10 Warning Signs That Your Girlfriend Is Toxic

10 Warning Signs That Your Girlfriend Is Toxic

Sometimes it's too late when we begin to realize that the one we've been loving all this time is not the right one for us. I loved someone from all my heart only to be treated like s--t at the end. I even got mocked with degrading names that would hurt any guy. After she left I felt a huge relief and I realized that I've been carrying some useless weight on my back for months of time.

So, these are some signs to pay attention when you're on a relationship, so that you don't have to wait till it's too late.

She compares you with her Ex(es)

"He didn’t used to be like you!”

Obviously, the reason why two of you are together is that she found you to be different from the one(s) she was with in the past (but in a positive way). If you tend to listen to things like, “Harry didn’t take my jokes seriously, he was pretty cool with them” or “Bobby didn’t care about such things…” well something is wrong. You are yourself, you are not the other people she used to be with. Your personality, attitudes, preferences are different from them, and if she expects you to be like her ex or anyone else, there’s something wrong. Especially, if she compares you with them.

You have a feeling that she is hiding something

Ever felt like you’ve been with her for more than six months, but you still don’t know her that well? I had this feeling time to time, but I covered it up because I didn’t want to doubt anything about her. I once found that she has several fake social media accounts, but I didn’t find anything suspicious in them. So, I didn’t want to dig into that because I wanted to save our relationship, plus I trusted her. I also had the feeling that she didn’t tell me everything about her past relationships, and certain things about her friends. By the time we broke up, I regretted for not trusting my gut feelings.

She is too jealous

While we all get jealous at some points in our lives, it doesn’t mean we are jealous each time we see someone better than us, isn’t it? It’s pretty normal if she gets somewhat jealous when she sees you talking with a female friend or if some girl in the street is glaring at you. But, if she gets jealous each time you talk with a female friend, each time she sees someone prettier than her and she starts saying hateful things about them, dude, that’s a red flag. In short, if you find that she gets way too jealous, it’s not a good sign. A confident woman won’t act like that.

She is always the right one

No, this is not about the old quote “Your wife is always right”, or about agreeing to watch whatever movie she choose. Let’s say you made a mistake and you accept it and apologize for it. Then she does the same mistake, but instead of apologizing she starts justifying it and tries to prove how she is right at this particular point. If you’re not supposed to do things she doesn’t like, but she is supposed to do things you don’t like, because she is always right, please know that it’s another red flag.

She digs out old problems that were solved

Remember that fight you all had last month? Remember how you settled it and hugged each other? Now, while you've both agreed that it’s settled, then there’s nothing to argue again. But if you notice that she slowly digs out those old problems out of nowhere and develops them into new arguments, it means she is not over it. If this happens time to time, it might be a sign that she hasn’t forgiven you and probably won’t forgive in the future.

She puts her pressure out on you

Whenever my ex had a bad day, she would somehow find some reason to fight, and then, she would blame me for starting a fight. Sometimes the reason why she had a bad day would be because she couldn’t go to the park because it was raining, or she had to cancel some plans she had with her friends; something I’m not even responsible for. First she would start complaining, and that's okay, but then she finds something to argue so she can put that pressure out on me. What I hated the most was how she does that and then accuse me for being the one who is wrong. Huge red flag!

You don’t like her friends

Well, now this one might look debatable, but it has a hidden truth. We all have friends of different tastes and attitudes. But out of all those friends there’s this one group you always tend to share things with, hang out and consider as family. If that close group of friends of hers don’t give you good vibes, it could mean she is no different from them, but you just don’t see that because you’re dipped in love. We unconsciously tend to share similar view points, attitudes and tastes with our closest friends. So if you don’t like her friends, it tells something about her character as well.

She treats certain people badly

If she yells at waiters, talks low of anyone below her, it’s definitely a big red flag. What if you were in that level? She’d treat you the same. Also, how she treats her parents might say a lot about how she’ll treat you. Some might argue that not everybody has good parents, fine that’s right, but still the way she talks to her parents, treat them can tell a lot.

She plays the silent game

You talk with her today and she is normal, but on the next day, she suddenly goes silent. She doesn't call or text you. When you ask if she is alright she says yes. You get confused if you said or did something wrong. You again ask if everything is alright, and you get the same answer. You think that you must give her some time to be alone. This continues for the whole day or maybe even more than a day or two. Then finally when she talks she either starts complaining about something or simply start blaming you for not checking out on her.

You argue a lot

While arguing is a pretty normal thing in relationships, it doesn't mean arguing every once in a while is normal. Like I mentioned earlier, especially if she digs out problems that you already solved and they turn into new arguments, it's a very bad omen. After some time if you tend to take extra care with your words even during a very casual conversation with your partner (in order to avoid conflicts), understand that it's another sign that your future with her is dull.

So, guys if you notice these signs in your partner, please understand that your relationship is not a healthy one. If you notice these signs, first try to talk with her. Ask her why she does this and that, why she occasionally starts fighting etc. and try to understand her. And if nothing helps, maybe it's time to say good-bye to her find peace. Best of luck to you.

10 Warning Signs That Your Girlfriend Is Toxic
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girls

  • KimKardashiansFeet
    Good take, I've been in a toxic relationship myself and one big thing Id say is that you can't change them. No matter how much time or how many solved arguments there were he never changed. We were together for 7 months and he was toxic since day one.

    More signs are: do they listen to you? do they pressure you into things you dont want to do? do they find reasons to be angry at you? do they try to make you jealous? do they use you to put themselves on a pedestal? do they take advantage of you when you're vunerable?

    If you're unsure, please talk to someone and give examples. During any toxic relationship or friendship I've been in I haven't always properly understood how bad it was until afterwards.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Enkryption

      Very true. All those signs you mentioned are also related to this, and obviously, they cannot change. I thought she would change and it took me a long time to realize that she cannot. No matter how kind you try to be they always hurt you and then act like you hurt them.

    • For sure, Im happy you got out of that relationship 🤝

    • Enkryption

      Hope you too finally found peace

  • hi_it_is_me123
    I do agree with at many points except with talking to a female friend. There is no such as friend of the opposite sex. It is cheating. I dont get western people how they let their partner have friends of the opposite sex, even best friend of the opposite sex. There will always attraction between you and the friend of opposite sex. So it is a huge red flag.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Enkryption

      Can't agree. Having a friend from the opposite gender is not cheating. Let's say you're single and you have friends from opposite gender, you're not attracted to them in a romantic way, it's just friendship.

    • I dont have male friends but if have i would immediately stop it when my partner wants it

    • SoWhAt249

      If your partner wants it, then your partner is toxic. I've had girlfriends and female friends at the same time, didn't affect my relationships one bit. And also, since you mentioned "western people" then you must be "eastern", or I would specifically say, probably muslim, because opinions like that are not common among normal folk in the rest of the world. Jealosy is a disease. If she can't cope with me having female friends, she can fudge off. I don't build trusting friendships for years so one person can come and tell me who I can be friends with.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • DeltaCharlieEcho
    These are all good. The basic rules of thumb guys need to remember if to trust your gut with your woman. If it feels like she's cheating, she probably is. Men, in my experience, tend to have more accurate instincts when it comes to danger or relationship disintegration, and women tend to be more hyper vigilant and have individual reactions to more false alarms than men do.

    It's interesting when you compare the level of emotional awareness that we are taught women have compared to men to the accuracy and ability to define the feelings between the sexes.

    Everyone needs to find that balance of aware but not too aware.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Enkryption

      That's a very good comment. The thing is men tend to neglect their gut feelings if they are blindly in love. Happened to me.

  • winterfox10
    I can definitely confirm this list. I also want to add one more: She tells you and tells her friends different things. I reached out to my ex's friend once to ask her how my ex was doing. I didn't and don't have anything against her, and I knew that the pandemic was affecting people with mental health concerns, so I just hoped she was doing well. The friend simply asked me "Wait... didn't you two date?"

    What makes that question interesting is that my ex assured me that we were never a thing, and that I made it all up in my head.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Enkryption

      That's very true, should have mentioned that too. And sometimes what she tells about others also change in the same way, I noticed that.

    • Yeah... no bueno. Live and learn though, right? Thought she was my dream girl at first. It turns that who someone is romantically is not always the same as who they are when you're just a friend.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • JaneDoe377
    I agree except that these traits are in some men too, that I've been with. Either way, it is a toxic situation with someone who does those things.
  • mobjay82
    The classic narcissist's. he or she is never wrong. if they ever apologize which is rarely it comes out an a form of annoyance like exam/ "ok ok there im sorry ok there you happy" im like no keep it im good. They are master manipulators and very quick on turning them tables back at you. 2 signs veery sneaky that I've noticre that was men tion here
    1. hey you miss me? you say yes " how much? instead of saying " hey ni miss you"
    2. advising a friend on how to lie in frongtm of you. I've cought my friends girlfriends advising on how to lie and what to say, her partner amazed on how smatrt she is. im like idiot the she reveling herself. I busted one of my exes doing this i looked at her and amazed on how stupid this chic is didn't say anuything until we got in the car. i said man dude your friend is lucky to have you that was a good plan on how to lie, it started to sink in. i remember teling her i dont stress on jeleousy or im not that guy that is streesing out on who you on the phone texting because i believe the lie will surface without me going craxz. now look that lie you showed your friend ws the same excuse i got lie last weeek you presented to me who knows how many more you got away with. im respectfully removing myself from you
  • WalterBlack
    Digging up old problems that were (supposedly) solved has to be one of the biggest red flags. You can't move forward as a couple if one or both of you are stuck in the past.
  • scott04sa22
    My ex was very toxic and she had more than 10 warning signs And she was pulling red flags every 5 minutes or so.
    • Enkryption

      Of course such people have more than 10 signs, I could go on writing till the word limit exceed.

    • Yeah. My ex couldn't keep me or stay with me. She was toxic and psycho.

  • SavageGirl101
    I’m not many of those but everyone has secrets that they don’t have to tell you and if you don’t like my friends there’s nothing I can do about that cause I’m not about to drop my friends for a boy😴
  • Poppykate
    Sometimes you have to dig out old problems. If a person keeps doing the same thing, repeatedly, you can’t just forgive and move on. You need to let them know that it’s an ongoing issue.
    • But he said problems that were solved already.

    • It's like when she brings up that one time you said that thing which you've already discussed and got over with together

      Yeah that can be really toxic and counter-productive in a relationship

  • CoolKatie
    This what my last ex boyfriend did to me to. it same way with both men & women. toxic is talking about ex partner. Not letting the person breakup for them. yes men can be toxic as well. girls can be toxic as friends or as partner.
  • Liam_Hayden
    "She digs out old problems that were solved"

    I think you just painted almost all women as toxic. When my best friend gets frustrated with my eccentricities she'll bring up stuff from when I was 9 or 10 and my bestie is the closets-to-perfect girl (besides my mom) whom I've ever known.
    • closest no closets. Where is my#$#@%^^&% edit button!

  • Amanda2
    Gaslighting, lying, being selfish- always makes plan last minute or changes plans last minute. Doesn’t integrate you into their circle of friends
  • Rei02
    Jealous, putting presure and arguing a lot can be some of my flaws in a relationship, I can be aware of them, but they are difficult to control them in a moment when either I feel insecure, have a desire to keep and nurture the relationship or my ego takes the best of me (not that I did it with my partner, but I do it with very close relationships like with my family, even for stupid things).

    No one is perfect, but yes, we need to recognize when a relationship is toxic and it is better to be alone or meeting new people.
  • guesswhoseback
    “She compares you to her ex”. Yep that is a huge warning sign. Bright blinking neon warning sign.

    I had one ex girlfriend who did a lot of that. In the beginning and middle of the relationship it was all positive. As nice as that was to hear there was distant alarm bells ringing in my head.

    Then at the end she of course compared me with the negatives. The f*cking day she broke up with me she outright said “this is just like my last relationship blah”.

    I regret not speaking up about that bs earlier. What is done is done. But that was very unfair. I intentionally never brought up my exes.
    • Some of your other points on here are overkill though. Every woman just like every man has their personality flaws. The majority of them don’t fight fair when things go wrong. Their emotions have too much sway on how they judge things. It’s a huge pain in the ass but we have to deal with it.

      But what I care about most is integrity and respect. Respect is NOT the same thing as attraction. If you only respect people you are attracted to and/or like then you are conceited.

      The true acid test is how she treats you if she breaks up with you or vice versa. Does she sit down face to face and tactfully yet directly say things are going to work out (and give closure why?). Or does she ghost, cheat on you or breaks up overconfidently assuming you will he okay with just being friends?

      When another person no longer serves a purpose for her how does she act towards them? The empathy or lack thereof is telling.

    • mobjay82

      Yup some girls are crafty liked my ex all of a sudden started to pick fights everything was accusing me of things i didn't do, so that was an alert red flag i started to investigate i found out kept it to myself when she broke up with me made it me believe i was horrible. when she said bye i told her your good you actually believe your own BS. look if youn fell out of love with me then say it. you let a guy in when we both lived far apart and he manipulated everything but im not going to blame him you entertained it. im not going to call you names or put you down because that will only make it easy for you. so good luck i hope it all works out thank you for being there when i needed you to be there. a while back we where talkinfg about if we ever broke how would we handle it i said I"I LEAVE AS I CAME WITH A SMILE IN MY FACE CHEST OUT HEAD UP> you'll REMEMBER THIS WAY

    • @mobjay82 yeah I did this a few months ago to a girl who was trying to keep me as an orbiter. She is out the country but is moving my state as wants to keep me as resource.

      I called her out on her bs without calling her names (I wanted to though). She tried to gaslight me which confirmed I was making the right decision. She really is a selfish piece of shit.

      At the end I said “well I’ll remember you as a
      wonderful lady. I wish you the best of luck”. I actually heard her choke up a bit on the receiver. She thought I would always be her ready made friendzone chump. Then she realized she is completely wrong. Click.

      I’ll never contact her again. Felt good to take my power back.

  • ManOnFire
    This is an excellent post where I have experienced many of the same things. All true indeed.
  • John_Doesnt
    Big boobs but low confidence is a red flag. Why would a girl with sweater stretchers have low confidence?
  • Massageman
    Worst of all, she sharpens her axe every morning!

    Great take. Thanks!
  • Dargil
    Most white, middle/upper class women are toxic. Feminist Derangement Syndrome (FDS) has consumed them. The best thing for real men to do is to recruit women from offshore who are not infected. This solves three problems.
    *Lets FDS women die alone with their rabbit vibrators and useless Master's Degrees and not infect future generations..
    *Improves the gene pool to reduce or eliminate genetic diseases.
    *Liberates foreign born women from cultures that wrongfully oppress women.
    It's all good. Thanks, third wave Feminism!!! Please, don't stop!!
    • bailey11

      You know most white, middle/upper class women, do you? lmao

    • White women are a pain in the ass and I say that as a white man. But let’s keep race out of this. There are plenty of exceptions either way.

    • Dargil

      @bailey11 No. rotflol.

  • supercutebutt
    This toxic girlfriend sounds like Trump with tits. :)
  • pleasestopthis
    Great take, I agree with every point you wrote here.
  • Larson7
    How many toxic people you think that suspect their toxic?
  • zagor
    You have unprotected sex with her and your penis turns green.
  • Marriedwith2
    The Right Wing guide to if a woman is toxic:

    1 she dares to disobey your orders
    2 she doesn't like it when you threaten her
    3 she thinks she has rights
    4 she won't spread her legs for you on sight
    5 she gives you defiant looks
    6 she thinks sexual assault is evil
    7 she gets nervous when you stay within her personal space after politely telling you she isn't interested. (The bitch!!!)
    8 she doesn't drop to her knees and unzip your pants after you say hello for the first time
    9 she doesn't reassure you that interracial dating is evil and only done by white trash
    10 she doesn't sooth your tiny ego or your tiny manhood
    • I can't tell if this is real or sarcasm lel

    • mobjay82

      i dont know if your fucking around or being real. but if your bering real man you have a bad case of lows elf esteem. dont call her a bitch when she gets up and leaves yo ass you did this

  • Shiningtempest
    @Enkryption This is why I consider dating to be equivalent to Russian dating.
  • JosephTate
    OMG! It is soooo true about her friends and preassure on me (sometimes).
  • OmNomaly
    Also, never forgive a cheater.
    • mobjay82

      you can forgive you should never forget

    • OmNomaly

      @mobjay82 If you forgive, it usually bites you in the ass later.
      They usually get much better at hiding it after you've caught them once as well.
      I forgave someone a while ago that cheated on me. We continued int he relationship for another 4 years. After she left and I cleaned up. I found a list of guys names and phone numbers wrapped up in panties she had shoved to the bottom of the drawer.

      If YOU want to give it a shot, go for it.
      But for me, if they did it once. They sure as hell will do it again.

    • mobjay82

      lo forgiving does not mean u need to be in a relationship with them or even let them back in your life. trust me once you still cheat in any way have no trust for you i won't ldet yolu back in my life but il forgive you. to forgive jjust means you no longer want revangde or hate towards them they can here and there but no longer have my full attention

    • Show All
  • J2ohhhhh
    It's so me lol
  • legalboxers
    spot on for the fighting, arguing, and harping.
  • Sweetheart666
    This sounds like my exhusband to a T.
  • lovelyhoneybones
    First sign, she has fumes coming out of her
  • Flakey-Flake
    👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
  • i got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.
  • drhlrajput
    Hi how are u
  • Anonymous
    1. With an ex she made out he was a terrible awful guy and other guys just wanted her for sex. She told me lies about her ex like that he slipped a ruffy into her drink after they fell out, followed her home and left a note on her windshield which she never read, the last time she ever touched alcohol. I asked around after our break up turns out she cheated multiple times on this man, used to drink too much and was abusive towards him. She's spent years trashing this man because he dared dump her for cheating on him and has dared to be happy with a wife kids and is quite successful.
    2. Playing the victim. Constantly plays the victim in everything. Some women play this tactic with men and it works well because men want to be the hero saving the day and I was no different riding in like galahad to save the day all because she had nice tits. She played the victim on her ex, with her parents and now on me. When I dumped her for cheating and called social services on her for beating my kid she started making allegations against me such as rape, stalking, bullying, harassment. She tries to start arguments and tries to get me to follow her but I've a dash cam and don't take the bait. Her new boyfriend has even tried provoking me no doubt ready to call the cops.
    3. Lies. You may start to notice she will tell outrageous lies and then when caught out dismiss or explain them away.
    4. Mask. You may notice she puts on a mask when she's out but is completely different at home.
    5. She can't kept friends. Her friends fall out with her or distance themselves because she offends or gossips about them.
    6. Money. She treats you like a piggy bank and you are expected to pay for everything and bail her out of debt while shd blows all her money on her.
    7. Gifts. She buys expensive gifts to win you and people over.
    8. Everything is your fault, her failings are your fault
  • Anonymous
    She demands your phone and social media account passwords

    and you are so right on all of these, especially the silent treatment
  • Anonymous
    • Yes, agree.

    • Why u scream woman

    • mobjay82

      @Syrian_survivor no one is saying just women but the signs came from a male POV. Believe me when i tell you women put up with a lot of crap i can tell you fr when i looked in the mirror and realize what a piece of shit i was but it took me to hurt someone to find m myself and what kind of man i wanted too become. Il be the first to tell you women have it really hard right now your dealing with egotistic wanna be rappers. i was just sharing my experience and matter how bad the relationship was i never called a women bitch, hoe etc. ithe women that im talking about has my baby and to this day i can honestly tell you she uses fowl language, is very disrespectful i keep my cool for 3 reasons 1. i promised her kids the things i will never do, ever raise my voice. il never get in your moms face, i never ever disrespect her no matter the situation 2. i will not let someone control me by letting her get under my skin staying cool is powerful, 3. she gave me a beautiful baby girl and me being cool, gentlemen are things my daughter will remember. after all im raising someones wife and im raising somenes mom

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Sign 11 - She is a Female
    Sign 12 - She is a Feminist
    Sign 13 - She is Woke
    Sign 14 - She is a SJW
  • Anonymous
    You’re describing me
  • Anonymous
    I think the only one that I can say is spot on to myself is that I used to be secretive. If my ex boyfriend ever were to ask anything I would not lie but I definitely didn’t make it a priority to include him in my family life-back then I actually had wanted to abandon my family. Like you said, everyone’s doesn’t come from a good family. I didn’t disrespect my family, I was just fed up with being treated like a piggy bank for my parents. But when it came to my personal life I kept it hidden. I kept him at an arms length to protect my family reputation. I didn’t like the family I came from. I didn’t want to hurt him by being secretive, I probably didn’t even realize that I was wrong to keep him at an arms length when it came to incorporating him into my personal life. I didn’t think he cared bc he stopped asking to meet my dad after I said not yet. I was secretive about family problems, issues with money, or household issues. I never wanted to burden him with those things or worry him, and more than anything I was embarrassed that my family was nothing like his. I was wrong. But I never lied to him or kept secrets about things that I thought would hurt him. I didn't keep secrets about other guys
    • Yeah I personally got some issues with my mother. How I bring this up to women I’m interested in is tough. There is very stupid belief that “how a man treats his mother is how he will treat you”. Well just like how not every girl has the greatest dad not every guy as was born with the greatest mother.

  • Anonymous
    Why just girlfriend? These points can apply to a boyfriend, too. I know. My sisters had boyfriends that fit the descriptions in this post. But now they know how to spot potential toxic boyfriends because they read the free book "Are Men the Weaker Sex". I recommend that every woman read it. It contains information that women need to learn (before they learn the hard way through trial and error).
    • Yeah guys are guilty if this bs too. But seriously why are you white knighting this? Why are you pushing a book with a misandric headline such as “men are the weaker sex”? There are plenty of females on GAG and in society in general who public articles, books and TV shows giving women dating advice.

    • mobjay82

      @guesswhoseback thank you sir

    • @mobjay82 np. If the playing field was fair (and it’s not) I would be more open minded about the qualms women have about men.

  • Anonymous
    you are talking about most of the female population lol
  • Anonymous
    Oh damn. I am toxic. Good thing i don't date
  • Anonymous
    Great take. I will add one more sign... she is a feminist. This is not to say that being feminist always makes a woman toxic, but rather that modern feminism tends to attract women with toxic personalities. Suffice to say that, given what feminism actually is today, any woman who openly proclaims herself a feminism is suspect.
    • Enkryption

      I agree, modern feminism is not what feminism is actually supposed to be.

  • Anonymous
    Or she happened to be in a relationship with Johnny Depp 😳😂