Search Results: suicidal thoughts

After 14 months of a turbulent relationship with my partner who admits he is not good with relationships of any sort (quite antisocial), can be rude and unaware of healthy boundaries, but he is trying so hard to be better at all of the above and loves me very much and it is mutual. Both of us realize we are out of options when it comes to being together and having a normal and stable relationship, because we have tried different things to help the relationship to go the right way, end up at another roadblock. I don't want to leave him as I hope we will pull through one day soon, but I have been let down so many times and with important things like my safety, health, financial stability, and my trust in him as a reliable and honest partner. Forgiving him and trying to move on doesn't do us a great deal of favor. Trying to address things with him sometimes ends up being called it "bitching and moaning", which makes me want just to keep my mouth shut and get on with things as they are. When take time to come up with a constructive way to speak with him about it he peaks up and tries to address it himself without realizing that I might not always be ready to talk. This also upsets him. if I am not ready to communicate I can say something unintentionally that would upset him as well (he is sensitive one and takes things too close to heart). Hence I try to talk less about what is on my mind until I am clear what exactly that is so I can tell him in a constructive way. During our fights the truth comes out in the most ridiculous way through shouting it out and bringing up the past issues, and overreacting. When he gets aggressive police gets called in, he has been asked to go twice. Fighting drains both of us, and we both strong headed. I often have suicidal thoughts during our fights, and every time say to my self this is the last time. Few days/couple of weeks he is back into my life, because he loves me and hopes for the best with us and so do I. Thank you all.