2 years later, after thinking I was over him, I suddenly can't get him out of my mind.

[Anonymous]

Here's the deal. Two years ago to the day actually, my ex ended it with me. We were utterly compatible, he was me in another body, everything was great, he was making plans for both the near and far future, then the day before our anniversary and 5 days before my birthday he broke up with me. Needless to say it broke me apart. 6 months later I emailed him to tell him I still felt for him, he told me, in so many words, to get over him, pushed me away, said he only broke up with me because I could never please him and his family as we weren't the same European cultures. He's passionate about what he is, as am I about my own roots. He told me that he would have married me, had children with me, but we couldn't have the life HE wanted, completely entrenched in his culture...so he had to end it before he got too attached. After that, it was downhill for me, I dropped out of University and actually left the country for 2 months, I went to Europe to think. Then I came back and jumped into a relationship and was never happier...except with my ex that is. However my love for my ex became resentment, when I saw him I wasn’t myself. I was rude and would do anything to hurt him, pour beer on him at a club, and many other things...he only knew about the beer tho! I tried to offer an olive branch half a year after that...he declined, full of resentment for me now. So I left him alone again for many months. Then at our Uni, he gets on a packed bus with his friend and stands behind where I am sitting and proceeds to talk about me, I had headphones in mind u, but wasn’t listening to any music. He says some nice things, he says some cruel things. I email him to tell him he is pathetic for making fun of me behind my back after 2 years. He tells me to get over it, and calls me by his nickname for me...then blocks me. I got over it but now I can't stop thinking about him. I cry every day, I miss him immensely, I dream of him every night. You probably think I’m crazy but I've really only told you the bad things. Behind that is a tapestry of a loving relationship filled with kind deeds and words, love and passion, passion I know both of us have never felt before or after. He’s dated one girl since me for 2 months...irrelevant I know. I don’t know what I'm asking you all, maybe why am I felling this longing after so long, or maybe what it means or what I should do about it? I'm still with the man I met after him, but because of these feeling for my ex feel myself pulling away slowly...please help me out.

Updates

+1 y

And I'm not pinning for him because its the anniversary of our breakup...I simply couldn't stop dreaming about him like a month ago, and now can't stop thinking about our times together and how much I miss him, but also how I behaved after we separated...

[Ala303]

Hey girl,

I have seen some girls that were in love but... gees... you are so crazy about him! I know you love him, you miss him and all. And I won't tell you to stop doin it, cause its not possible to just switch it off. Don't think about what does he want, be selfish and think about your future. Lets say that you would marry him... stay with him for the rest of your life... but he will never please you! Because you don't please him either... I mean... You don't see some reason why he doesn't worth this craziness. You think he loves you? No, he doesnt. Do you want to be with someone that is pushing you away, that hates you? If he doesn't love you, he probably don't like something about you. Why would you want someone like that? Just think about it.

Tell me how do you feel right now?

[Asker]

You make sense, but I'm not going agree with him hating me, he's never said it...but then again I can't read his mind. Our break up was reversed when it came to our emotions, he was the one bawling, I was the angry one...he kept saying I don't want to I have to...i suppose the unfinished business between us is what hurts, I guess Ill love him and miss him for now than for some reason ill hate him later...its a cycle thatll never end cuase neither of us lets it...

[Ala303]

But sometimes when you try to say to your lover that you're braking up with him, you suddenly realize that you still have feelings for him or her. But it isn't love. Of course you like him but you don't like him enough to continue with your relationship. And then you don't want to hurt him or her, so you say things like: "I don't want to, but I have to. " But that actually means: " I don't want to hurt you, but I have to tell you that this isn't working."

I think that this is that case...

[redpepper]

I know how you feel.I'm in that situation too. He said he love me but can't forgive me. Yes you sound crazy cause you're still hoping that what you had would flourish again. You feel like this because you are not adequate but it's him who is making you feel like that. Those are the people who thinks they are better than others and they like the attention. And since he knows you're like head over heels crazy for him. You gave him the ball to toss you around. It's hard to let go but as time passes by you'll eventually see why It didn't work. I know it's a cliche but if a person truly loves you, it will be unconditional. Pure like the mother and child love.

[enlightenment]

I'm not even sure what you question is to be honest...but its time to move on...and I think realize that your rebound was a rebound. he obviously isn't making you happy if you feel like this about your ex. Get rid of the current guy...he is holding you back just like you were holding your ex back (in his eyes at least)

[Tdieseler]

Everyone gets that fall back feeling when they've had a good relationship...its moving on that's the hard part...

I honestly think you are both acting childish, trying to get back at each other for something that's ended..you said it yourself, you were happy when you came back from europe...stop comparing..if you feel the one that you have now doesn't compare to the one with the European..you are going to ruin the current one..besides no matter how much alcohol and gossiping you do to the European..its never gonna beat how crappy he will feel when he sees you happy as hell with your new man...