Dating Has Gone Bad

[whyisitso]

Modern dating is about hiding your feelings and playing a game...

If you have been single in the modern society, you probably know the these common problems I am gonna list. I am tired of the dating game we all have started to play and I might be old fashioned, but I do not see the point with it.

Does this sound at all familiar to you?

Dating sites

The place where no one really knows what they are doing there. Most claim they are not looking for anything, others are searching for casual sex. Hmm...

But aren't these sites invented for single people who wanna find love? What are all the married people then doing there? Looking for just casual sex? Well, that's just normal in the nowadays culture!

-Texting game: What would be nicer than to get a long and romantic letter from the one you are interested in? Maybe the modern version? A short text saying either "Su

p?" or "Tinderella, wanna fuck?". Oh! Who could resist this?

And if you get a text from the person you are dating, you should act like it would be no big deal. (well... If the text is as lovely as I suggested, it would be very hard to act like you don't care, wouldn't it?)

Remember, never answer too fast! that might take the magic out of it! The person might think you are too clingy and wanna marry them right away if you reply right away with a "Hey :)".

You also need to overanalyze the texts you get and see if the winking smiley-face might mean he is just after sex? Or maybe the short answer means he wants you to stop talking? Or maybe the question about hanging out means she is crazy in love with you?

Oh dear.

The actual face to face dating

Here you should not show too much attention to the person you like, they might think you are crazy. But if you show too little interest, they think you are cold.

If you are having sex, you should take it as casual and not talk about a relationship before they clearly show you two are a couple.

If you don't hear from them for a while you aren't supposed to show how you feel. If you do, you are both clingy and crazy. And in this situation, you should act like you couldn't care less.

When meeting someone for the first time

You know exactly nothing about this person so you have to analyse them first to know how to get to know them. You can't just walk up to them because that would be weird! (Sigh...) But that's what Internet is invented for, stalking, isn't it?

What if they are crazy? you have to stalk and see. (because that's not at all crazy...)

Was it better before?

Let me tell you, I think dating was much easier before. To search for love in a world like this is like seaching for a needle in a haystack. Everyone is hiding their feelings and you are hiding yours too.

Click here to read an article about frustration towards modern dating culture.

[Anonymous]

Yes, the dating game can get pretty annoying. We now have many options, more freedom to choose, to try, to fail, etc. and that's great but it can also be a disadvantage in a way, because it can lead to an underestimation of the value of real relationships.

[whyisitso]

Well, we have always had many options... it just wasn't as easy to try em. And that is the problem, when things get to easy they loose their value.

[Mrwoo99]

You're just about approaching the wall love, we'll see what options you have very soon. Hope you've enjoyed wasting your prime youth and party years (20s)

[whyisitso]

@Mrwoo99 who were you talking to? you seem very into this whole subject.

[Mrwoo99]

Talking to Anon

[Opinion Owner]

@Mrwoo99 what do you mean by "wasting"?

[coachTanthony]

Here are a few online dating sites besides the ones you are failing at. Just trying to help the people who have given up.

https://www.refinery29.com/best-dating-apps#slide

[IceCubedude]

In all honesty modern dating is a joke, really people go out nowdays to get laid not actually date, most proper dates are the ones you have after actually calling that person your bf/gf.

i mean no offense to anyone but women kinda ruined it, they (not all but a large number) treat men as dispoasble if a better looking, richer man with higher status arrives they will leave the one they have and go chase the new one.

if you show too much interest you're fked like literally they will ignore the shit out of you and will ghost on you, not to mention plenty of girls just want the satisfaction of meeting new men who give them attention they simply want attention and dont care about dating these men, the hotter the better.

If i list all the women i know who eye me often ad hold eye contact and seductively stare at me even when their fking boyfriend is right there beside them i will need more than 2500 words, which makes kinda scared of dating any attractive woman cause if she wants me to approach her despite having a boyfriend she will probably have another guy in mind while dating me.

men while are assholes dont exactly act like that all of my friends who are men dont wanna lie or use girls, if they want a relationship they will tell if they want just sex they will also get the message across, do men cheat? yes some do and thats bad, but women... women play too many games and it is starting to affect them, no gentlemen anymore, no opening doors, standing to let a lady sit, paying for dates... etc

and i will tell you why it all boils down to few simple points, this behaviour :

1- means men are used much less by women
2- it works

[Anonymous]

Look effect:

1. Young men are raised by single mothers because of poor choices made by women in the past in picking men. These boys grow up without a masculine figure and since media is about anti-masculinity they are not trained on how to deal with women and tend to get a false perception of what women are like and want based on movies/tv shows.

2. For the men who are good lookinng, rich and or have game they are the ones women constantly are attracted towards OVER AND OVER. These are the guys girls will pick first and get their hearts broken by until they are too old and then they try something new.

3. Many men play dating games to counter act the dating games women play. The games started with women and men just adapt.

4. Many girls don't take dating seriously. You got so many options you think of men as expendable and use men for entertainment and free food. Men aren't willing to play this shitty game of being a court jester especially if they really just want sex they can get another girl who is more willing.

5. Many girls sleep with men they are really attracted to right off the bat while making other group of men pay and wait to get the same treatment. Men talk and are aware of alpha fux/beta bux.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2234444-what-would-you-do-if-you-married-a-slut

The sluts who masquerade as good girls ruin it for all you girls because guys can't trust a girls to be themselves. Many girls will act like a total angel for one guy (especially if they want commitment) and for another guy be his little slut and do degrading things for him right off the bat.

7. For the men who actually want relationship/good partners many of them have been ran through and abused by women so much that they have opted out of dating all together.

[Opinion Owner]

The problem starts with women though since you guys control dating. How you can correct this:

1. Realise your value. Sex=/=commitment.

2. Realise the hot/attractive/rich guy no matter his sweet words has options and even if you get into a relationship with you will cheat on you with other women.

3. Realise that prince charming isn't always going to be the hot/rich/tall guy.

4. Realise that equality comes with a cost and female privileged of men paying, men planning everything for dates and entertaining you is shifting.

5. Realise thanks to technology and people being more connected that your Slutty past will be revealed.

6. Making 1 guy wait for sex but giving it up faster for another guy is a sure fire way to make that guy leave you.

7. Chasing and playing games only keep players/fuckboys around.

[whyisitso]

First of all:
No man needs a masculine parent to grow up to a man.
Second:
You seem to think the only thing worth having in a woman is sex? It is the price you get? Well, this is your actual problem.
Third:
Women, as men too, tend to date those people who are dating material and again the "crappy" ones are only OK for one-night-stands.

And by the way, if you only want sex and feel like dating is all about paying the bills, why do you even date anyone? Just go for the easy ones.

Btw: who would you pick
-the unattractive girl with no standards
Or...
-the sexy lady with standards
?
Ps. We women love that respect you show us so freely

[englisc]

@whyisitso

They do more often than not need a masculine role model to grow up to be a man. A woman can't teach a man how to be a man. Fatherless kids are most likely to experience gender dysphoria or confusion with gender identity - why do you think that is? I don't think that's just a coincidence.

[whyisitso]

@englisc maybe the fact that their father was too much of a pussy to be in his sons life? It is in the genes

[whyisitso]

Also,
Do you think motherless daughters are always unfeminine too?
What if the guy has someone else as their role-model?
And what if their father has died?
Why are you even talking about this? Where have you read it and why are you so bitter about it? Never had a mommy? Or what?
Think about it.

[englisc]

@whyisitso

I'm not bitter, I don't understand why you're reacting that way just because I disagreed with one of your points. It's not an attack on women. I just think that it's very important for a child to have a strong Father or a strong male role model. Of course a guy might have a different one other than the Father if he isn't around for whatever reason, but the Father is the main role model and statistically what I mentioned is true.

[whyisitso]

@englisc i am not a feminist. I am just a person who wants a little warmth in this world. I am not thinking you are attacking on women. I think you are making stupid points. A father is also just a guy who once grew up, he may have taken the wrong influence/been raised badly. Why would that make him any better of a role-model? Just asking...

[englisc]

@whyisitso

I didn't say you were, I just thought that was why you were so hostile as I see other guys attacking women here. You're right, a bad father is probably just as bad as no Father. I know a guy who just said he wants a sex change, surprise surprise, his Dad was a selfish arsehole who had always neglected him and might as well not have been there. The point I'm making is that the role of the Father is just as important as the role of the Mother, and I think it's sad that so many people today have forgotten that. I do agree with this guy that it has a lot to do with the fucked up dating scene and the fucked up way men and women are towards each other these days.

[whyisitso]

@englisc maybe, but I think that the child can grow perfectly normal both without their father or mother. They can do that even without their real parents, but without any role-models at all I don't see that possible. There is a lot of bad fathers, I had one, and there is a lot of bad mothers, I know because I have seen them. And I guess it is somehow in connection with this dating-subject, because in the future we will have even more bad parents. And yes, we have some weird shit going on between the two genders. Why does so many men hate all women and think everyone are radical feminists? And why does so many women get radical feminists? Well... l Think it has something to do with the world we are living in... But I am not sure. Maybe all this hate is gonna turn into love one day?

[englisc]

@whyisitso

It's possible that they can grow up fine without, but less likely. Children of single Mothers are much more likely to as I said experience gender dysphoria, do drugs, become alcoholic, commit crime, have sex at a younger age, get pregnant in their teens, develop depression, commit suicide etc. That's a statistical fact. The best environment for a child is with a good loving Mother and Father in a stable family, they're the kids who do best. So if being without one of the parents does so much damage to so many children, of course that will carry over to dating and the relationship between men and women. I'm not sure what will happen, I hope more people see sense but I think it will only get worse sadly.

[10dsw]

When I was younger I used online dating to find a relationship. I actually found my girlfriend on Tinder of all places.

I went on MANY dates legitimately looking for a relationship and I noticed the same trend over and over again:
(1) Girls would be very interested in going out for dates because I gave off a relationship vibe. If I didn't have sex with them by the second date, they were out.
(2) A lot of insecure girls who simply needed the validation of having multiple male suitors.
(3) A huge number of chicks looking to use me as a rebound. These were easy to detect because they got pushy and clingy FAST but still talked about exes.
(4) By far the biggest issue though was clingers who had daddy issues. Almost 90% of the chicks I dated ended up revealing "Oh my dad died when I was 13, oh my dad left when I was 6." etc.

Anyhow this was not meant as an attack on women, it's just that I obviously don't know what online men are like.

[whyisitso]

Nice to hear this side. I am possibly one from the last category. I have hard to trust men because of my own dad who never was trustworthy. He also died early, but that wasn't the problem. I don't see myself as a clingy person, but I know for a fact I sometimes against my will do get clingy. But it is only when a man really behaves crappy.
Men have similar categories.

[Anonymous]

Great take. I think dating in the modern world, especially due to online dating, has made it more complicated than it has helped. I think one of the biggest issue is that it gives too many options, which is a double edged sword. Sure it's good to have other options in case one or a few don't work out but for all you know

I also hate how texting has affected dating. I much prefer having a conversation in person or on the phone. Instead of this you gotta wait X amount of hours/days to reply or else you're needy.

[whyisitso]

Yeah, it is sad how we are living in a world full of fake relations and people taking through a phone and never even meeting the person. And it is rarely it developes to anything worth all the effort.
I would rather meet people irl and get to know them face to face. On the Internet are always just a facade of what it can be or could be.

[Opinion Owner]

Well it can be tiring at times. Don't get me wrong, I have met some cool people from there that I still talk to even though were not dating but it's superficial on many reasons. There's a lot of people who are cookie cutter or put no effort into them that it gets tiring to send generic messages.

Or I'll send out a bunch of messages and get nothing back at times. I try to find something relative to their profile. Not that this makes me entitled to getting a response of course. I'm just saying it makes me wonder what they want to hear at times.

[Opinion Owner]

Then I'll get my good dates where the person tells me I'm cute, funny, and how they wanna see me again by suggesting future dates only for them to disappear. It gets frustrating. And yet I still use those dating sites and apps lol

[whyisitso]

Well, it is because these apps seem to be the modern way of communication and mingling. No one really walks over to you randomly just because they wanna know you anymore. That all happens either on these apps, via social media or drunk on a club where no one can hear each other.

[Mrwoo99]

Women are causing the problem in dating because women are the gatekeepers to sex. Dating's bad for women because women are not capable of choosing partners because they're irrational and make decisions based on emotions rather than logic. Women dont know right from wrong reasons why they reward the wrong men with relationships and sex.

There's plenty of good caring loving loyal nice guys on minimum wage flooding her inbox on social media and on dating sites just willing to give her emotional connection, love and relationships.

[whyisitso]

spiritualcleansing.org/.../...-women-are-crazy.jpg

[Mrwoo99]

Women are the ones who are stupid, you women don't know right from wrong. How are we stupid? Wheres the evidence?

[whyisitso]

It is not that there wouldn't be nice guys out there, they just try to play it cool. And i was not speaking only for girls. I was speaking for guys too.
However, why is it that all the "nice guys" send girls dick pics or creepy messages? And why is iT so hard to see that there really are few nice ones out there, they aren't flooding all over every girls inbox. They are just all going for the bitch who want's a rich, hot guy.
And why is there so few nice women? Well, they have gotten tired of all the shit they get in their mailboxes.

But where is the romance? The sweet girls/guys who actually wanna meet and do something else than netflix and chill?
They are here... all hiding behind their masks, trying not to show how they feel.

[whyisitso]

Ask him. But I think that quote has a lot into it. He isn't too stupid, is he?

[spoonman2014]

Dating today is two people scared to catch feelings and whoever is the bigger asshole wins. My favorite is hearing the saying "oh i'm dead inside" no you are scared to catch feelings and keep running back to your ex because they already broke you once, you are just scared to get broken in a different way. If you think you can get through life without getting your feelings hurt then I feel truly sorry for you.
You might as well become a monk or something and avoid the rest of the world because life is a bitch and then you die. And i'm proud to say despite all this i'll keep trying, in school, at jobs, at love and everything in between.

[cth96190]

Please let us know if you continue to be interested in women, after you have been arse raped by a divorce court.

[spoonman2014]

@cth96190 Divorces suck but there is other things that suck worse than it. Like not living life, war, losing someone important and so much more

[Centurion20000]

"Dating today is two people scared to catch feelings and whoever is the bigger asshole wins. "

Stealing this; well spoken.

[spoonman2014]

@Centurion20000 Welcome, watch the Nicole Arbour video on it

[Unit1]

cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...2-ac25-866f4070c6a6.jpg

BLOODY HELL!!! This is a nightmare!

I agree, modern dating has gone wrong in so many levels, it's disappointing.

[HarrisonWells]

All I ever wanted was a relationship. Sex without it makes me feel empty inside, no connection. I tried that for a while and it sucks. Most women I come across are in relationships already and the ones that are not do not like me. So far for 13 years all I get is a negative answer. Am I not a good enough person for them to date?

[frozenhorizon]

So for 1, quit facebook, and for 2, play your own game with your own goals. I doubt dating was ever better, people have always had goals and compete with each other to reach them which means they have to be strategic... the strategies just evolve as culture evolves

[Tony1974]

BINGO! We have a winner! Unfortunately for you ladies, feminism has taught men that we are disposable at any moment and that we are no longer needed or valued for partnerships. Now that women are in charge of dating, it's going the way of Zimbabwean Dollar.. totally devalued and nearly worthless.

[Anonymous]

Dating has changed and evolved.
A lot of things have become 50/50 I don't know how.
For example back in the day if texting was a thing man would write poems not going a shit if she took it badly. Men nowadays are worried to end sentences with emojis now.
The only reason I can think of is the feminist movement simply because a lot of guys subconsciously take on the thought that if women are equal than they are equal in all aspects. Which is 100% true.
I've been in situations where I could approach but I don't anymore. Girls seem to approach me more now which is flattering but the reason why I do this is because I know what type of woman she is.

From a woman perspective it's because they are gatekeepers of sex. If sex becomes abundant value falls. It means she's less likely to find a guy willing to commit to that one vagina.

[martyfellow]

Maybe dating was always rotten! maybe people are wanting to meet each other in a more natural, organic way, and are rejecting the English aristocracy take on romance that is the basis of US dating!

[Anonymous]

"Why chase you when I'm the catch"

I feel like this is how most girls think.

[whyisitso]

Well this is what most people think. Not just women.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah but someone has to approach otherwise there'd be no relationships of any kind.

[whyisitso]

Yeah, this is why women do it more often these days.

[Opinion Owner]

For me I don't approach but not because of this. I don't see myself as any kind of catch I'm just super shy.

[whyisitso]

Well... To tell you a secret, I am shy too but occasionally I approach. I am a catch, but I don't think the right guy has to chase me. I am me, and that should do. Everyone is a catch for someone.
You are a catch too, but don't make them chase for your attention.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know. I just haven't had much success in the dating world so I just don't feel like a catch at all. I'd never make them chase for my attention. If one did show attention I'd be very forward and not act indifferent.

[Idonotgivearatsass]

Build Fort Knox around your heart and you'll be good to go... trust me!

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Sounds like the new feminism isn't the best approach for some girls.

[Liisjak]

Nobody is forcing you to do online dating. And honestly, I don't think I'll find my future ex-wife on Tinder. Though I found some pretty awesome bitches (personality wise) there, so it's always fun to talk to them and have a laugh together.

[yotes-of-472]

I agree. Probably 80% of dating sites are fake and unrealistic when applying to real life.

[ColinHarvey]

This is the industrial society that professor Kaczynski wrote about in his manifesto, and by using Facebook, tinder, twitter and the like we have all signed up for this.

[John_Doesnt]

Another person with nostalgia glasses. No, times are better than they were. Get over it.

[be_real101]

dave chappelle said it best, chivalry is dead and women killed it

[Mrwoo99]

Nah feminism did, they're brainwashing women the same way ISIS brainwashes Muslims.

[whyisitso]

@Mrwoo99 you started it?

[whyisitso]

spiritualcleansing.org/.../...-women-are-crazy.jpg

[whyisitso]

But this does not solve the thing that todays culture has destroyed the dating for all the romantics out there.

[Mrwoo99]

What did men start? Urmm.. hello? women are the gatekeepers to sex.

[whyisitso]

@Mrwoo99 sex is all you want? Go and get it. Don't babble here about chivalry.

[Absolute_Revenge]

Of course, blame the fucking man @whyisitso