Search Results: middle of fight

in case you dont know by now I am really not a bad person at heart, my criminal record is clean and I have no history of violence. as far as I remember the last time I ever got into a fight with someone was in middle school. but of course my childhood was not perfect. I have Adhd and Asperger's syndrome, I grew up in a really bad neighborhood, I was bullied all my life, I grew up without a dad, I lost him to cancer during my highschool days, my two older brothers were troublemakers, and my mom has Borderline Personality Disorder and many other neurotic disorders. growing up with her was not easy, she use to abuse me physically, mentally, verbally and emotionally on a daily basis and on top of that she use to take off on me all the time thus leaving me with different folks almost on a weekly basis. I even witness her get physically assaulted right in front of me when I was 11 years old and when I was 17 she chased me down with a knife over some damn argument that she decided to take beyond personal.

now I been living on my own for 4 years now and I been feeling a lot more calmer. I practice meditation and many other activities that help recover me both mentally and emotionally. but I am terrified of starting a relationship now, I fear that one day I may lose my temper and and say or do things that may hurt my girl in any way, shape or form. I can't say I will put my hands on her as again I'm not an advocate of violence but in the past when I've lost my temper I use to throws things around, punch walls and many other things. I've also said lots of things that I always end up regretting later on.

so anyways I was just wondering, should I seek anger management before starting a serious relationship? or am I just being too paranoid?