Search Results: new year's eve kiss

Looks like I'm an idiot.

I've been in this relationship for three and a half years now. We'll call my boyfriend A. We are happy. Always been best friends, always told the truth to each other, never had to lie.
But this guy came. Let's call him R. R and A work in the same office.
R and I got to talk on new year's eve and that was when somthing clicked.
We talked a few days after new year's eve during my nightshift (talked all night) ended up sexting, talking about life and eventually going to his place in the morning when my shift ended because I was feeling guilty.(see? Told you I was an idiot) but nothing happened. Not even a kiss.
We continued to talk. He gets me excited, giddy, butterflyes. R is the bad boy. Like real bad boy with scars, tattoos, real life gangster like you see in the movies with italian mafia (we are a latin country fyi-not important).
A is the perfect boyfriend. Caring, loving, gentle, and all that jazz. He even know what i'm doing with R and told me to do whatever makes me happy, regardless of his feelings. And it breaks my heart.

The problem is the next: all my life i've been attracted by R's type. The player, the dangerous type, the one who has all the girls. Why? Don't know. Me and R kissed one time after a short date. And it was brief. Since then he's been more responsive.
But I don't want to cheat on A because I believe that I still love him...
R is seeing several other girls and isn't afraid of admitting it.
One more thing. All this thing started from my ambition of making him fall for me. He is a guy who doesn't care for others and doesn't love. I wanted to make him fall for me. The way he talk to me is the same he talk to the others. I want to make him fall in love so I can move on and be happy with my boyfriend. Also, R. Made things clear. He wants to have sex with me. And that turns me on. Feel free to tell me how stupid I am.

I just had to get that out of my system and ask for advice. Please help.

Thank you!