Search Results: feeling so disconnected

If you had to chose between these two guys who would you chose?

Guy #1 The Recent Ex :
Pros:
He's seen me at rock bottom and stuck around (I had a psychotic break and he pushed me through it)
Five years older and has more life experience and helps figure out things like taxes and mortgages w me
Is okay with a hangout being me napping at him place after night shift
Same interests
No topic of conversation is off limits
There's two years of history
The sex is 12/10
He's willing to fight for me
Considers me the most important person in his life
Makes me laugh

Negatives:
His communication skills go out the window when he's stressed
He can be very self centred
Has a habit of being flaky
Depression can put him through months of feeling disconnected from the world

Guy #2 The Rebound w Potential
Pros:
Super ambitious
good job
Makes me try new things
Healthy lifestyle
has his shit together
Always wants to spend time together
Family and friends know him
Wants a serious relationship
Makes me laugh
Really good people skills, I could take him as a date anywhere
Loves to show me off

Negatives:
Moving way too fast emotionally
Slightly clingy
Always on the move not okay w just chilling in quiet
I don't know him that well yet
Couple kinks in bed that make me uncomfortable
Has an illness that may cut his life short
Not willing to talk about issues in life, almost too positive

I am currently single until I figure out what I want to do but I'm stuck between two amazing guys and I seriously am so confused rn

I broke up with my ex a few months ago and he said we will remain good friends. However, it was a short-term relationship but I miss him a lot. I’ve been single since and at the time, the break-up felt like a good idea. I persisted that we were disconnected in a way and he disregarded this reality, presuming this was due to my anxiety. After I brought it to his attention once and for all, he finally concurred and we came to the conclusion we were better off as friends. We don’t speak often like we said we would. And we only contact one another through social media through likes on posts and images. I feel I am responsible for the break-up. However, he says that I am not the only person behind the break-up and he would have come to this conclusion eventually too, even if I did not bring it to his attention. I feel so hurt and thought I’d be over it and him, but I don’t speak to him because I fear he found someone new or it will initiate old feelings more strongly. I am going to move on and do what I can to move past this. But I still feel the break-up is my fault.