Search Results: how far he can push me away

Iv never really been close with my mother, she just has never given me much attention at all, not even a hug or a kiss let alone a conversation unless it was in the company of a stranger or friend than she would give off a fake form of affection that she would never give to me away from other peoples eyes. This is something I really hate because it makes me seem like the one who is in the wrong if I say she acts like a bitch to me because people will only see the nice side of her which I feel she does so she doesn’t get a bad name.

For the few times she would speak to me out of necessity, it would only be aggressively and shouting unless someone who we didn’t know was there. It is impossible to be able to have or start a conversation with her because she would always be instantly dismissive to not carry on a conversation or shout at me and turn it into an argument and be negative about me.

I am a nice guy but she would always push and push me as far as I can go, she would bring out something negative about me and moan about it until I get upset because I always try to not let it get to me but she won't stop till it does, she is middle ages which I feel may be one of the reasons why she doesn’t learn from how she acts, she is too old to change and she lacks empathy for me, she is just always bitter and disrespectful but I can’t even make her change because she won't ever speak to me and she will just argue with me about it until I get angry and shout back as a last resort and than she won't speak to me for days.

I feel that because growing up I had no attention given to me it has rubbed off in my personality, I am now highly insecure of myself and am really careful as to not say the wrong thing to people. I'm shy and I think I may be a bit too needy because I try to get the affection I have never got myself from a girl which to girls is a problem. The way my mum has made me feel over the years used to send me into depression because I have no other family but her, when I finish my studies I don’t think I will want to see her again but she would just than complain that I don’t see her...

I'm curious if any girls would date a guy that had been through this and wanted so much affection. Would it be a problem for you?

Also she would call me gobby face when I was depressed because of her and blame it on me as to why I was depressed until I pretend I am OK again