Search Results: lost interest when i found out she had a boyfriend

I'm 23 and never had a boyfriend. The search is unsuccessful. In hs, I wasn't really noticed much. I was very reserved and lacked confidence. Still do. Didn't get asked out till my senior year through a friend of a friend. And then another one did. But I was too scared and didn't want to go through with it.

In college, I was taking courses primarily online. In my lecture courses, guys didn't really pay me any mind. I'm still taking my Bachelors degree online. And I've never really had many friends. I'm alone and feel pathetic/inexperienced.

I've lost weight to feel better about myself and attract a good looking guy. But either I'm not their type/don't show interest. I place so much emphasis on finding a boyfriend because I'm so insecure about myself and feel a relationship validates one attractiveness. As unhealthy as that sounds. Is that normal?

I don't think I come across as desperate. I'm very quiet and don't talk much. I am not abrasive by any means. I've tried online and it usually goes no where. They either want sex or it fizzles out. I feel I am going to end up alone. It's not so easy to just put yourself out there though.

If they say loves finds you, why hasn't it found me and everyone else's I know in my age group? I don't try anymore.