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I just recently created a post where I asked why some men will claim to be trapped by pregnancy when they engage in unprotected sex. Got into a heated exchange with a gent who took everything I said and twisted it around because he wanted so much not to accept responsibility for his own choices.

Like, he asked about what if an individual was in a monogamous relationship and didn't want to use condoms -- to which I said condoms should be used until ready to have a kid -- for a host of reasons.

While we would all love to trust our partners to say people are incapable of certain actions is silly, even well intended persons could alter their behavior for a host of reasons.

My thing was--if I knew that I could pay for the rest of my life for one mistake--I would be double wrapping it if I was a guy. If I chose not to, then I would have to say “Welp--there yah go…”

Life does not always hand us the most pleasant of outcomes or people with good intentions.

My examples were to make the individual understand that they should always take personal responsibility for their own bodies and their own destiny, male or female.

Like INVICTUS we are all masters of our own fates and the captains of our souls!

And this in all aspects of life.

So many people blame the world for their choices when they were just that--choices.

While we can be tricked or wronged, it is how we choose to react that makes a difference between who we are and the path we travel in life.

How many women get wronged by playahs and assume all men are dogs? How many men get stung by a shallow beauty queen and make girls pay for it for years?

I have had a rough life, but I swore I would always remain open to love. It was a struggle and like most I had my baggage--I acknowledged it and worked on it and now have the best relationship in the world with a great man and an amazing life.

But I had to accept responsibility for ALL of my choices, even in situations where I was wronged. I had to own it and release it.

Today, all I see is finger pointing, blame games and hate--which is why I strive so hard to point out what BOTH SIDES of the battle are doing--if we can see how we contribute to the war, maybe we can stop, have a dialogue and affect change--but only if we are willing to look in the mirror and see where we too , can change.