Sometimes it's too late when we begin to realize that the one we've been loving all this time is not the right one for us. I loved someone from all my heart only to be treated like s--t at the end. I even got mocked with degrading names that would hurt any guy. After she left I felt a huge relief and I realized that I've been carrying some useless weight on my back for months of time.
So, these are some signs to pay attention when you're on a relationship, so that you don't have to wait till it's too late.
She compares you with her Ex(es)
"He didn’t used to be like you!”
Obviously, the reason why two of you are together is that she found you to be different from the one(s) she was with in the past (but in a positive way). If you tend to listen to things like, “Harry didn’t take my jokes seriously, he was pretty cool with them” or “Bobby didn’t care about such things…” well something is wrong. You are yourself, you are not the other people she used to be with. Your personality, attitudes, preferences are different from them, and if she expects you to be like her ex or anyone else, there’s something wrong. Especially, if she compares you with them.
You have a feeling that she is hiding something
Ever felt like you’ve been with her for more than six months, but you still don’t know her that well? I had this feeling time to time, but I covered it up because I didn’t want to doubt anything about her. I once found that she has several fake social media accounts, but I didn’t find anything suspicious in them. So, I didn’t want to dig into that because I wanted to save our relationship, plus I trusted her. I also had the feeling that she didn’t tell me everything about her past relationships, and certain things about her friends. By the time we broke up, I regretted for not trusting my gut feelings.
She is too jealous
While we all get jealous at some points in our lives, it doesn’t mean we are jealous each time we see someone better than us, isn’t it? It’s pretty normal if she gets somewhat jealous when she sees you talking with a female friend or if some girl in the street is glaring at you. But, if she gets jealous each time you talk with a female friend, each time she sees someone prettier than her and she starts saying hateful things about them, dude, that’s a red flag. In short, if you find that she gets way too jealous, it’s not a good sign. A confident woman won’t act like that.
She is always the right one
No, this is not about the old quote “Your wife is always right”, or about agreeing to watch whatever movie she choose. Let’s say you made a mistake and you accept it and apologize for it. Then she does the same mistake, but instead of apologizing she starts justifying it and tries to prove how she is right at this particular point. If you’re not supposed to do things she doesn’t like, but she is supposed to do things you don’t like, because she is always right, please know that it’s another red flag.
She digs out old problems that were solved
Remember that fight you all had last month? Remember how you settled it and hugged each other? Now, while you've both agreed that it’s settled, then there’s nothing to argue again. But if you notice that she slowly digs out those old problems out of nowhere and develops them into new arguments, it means she is not over it. If this happens time to time, it might be a sign that she hasn’t forgiven you and probably won’t forgive in the future.
She puts her pressure out on you
Whenever my ex had a bad day, she would somehow find some reason to fight, and then, she would blame me for starting a fight. Sometimes the reason why she had a bad day would be because she couldn’t go to the park because it was raining, or she had to cancel some plans she had with her friends; something I’m not even responsible for. First she would start complaining, and that's okay, but then she finds something to argue so she can put that pressure out on me. What I hated the most was how she does that and then accuse me for being the one who is wrong. Huge red flag!
You don’t like her friends
Well, now this one might look debatable, but it has a hidden truth. We all have friends of different tastes and attitudes. But out of all those friends there’s this one group you always tend to share things with, hang out and consider as family. If that close group of friends of hers don’t give you good vibes, it could mean she is no different from them, but you just don’t see that because you’re dipped in love. We unconsciously tend to share similar view points, attitudes and tastes with our closest friends. So if you don’t like her friends, it tells something about her character as well.
She treats certain people badly
If she yells at waiters, talks low of anyone below her, it’s definitely a big red flag. What if you were in that level? She’d treat you the same. Also, how she treats her parents might say a lot about how she’ll treat you. Some might argue that not everybody has good parents, fine that’s right, but still the way she talks to her parents, treat them can tell a lot.
She plays the silent game
You talk with her today and she is normal, but on the next day, she suddenly goes silent. She doesn't call or text you. When you ask if she is alright she says yes. You get confused if you said or did something wrong. You again ask if everything is alright, and you get the same answer. You think that you must give her some time to be alone. This continues for the whole day or maybe even more than a day or two. Then finally when she talks she either starts complaining about something or simply start blaming you for not checking out on her.
You argue a lot
While arguing is a pretty normal thing in relationships, it doesn't mean arguing every once in a while is normal. Like I mentioned earlier, especially if she digs out problems that you already solved and they turn into new arguments, it's a very bad omen. After some time if you tend to take extra care with your words even during a very casual conversation with your partner (in order to avoid conflicts), understand that it's another sign that your future with her is dull.
So, guys if you notice these signs in your partner, please understand that your relationship is not a healthy one. If you notice these signs, first try to talk with her. Ask her why she does this and that, why she occasionally starts fighting etc. and try to understand her. And if nothing helps, maybe it's time to say good-bye to her find peace. Best of luck to you.