Search Results: felt guilt

Background: Had an emotional affair with a guy from work about a year ago. There was kissing, some touching hugging & a lot of talking, but never sex. We mutually ended it because even though we truly cared about each other & felt like we were falling in love, we were both in other relationships and the guilt got to us.

Now: We still work together. We have managed to make it through a very hard year of maintaining a working relationship and staying friends. I have fought the strong feelings I still have for him but would never want to ever hurt him. We have become really good friends & can talk about just about anything. We laugh, we talk and just get along amazingly well. We talk about our relationships & rely on each other for advice. I don't honestly know if he realizes the depths of feelings I still have for him. But, he is a good guy & has been nothing but wonderful in trying to work through a bad situation.

There is ONE thing that bothers me. At work, he will sometimes be talking to his girlfriend on the phone & its a small office so I can't help but hear. Its hard to listen to him talking to her! Also, recently he has been getting calls from other people at work because he & his girlfriend had a baby recently (unplanned) & I hear him say stuff like, "She was a champ" (re: labor) or "She was all baby & she has lost all the weight & looks great".

Question: Does he not realize at all how much this hurts for me to hear? Is he assuming I am fine & am over him because we are friends? Is there any chance he is saying these things to try to make me jealous or is he just clueless? Guys, help me understand what he is thinking. I would NEVER brag about my other relationship in front of him. He will call to say things like, "Oh, do you want me to take off Tuesday, so I can go w/you to the doctor?" Prior to our relationship, he NEVER called her. I didn't even know he had a gf! Why is he suddenly calling her? I feel like he is purposely trying to show me what a great guy he is. Sometimes I feel like he is TRYING to make me jealous or something. But maybe he is completely unaware. Thanks for any thoughts on this!