just about the wrong things 😂 my dad never shuts up about things with wheels!
      But guys really do need to start talking about their feelings cos that’s why there’s so many male suicides you guys keep it bottled up

  • chiclapeace

    The way you describe men and the love they found in the woman they were with is just wrong. Like we are the pursuers? Wtf
    Thanks for the tips I guess

    Like 1 Person
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  • worldscolide

    I would erase her from my life.. Pretend like she never existed. If she calls and attempts to talk to me, treat her like she is nothing to me..

    Like 3 People
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  • ArrowheadSW

    LOL The relationship I had that ended after 3 years, was cause for celebration!

    However the hardest breakup I had was when I was 38. I really liked her company and we did a lot of fun things, etc. She ended it without explanation. We only dated for about 2 months and it took a few months to get over it. I found out later that she had reconciled with a former boyfriend while we were dating.

    For me I just had to realize that it probably wasn't personal. Sometimes people just move on. That was before I found out what had happened.

    Like 2 People
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  • sensible27

    Or you can just understand that that were not very nice, like a whole of other people. Isn't that complicated but maybe hard for some.

    Like 2 People
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  • jgokgotit

    3 and 10 are especially big ones. A lot of guys get hung up on those points. This mytake is a very good and useful one.

    Like 1 Person
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