Search Results: emotional abuse

This has been going on since i was 11 I'm more than pass words on how everyday I wake up enraged and depressed. At this point I think I'm so burnt out from being how angry because of how she treats me now im just depressed like hella depresssedd, I'm usually never like this too, even though all the emotional abuse I always try to keep high beliefs and don't let me emotions get to me, I tend to act like a robot I guess, i tend now to react not emotionally but logically and with reason. She has already went past my breaking point in 2013, and in 2014, 15, 16, I've been at my breaking points before and past that with her, and i swear everyday im hanging on by a thread, a thread is an understatement to be honest, i WISH I had a thread to hold on to. I've told other parents, teachers at school, etc etc but it's always this same implied response "if she isn't physically hitting you, you're fine and I can't do anything.

I'm 17 now just turned it about a month and a half ago, I don't believe i can wait another 11 months to move out and on top of that I don't believe i can even move out at 18 i don't have any plans and my mother refuses pretty much to let me grow as and be independent and myself. whenever I try to get a job or improve myself she always tries to drag me back down and hold me back from trying to learn or improve, im a straight A student, the lowest grade i have is a B+ and I don't know what I do, I dont do drugs, i work my ass off everyday in school, and I come home and work my ass off for my mother too, I do everything she says without me even talking back for a second and she still blames me for messes around the house even though my room is spotless and I clean everything, I do everything to make her happy, try to make her food in the morning and wake up early for her just so i can at least make her coffee try to make her smile or appreciate me in anyway but she is the way she is.

I am a 32 year old NON-RELIGIOUS black man man who is single, and who has been ignored like I don't even exist for most of my life. As a child, I was badly abused by my mother and her boyfriends (Physical, mental, and emotional), and bullied by my peers (then go home to the same thing, just 300x worse) and as a result, my self esteem is shot, never to be repaired.

Recently, not even a day ago, I came to the conclusion that my older brother has been making disparaging remarks about me, and as a result, his kids are calling me "homeless", "Stupid", and just outright disrespecting me. My co-workers recently found out I've never had a sexual relationship, by accident, and now all they do is laugh, point, and back away as if i'm some kind of leper. Or call me a loser.

I feel as if my entire family is just tolerating me until i go away, and they can get back to their lives. This is really painful, and hard to talk about.

I have desperately tried dating, but it is of no use, as I've been told that I look "pedophile creepy", or accused of stalking. The crushes i have had were always one sided, and i know of no one who felt the same about me. I have no experience with relationships or women, and at this point, I've become a hermit and have stopped trying at all.

All i do is go to work, and come home to loneliness. Waking up reminds me of the fact that everyone I know has a family or a significant other, and that i'm like a third wheel, stuck on the outside looking in.

For the past two weeks, I have been ruminating whether to commit suicide, as I constantly feel that i am not wanted here, that I have no purpose in this world. (I don't, I was just an accident). I am undergoing therapy, but i feel this isn't solving anything. It changes nothing. So In closing, I will say that I have never experienced love. My hopes and dreams are shattered, I feel out of place, and the only way is to end this suffering. All I understand, is that i'm not wanted in this world.