Search Results: abusive men

When I say preference I don't mean safety standards , which are standards you keep to protect you. E. g. not abusive etc.

Preference to me means something you would want but if everything else was right you could over look it.

For example, if a woman was kind, had a great personality, was fair and trustworthy, I feel people could overlook if see was a bit "large".

If a man ticked all the boxes but height, I feel people should over look it.

The comprises should mainly be on visual preferences. I do see women compromising but it often comes back to hurt them as they end up with an abusive partner.

This is why standards like not abusive and kind should be withstanded but preferences like height , weight and looks which don't themselves indicate a bad relationship should be a bit more flexible.

So the scenario is like this... A woman dated a man for let's say a year, they break up, she finds out after the break up, and getting with her new man, that she is pregnant and it is her ex's. Should her ex be informed of the child, and be allowed to be a father in that child's life...

Item number 1 to consider... He was never abusive, never on drugs, not a criminal.. They just broke up.

I'm of the mind set that she should be required to inform the father. Fathers have rights, and if he helped create a child he should be in that child's life supporting it and being a father..

This question was inspired by two things, one, I'm a member of TFRM (the fathers rights movement) and support default 50/50 custody. And two, by a comment to someone else's question, I won't mention her name, but I see her as everything wrong with women these days, she sees her body and anything that comes from her body as her property to do as she wishes with. The first part is true, the second part is not.. Below is the comment..

"Wow. Not even open to discussion. Just "I'm right and so everyone else is wrong" it is entirely up to her because if he is an abusive asshole then he shouldn't be in either of their lives. Laws that try to tell a woman what she should and shouldn't do with her body and her children and who should get to know are idiotic and primitive. It should entirely be her choice"

She's of the school of thought that fathers are not equal to mothers... Tell that to the people that committed all but one of the recent mass shootings.. They were from fatherless homes.

The classical psychology theories say that a girl's formative years (around 18 months to 8 years old I believe, or something like that) play a key role in how her female-to-male relationships and dynamics will play out in later life... and that the father, as her first male role model, acts like a symbolic representation of what men should be like. So by this logic, girls with abusive fathers date abusive men in adulthood, girls with submissive fathers date submissive men, etc.

But it seems to me that girls will often fall back onto patterns established around the time of puberty; ie: their "high school years". Since this is the time when girls really begin to feel male attention as an ongoing presence, and come to see themselves as sexual beings, with the ability to arouse desire in men (and, perhaps, in certain women).

In my own experience, I've seen girls I've dated act out female-male dynamics that have roots in their pubescent years (12-16 seems to be the recurring age range with the most influence). But I've noticed those same girls act different around their fathers than they do around me. It seems more like they're trying to recreate 'playground' relationships rather than 'father-daughter' relationships-- only adulthood introduces extra layers of complexity on top of the original imprinted behaviors.

What do you think? Please vote and comment!