10 Common Sense Pieces of Relationship Advice

I'm not wise...... I've just had my fair share of epic fails. This is the advice that we all need at some point in time, but are afraid to give or receive.

1. For those who struggle with being clingy.

Trust me, I know clingy. I'm a wet rag, then I dated one even more soaking wet than I was. It was awful. However I've learned something through my trials and errors. The right person appreciates your level of affection, understands it, needs it, and would get confused if you tried to change your ways on them.

If you're being too clingy, and your partner is complaining about it.. it might be time to consider if you're really right for each other.

2. To those controlling freaks out there.

I would say, about 90% of the control issue in your life comes from your insecurities. I would say that 100% of your jealousy comes from the same place. If you feel the need to micro manage their life, it's because you're worried what will happen to them when they get away from you to think. You're afraid that they're going to go out there and find someone else better for them than you are.
"Realize that you're the one they want.. I mean, they are dating you after all."
The solution to this, realize that you're the one they want.. I mean, they are dating you after all. Once you realize that they are with you for a reason, a specific one, you'll start feeling more secure in the relationship, and BAM the need to control them will slowly melt away.

3. Oh my god, is it too soon to say the L- word?!

No. It's not. The only time it's too early to say the L-Word is when you're not sure you mean it. If you mean it, say it.. and if they get scared away by it, they didn't deserve it.

4. I think he's cheating on me.

Okay, first of all, if you've got enough of a gut instinct that you're talking to your friends about it, he probably is.. because honestly, we all deny it until it basically punches in the face. So break up with him.. he's cheating, leave him.

Secondly, if you're afraid he's cheating, and he's not.. you should probably leave him anyway because you obviously have no faith in him, you don't trust him, and that's just not a healthy relationship.. For more advice on this topic, reread number 2. You have security issues.

5. Is it too soon to have sex?

My advice, if you can't say the words, "cum," "orgasm," "condom," or direct them to what body part and action would best please you, you're not comfortable enough with them to have sex. In my firm opinion, if you can't say the vocabulary without freaking out, and if you're not ready to talk about how you would handle an STD or unplanned pregnancy with this person, it's too soon. You both should be ready and prepared for a worst case scenario. Think you're ready?

Try this first: Get naked in front of them and say, "I would like to provide you with an orgasm that will cause you to cum all over the place, and if I "get pregnant" or "get an STD" we'll be able to handle it through *insert plan you two have devised here.* When you can say that without freaking out and getting all red in the face, laughing is completely acceptable, as long as they laugh with you... you're ready.. pull out your protection and go for it!

6. I want them back, how do I do it?!

Okay, if you dumped them, you're an idiot who doesn't deserve them.. and if you dumped them for cheating/being controlling/being jealous/ you're an idiot who is a glutton for punishment. I will not help you start this train wreck all over again.

If they dumped you, they obviously don't care about you as much as you want them too, and who wants to go on with life chasing someone who doesn't love them.. (I've been there, done that, and had the hangovers to prove it.. it's not fun..) It'll take time to move on, but walk away. Leave with your pride, chasing them around forever will only make you feel worse about yourself.
"There is no "oops" allowance out there!"
7. I like them, a lot, but they are with someone else.

Do not, under any circumstances break them up. That is unfair, and karma will only kick you in the face for it later. Be their friend and trust that if it's meant to happen, it'll eventually happen. End of conversation.

8. How do I get over somebody?

Chocolate, bubble baths, burning of their personal items.. and most importantly TIME. During this said time, you should find a hobby, flirt with people you think and know are way out of your league, and do all the things that you love that pissed them off... The happier you are alone, the more people will be drawn to you. Misery loves company, but happiness is the breeding ground for love.

9. I cheated on my significant other, but I still love them, what do I do?!

First of all, they're going to find out, so don't even bother hiding it from them... Secondly, you leave them. You leave them, because they deserve someone who loves them so much that their body cannot even fathom the idea of getting that close to someone else's... There is no "oops" allowance out there. If you really love them, leave them for someone who will be better for them.

10. I'm still screwing around with my ex, is that okay?

I mean, I'm over them and everything..: LIAR. Stop right now, or I will punch you. I too am guilty of this crime and I can honestly say that every time I did it, it made them harder and harder to get over...

Stop screwing around with your ex, at least go out to a bar and find a stranger... I mean honestly, break ups are hard enough.. don't let yourself get stuck in that cycle of jealousy that is the friends with benefits with your ex ordeal... IT NEVER WORKS

I know some of this was hard to hear/read, but honestly, it's what we all need to hear sometimes.. so do yourself a favor, recommend this article to a friend the next time he or she calls you at midnight for advice.. it might just save you an hour or two of sleep.
10 Common Sense Pieces of Relationship Advice
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Standingpretty
    I loved this article, and it was amazing. Thanks for righting it. The only thing I disagree with is the karma part-my ex cheated on me than dumped me and now he's in a happy relationship and I've been faking happiness since the whole thing ended. That's not the only reason I believe in karma but I think it's a pretty good one.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • HerBeautifulBoy
    All this makes so much sense to me yet when I relay it in a blunt way to girls on this site I get my head bitten off. Espec the advice about cheaters and exes. Is it cos I'm a guy girls can't admit I'm right even though it has nothing to do with battle of the sexes and I try to help people?!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • jeniilove
    Wow. #2 was all I needed to hear.

    I almost skipped it...but I like to have control of my feelings, which is why I never let guys get close enough to even start a relationship. there's a guy. and then bam. he's gone...

    this time...i let one in -- and I'm up and down -- because of me, not him.

    i start thinking of ways to push him -- but by the next morning I realize I don't even have a reason.

    he's great. let's see what happens... :)
  • armyant
    "4. I think he's cheating on me: Okay, first of all, if you've got enough of a gut instinct that you're talking to your friends about it.. he probably is.. because honestly, we all deny it until it basically punches in the face. So break up with him.. he's cheating, leave him"

    If you've got a gut instinct that he's cheating, he probably is, so break up with him? Hahaha, sorry, but this advice is absolute balls.
  • missing-him
    Ok so I enjoyed reading this but I have a question about #10 .. so if I'm still screwing around with my ex then why does that mean I automatically still have feelings for him? if its just assumed that when you hook up with an ex that you still have feelings for that person wouldn't that mean he still has feelings for me since it takes two to tango?
  • BubblesOfTheNight
    The clingy advice... I think it depends what it's operating on. If a person is clingy out of insecurity, then that is awful advice because they won't change it because they don't recognize the source of the clinginess, they might assume the partner doesn't deserve (assuming they take your advice) and it becomes an obsession. If the person is simply clingy because they are naturally affectionate, then yes, it's better to have someone who appreciates that. Most of the advice is sound though.
  • Mande1985
    I think this is wonderful advice.. especially #1.. I am not saying I'm clingy.. but I know I showered my partners with lots more attention than they are use too.. or I ask for more attention than they can give. I have found someone that gives me just as much attention as I give.. and they love it as well do I. So, #1 hit it right on the nail. Good job!
  • amhc168
    fair enough...but so what do you do when you date your best friend? My advice to everyone #11, never date your best friend! or any of your close friends for that matter unless you know you will marry them, and by that I mean ring-on-finger situation. Sucks to break up with your best-friend!
  • forever
    I have questions on number 2. What if they are with you just for the sake of being in a relationship? Another question will be what if it's more to thinking they gonna break up with you not worrying they gonna find someone better?
  • lily_annon
    Thank you so much for this haha #1 and #2 hit right on the nail and I already know this is something I need to work on...it sucks and I'm trying so hard! haha but the feelings are always there!
  • toulouse
    Wow. this is the first one of these things I actually agree with 100%.

    especially #1. #2. #3. and all the rest ;-) and #5 was hilarious and I absolutely agree.

    good job ;-)
  • katamac
    I av a question- please don't shout I'm scared of you! :) no really I like ur article.

    I started sleeping with this guy who was showering me with attention (yawn I know) but it only happened when I was ready. He told me he didn't want a relationship and I didn't think I did at the time so I agreed to 'friends with benefits' (ouch) oh and he was my flatmate! Anyways I found dirty msgs on his phone and I was distraught, after a while I forgave him. We didn't see each other for a week at xmas
  • arisato-
    I hope that everyone not only reads this, but actually takes it to heart. Harsh truth, but important lessons to learn.
  • t-a-l
    Very well written, I'm sending it to my friend as I type. Hopefully she'll take number one to heart.
  • ArtistBboy
    Amazing... I read it all and then printed it out - now I have colored it in and its in the mail to my ex.

    Great advice man
  • ActingOnInstinct
    This is incredible - #2 hit me the hardest. I'm a control freak, and it's definitely due to my own insecurities.
  • TheGodEmperorLeto
    You missed one easy one that trumps them all


    But ya, I agree entirely with this, nice list :D
  • jerseyse410
    The clingy advice was great and overall this was a wonderful article
  • FitnessKat
    Wow, this has definitely helped out with a lot of the questions I had! Thanks AlyssMaddigan! :)
  • MayRawr
    on #7...doesn't she deserve to know?...i don't wanna break them up but he'll never tell
  • ttlynotobsessed
    This is amazing. I want to print it out and hang it on my wall. Thanks darling, so much.
  • anonthechick
    Loved 5. perfect way to put it, sounds like my mother. :D
  • shequita30
    I LOVE THIS! you are so dead on! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • ajportbury
    Best article I've ever read. Kudos to you.
  • crabbo7
    Thanks for all especially 1 3 and 5
  • MightyHeart
    Nr.10 hit me^^ Thanks
  • mmgood313
    Thank you!
  • ISmile
    Some of this really made me think :) Good job
  • meghan19
    This whole thing is so true. wow.
  • rdabby
    Number 2 hit me in the face.