Search Results: picking up women

I have been trying to champion acceptance and tolerance for gender differences, but there is one thing I have to side with the fellas on is the whole "Guess what I want in my loaded question or attitude" thing.

Now the “Do I look fat” question I get—we all want appreciation and validation from our love partners.

What I am talking about is a whole different animal.

Seriously many ladies is they seldom say what they mean in relationships. I even dated a couple of girls (very, very briefly) that were always playing mind games. It was like "Guess what I want or I will be mad."

Far too often I got the "silent treatment" and it was enough to have me trot out the "lets be friends speech." Of course, if they asked why I broke it off, I told them, which often ended up with us not being friends...*shrugs*

I never had this issue--in fact--I found my honesty often scared dudes off. If I liked you, I called the next day. I figured, hey, I am not talking about picking out wedding rings, just showing I enjoyed and liked spending time with you--I mean, isn't that what you want to know after a date?

For every guy who was skittish about my response, assuming it meant I was desperate, there were those who liked the fact I was up front and didn’t play games.

Now, for sure, honesty can get yah in trouble, especially when it comes to someone who is as opinionated as I am, and yes, there are a few men who say they want some mystery. Perhaps it is this mixed signal of "Be honest but don't tell me too much" that makes women want to play coy? Heck, I dunno.

But I just can’t stand the whole “Guess what I am thinking/feeling/saying” routine.

Every time I see a chick flick where a girl goes off a on a guy because he didn't get her 101 clues about something she wanted, I want to scream (which is why I rarely watch chick flicks.)

I even knew one woman who told me that if her and her man is supposed to be soul mates, of one mind and one accord, then he should know what she wants.

I was like, "Uhm--what?"

Yet another said that it could be because women feel men won’t understand her needs if she tries to explain what she wants outright. I find men do understand where I am coming from—I simply introduce concepts in a language they understand. All men are different mind you, but like with the hubby, he is a computer techie type, so I try to get a bit technical and less flowery and emotional in my wording—it works. Men care—you just have to see what works best for communicating—it is an individual thing and will take work. With practice it falls into place.



I know there is a subtle psychology to this but I do not comprehend it -- I don’t think it is simply because women want to play games--maybe they are getting some kind of signal from the dating game that makes this seem necessary.

Guys/girls--I want a few ideas tossed out here--this has always been a thing that has had me nonplussed about my fellow gender...

One love.

People keep complaining about how no woman/man will give them a chance. I am nice, they say-- attractive, have good job--so it must be the world and not me.

Chances are however, that people don't realize that they have a chip on their shoulders or are giving off an angry/bitter/desperate vibe that smart people run away from.

That leaves only the players and manipulators who can see their weaknesses an use them to hurt them over and over again.

Instead of seeing their faults and fixing them so this doesn't happen however, they figure it must be because women don't want nice guys, or all guys are dogs. Hummm, maybe it is time to see what we ourselves are doing to make our dating lives unfruitful.

I mean--is it just easier for people to lash out at the world than to fix themselves?

I had to internalize and see why I was messing up. Come to find out I was too clingy/desperate and that kept picking emotionally unavailable men who were like my dad, a drug abuser.

I wanted to be "saved" by love.

Emotionally stable people with morals ran--leaving jerks who used my neediness and pain to their advantage.

I never gave up hope,and when I realized where I was erring, I made healthy changes.

In time, I met a really good guy and we have been happily married ever since.

So many people stand in the way of their own unhappiness but want to blame others.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Check out his article on the 101 bad habits we fall into that make keep us single, as this will maybe shed some light:

link