Search Results: comes to me after every break-up

Okay, so there is this guy that I had a cute and minor crush on in high school, and I recently saw him at my work. (It’s a small town, and I work at the grocery store) We were acquaintances. I wanted to message him on Facebook , but saw he had a very possessive girlfriend, and decided I wouldn’t meddle or anything.


It is interesting timing because then on Monday he broke up with his girlfriend (of a year I believe) because she moved away. I know this because he posted a very sad post on FB and changed his profile pic, etc.

So opportunity is prime I guess, I want to message him. Would “Hey man, I hope you’re doing okay, I saw your post. I know we weren’t close, but if you ever need an ear” be good or is this just setting myself up for awkward obviousness about where I’m coming from, and associating me with his ex? What should I say? How long should I wait? There is no other way to see or communicate with him. He comes into my work once every six months, and I’m sure he’d be taken by then. I’m not saying I want to jump into anything with him, but getting back on the friendship wagon to kind of build from there is what I’m going for.

I can't believe I fell in love with this guy, he was my boyfriend and I was reading a lot about narcissism & he matches a lot of the info. I guess sadly we all have to have bad experiences in life. Its been more than a year & I still feel love for him but hate him too because he treats me like dirt. We had a long distance relationship at first, he was so sweet, charming, good looking. He made me feel so special/important, said he couldn't live without me. I brokeup with him & I didn't mean too its just the ldr was hard for me I couldn't see him much. He said he understands but continues to hurt me. He had many failed relationships before, he refers women to bitches/hoes on his fb statuses never to my face. After the breakup I did everything to try get him back, I was proving my love for him, wanted to travel far where he was to be with him. He just let me go & didn't fight for us. then he started looking for other girls right away. I told him many times how much he hurt me Because he ignores me alot, how I cry & can't sleep then he says sorry, promises he won't do it again then does it. he's happy when I'm depressed & broken, he's angry when I'm happy and moving on. that's not love at all:(. how can I be in trouble for caring about him?. No one else hurts me only him. He even had broken friendships and family problems. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions and blames others. Has problems with drugs, & drinks alot. His dad was the same as him & had a suicide. Guess he had a bad childhood, he gets into fights with ppl, told me he's in a gang. Every picture he has is him and he keeps saying he so good looking, etc. very selfish boy. He just gives me the silent treatment I don't even deserve it. Other people console me when I'm hurt, even my other ex boyfriend lol. I wrote him a very long page love letter but nothing. he even posted a YouTube video saying "im a monster". he gets his friends to spy on me on fb lol, or talk to me sometimes. if I ignore him even for 10 min he gets so mad. He disappears for many months, years but comes back when he feels like it then hurts me again. I'm gonna ignore his ass like crazy. has anger issues. he didn't even thank me for his birthday wish but I thanked him for mine I almost didn't.

does he sound like a narcissist?

It's been over a year since I've started seeing this man. He is now 40 and I am 39. After a couple of breakups, the last one being in October, we reconciled and he said that the "fog had lifted" and that he truly loved me but hadn't been able to see that before. The "perfect" person was in front of him all this time and it took him this long to see it. OK, that seemed like it was good.

I have trust issues with him and likely stemming back to when he was still on POF and sites like that up until I called him out on it. He went and deleted all profiles in front of me - at his insistence.

It is WRONG but he knows that I did it, I checked the history on his computer. Nothing really there. But while on the internet, I went to log on to FB and he was auto-logged in. I checked the messages which was so wrong on my part. A message from a former girlfriend (or fling) who lives 1000 miles away. They talked about how it would have been nice to have pursued what they had. Turns out he booked a flight for his two daughters and himself to go home (to where this woman is at). He went there for his 40th birthday. They talked about getting together. She said something to the effect, "wouldn't that be cheating?" He said, "ya it is but I couldn't come this far and not see you".

He begged me to go with him but I couldn't take time off work. He texted every single day, several times a day, phoned often etc. I had a feeling he met up with her but don't think anything happened though. When I asked him about this message (before he left), he said he didn't know what she meant by cheating...

When he got home, he brought several gifts for me and the following Monday, he bought me a car. Yes, I needed one but really...a bit extreme. He said it was for my 40th in June. When I told him that I could never thank him enough, he said, "just be secure in our relationship". He said he would never take another holiday without me ever again.

We see each other just about every day and definitely talk every day. He tells me he loves me, talks about adding on to the house. Then he'll drop it for a while. Then he's "on" again but tonight he was somewhat off.

What the h*ll is wrong with me? Why do I still get that nagging feeling...? Someone please help me get past this nagging insecurity. I fee like I am plan B until someone better comes along..

Thank you.