Search Results: playing the question game

I think often when women are trying to solve a relationship parable, people just tell them useless things like be nice or open or pleasant or supportive encouraging etc. its not helpful. im not waiting for something to happen. i want to fix things, i just dont know -what- to do. I am specifically trying to solve a problem not just let light fairies into my life.

the person im dealing with is currently angry with me and i want to clear things up for him but im not sure what to say because i dont think we trust each other enough to be in a relationship. but if i say i want to be friends he will think i dont like him i more than like him, if it do not bother me to say id say im in love.

we dated a while ago but he used things too quickly-not sex just generally- and i didn't know how to go slow and be around him so i just ended it but never explained. now we hang out & i can tell we both still like each other. and he's asked me out but bc i dont want to make the same mistake im distant with him so he won't think im ready or anything so that i dont disappoint him... but its back firing bc he thinks im playing games.

anyhow we already hang out and that is not helping clear things up. so i dont see how
be present is supposed to be helpful. more like no one reads anything other than the title.

-do tell him i want to be with him but be friends first?

-or tell him how i feel but want to be friends for now?

or something else?

i can't really ask him what he wants bc I've confused him so i dont think he'd be able to answer. i can't really answer but he asked a question and i dont want to ignore it.

we dated 2 years ago. weve been on friendly terms for the past 6 months. he got mad 5 days ago and said he does not want to play games. and asked what i want.

maybe casual dating is an ok idea I don't know. but he does not date around so he might take it as i dont really like him.

should i just ask him why he asked?

I work with this girl who seems to be playing power games with me. She will ask me questions about myself, and when I respond she will turn back around and look at her computer as if she has something better to do than listen to me. Then, she will ask for my advice on something and when I give my opinion, she will shoot it down and replace it with her own. It's really bizarre behavior.

It honestly feels like she is desperate to have some sort of power over me, and it creeps me out. Is this jealousy?

so things have been going a bit back and for between me and this guy. we dated a year ago but i felt like he was not ready so i ended it. he said he was just 'shy', and its hard for him to talk about bc he's not usually shy plus he's a guy so... but by then i just wanted it to be over. so i said its over. he accepted resolutely.

anyhow he asked me out earlier this year but i was hesitant bc of the past so he sensed this and said he understands if i'm not interested.

I said maybe we could hag out... following through with that i asked him out a while after but he evidently had taken my 'maybe' as not interested and was caught off guard. which i took as not interested. so i was pretty much just thinking of us as done.

then last week he asks me out and i got kind of annoyed, bc I don't know it was feeling like he was playing games, though i guess it could look the same to him. anyhow i asked him what he wanted bc i don't understand what is going on.

he said he's getting mixed messages from ME (lol) and he really likes me but everything's been kinda crazy and he did not know what to do or not, which made him feel stuck. so to solve this he planned on asking me out once and for all forgetting everything happening earlier. and id say yes, or id say no. and if i said yes wed hang out and see how it goes, maybe get a chance to clear things up, maybe just hang. he didn't really want to think on it too much in advance bc it'd feel forced. and if i said no, he'd move on. so it was REALLY important to him for me to answer yes or no.

as i said in the title its not an irrational thing to say but it just seems like i'm supposed to be able to know he's trying to out everything behind on one question, and just be able to answer with no info--without telling me. i mean he did bc i asked but if i hadn't he'd just base everything off yes or no. it just seems kind of harsh. I don't know exactly what bothers me about it but it seems dismissive. not sure it is.

what do you think? what would you do?