Search Results: getting engaged

Thanks for reading and hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. I'll be 28 next summer, and I've never been kissed or held hands, never had a boyfriend or been asked out, never been crushed on, and I'm still a virgin. I have completed my education and I work at a university.

I feel so ashamed of myself sometimes, and I feel very behind and late. It makes me feel so ugly and unattractive and undesirable. The idea that a guy someday might like me is almost fantasy of mine. I have seen friend after friend get boyfriends, get engaged, married and have kids, and I feel embarassed because I can't even get a guy to look at me or talk to me. I am currently seeing a therapist to help me with my self-esteem issues and am also on an online dating site called okcupid.

Based on the photos below, what do you think? Please be honest with me. Do you think I have a chance at love or getting married someday? Do you think I can compete alongside other girls who are better? Do you think a guy might like me romantically or want to get to know me more someday?

https://imgur.com/3nWHA0I
https://imgur.com/fQ9vh1k
https://imgur.com/Hu0nbNQ
https://imgur.com/VIBJEFz

Thanks and everyone have a wonderful New Year.

I was briefly seeing a guy - went out for about 3 dates before he tried to pull the Netflix and Chill stuff a couple times - said he was working late and couldn't meet earlier. I figured that was BS so i told him we'll see how it goes (that was me saying no).

He reached out a couple weeks later to see how i was doing. That was when we started to engage in a series of text trying to outwit the other with snippy comebacks to see who had the upper-hand. It was flirty and fun at first until it wasn't. It got to the point where it was a bit insincere and leading nowhere..

I told him I'd like to see him again and he did ask me out saying we should hang out the next day (no specific plans) - but I wasn't sure if he was still trying to pull the NF & chill thing though it was a move away from going back to his place. Anyway, I think I had a sudden change of mind/ cold feet of being irrationally afraid of getting played and chose to ignore his text, thinking he would not follow up. He did and asked if we were gonna see each other again. And that was when I told him straight i didn't think we're looking for the same things and wished him good luck. He didn't even open the message, let alone reply - i was told that his ego took a beating and he was caught off guard by my response?

In any case, it's been 2 months now and I find myself thinking of him very frequently for past week. Is it a good idea if I were to reach out (festive season and all)? Or would I just seem a bit loony after blowing him off (though I wasn't sure of his intentions)?