Search Results: regrets in life

I don’t want to brag or anything like that but all my life, I’ve been told I was an underachiever when really I tried so hard to succeed in school, being social, being healthy, etc. I always wondered why I couldn’t become perfect. I wouldn’t fail but I was just an average joe and nothing scares me more than being average. Finally, I get an answer to all my problems and that’s ADHD. I could never focus in school. I could never focus in conversations and just zone out. Now, my life has started getting better with what I like to view as a second chance with medication and if I got this far with this disadvantage, I know I can kickass with treatment. Months pass by and I do start performing better at school, I start engaging more with my co-workers who viewed me as the “weird kid” thanks to my impulsivity. I work full time at school and work but I can’t seem to balance studying, working, and being an enjoyable human being for others. My parents can’t support me financially and I can’t fail in school. After every solution comes more and more problems, what would you do in this situation? Without money, I can’t afford my share of the rent and my diet and without grades, I’ll be stuck being a soulless cashier with “Life is Good” by Drake, Future playing in the background as my thoughts skewer towards regret and anger of not discovering this earlier. I am 18 and need a year and a half left of school. College is my option too. Thanks in advance!

2 months ago, I got in contact with a crush I knew in the 7th grade (I'm in the 11th grade rn). She rejected me at that time. We don't stay around each other in person and we don't know where each other lives. But the first month we started talking over instagram, she says she remembers everything about me. More than I remembered about her. We texted, sent voice messages, called each other, laughed at stuff I said, and she tells me that she regrets ignoring me in middle school. Her and I have so much in common and we used to get flirty and talked about nsfw stuff. We're both introverts and we get really shy around the opposite gender. She even called me 'hun' after a compliment. We even talked about how we both got bullied sometimes and I would always push her to not give up on herself. Then she told me about how she only has 2 female friends and like 10 guy friends (including an ex) due to being slut shamed. Then she started getting more quiet. She even ignores my messages while she's deadass online 24/7. I honestly think she talks to other boys and maybe our flame died out.
Recently she ghosted me all last week and still today. Then she casually replies to me messages saying 'good morning' and 'i just need time to myself' and then goes quiet again rn. Not even considering me. I think my love for her is growing too fast.
How can I do this as well? I've gotten advice from my friends and the internet on how to move on from a girl, except im not actually moving on. I'm trying to worry more on myself until she replies to me. I don't know if she's really taking time to herself, talking to other guys, or playing hard to get (which is really unlike her), but I wanna be as thoughtless as her right now to avoid becoming desperate.

How do I learn this emotionless ghosting power?