Search Results: being fresh

In 2012 I met this great girl and we went out couple of times. I thought she liked me but I never made a move, since I was young , stupid and recovering from being cheated by my ex. didn't really trust women and just a thought of putting myself in a position where someone could hurt me again was terrifying. Not asking her out is something I regret very much.

But we stayed in contact and flirted a lot , but were never again in the same city, she helped me a lot during my depression. But 7 months ago her inconsistent responding started to irritate me and I was having a rough patch again and I did a stupid thing off blowing things out of proportion. I wanted her in my life, even just as a friend, but at times it seemed like a one way road and then something snapped in me, deciding , no more regrets! I admitted how I felt for her. And she told me she had a boyfriend and then I realised, I´m not her friend, I knew how relationships are important to her and she didn't tell me, I wasn't in her inner circle like she was in mine and that hurted and that conversation ended very ugly.

Today I´m great, I pulled all my shit together and I´m moving to a new city in a new country, fresh start, just what I need. But as my flight nears I can't stop thinking about this, I once let a bad thing from past influence me, I dont want it to happen again. I have this big need to end it well, to send her a text to thank her for helping me and that I´m sorry how it ended and explain why I behaved that way.

The only thing stoping me is;I dont want to wake ghost from the past. This would make ME feel better, but what impact would it have on her, is it selfish from me, to take it out off my system and out off nowhere just hit her with it?
I dont want to reconnect, I just... I just hate how it ended and she is and always will be very special to me, she helped me a lot with my fear regarding dating and getting cheated again.

So, should I do this or not?
thanks for reading I know it was a bit long