Search Results: get my boyfriend to forgive me

I am in a relationship with the love of my life. Until this weekend just gone. Earlier this year my best friend passed away. My boyfriend found it strange and could not understand how I was so upset over another man. He made my life a misery the night of the funeral making disgusting comments about my dead friend. Somehow I forgave him. I have severe social anxiety and this weekend decided to push myself and go out with him and his friends -it was painful but the more beer I drank, of course the easier it got. All in all it was an enjoyable night, until the taxi ride home. When my partner made a joke about my dead friend, as we passed the canal of which he had drowned in. Of course I went absolutely mental. As we returned home he beat me up, and was kicking me on the floor, then went & got his passport and flew to Spain, and left me in a heap, literally. Instead of my usual crying, begging him for the first time in a year, I went out with my friends and let me hair down, and I had the BEST time ever. During this bender I made new friends, and also bumped into a guy who's a friend of a friend. I felt drawn to him he was so funny, and I actually fancied him - which is the first time i've found another man attractive in the entire time me and the other half have been together. I put this down to being drunk. However the next few days I couldn't get him off of my mind. This weekend we met again. We ended up alone as others left. He offered to go back to his, I knew it felt wrong, but at the same time it felt so right. We walked back, we put some music on and were just having a laugh. This escalated, we ended up kissing, I mounted him, we drank more and danced, then ended up in his bedroom just in our underwear, we kissed nothing else, but I wanted more. And I still do, but I still love my other half but I just don't like him right now. I've actually arranged to meet this other guy one evening this week, wrong I know and I already feel guilty?

i broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago because he cheated on me. he never came back and asked me to forgive him, he just said okay and we broke up. (he cheated twice btw) he said it's for my good etc etc. even though he cheated, he was a really great boyfriend. he did so much just to make me happy. he put in a lot of effort for my last birthday and got me $300 worth of things and hand made gifts. i could see my birthday really meant a lot to him. he did love me a lot, but he just couldnt treat me right. his birthday is next week, and I've decided to not wish him. maybe im childish and immature because even tho he did so much for me, i just can't let go of the fact that he cheated on me twice. and the thought that he has other girls to wish him keeps coming to me. im sure me wishing him happy birthday will mean quite a lot to him. but i want to protect myself from being hurt. am i heartless or mean?