Search Results: too close or too distant

I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 months. He seemed very interested in me at first. Texted, arranged dates, called me every other day. Had sex early on into the relationship... probably at around date 5. Every date that we’ve had has gone really good. We’ve gone on about 8 or 9 dates. He started to get very busy with work and our dates started to become every so often his schedule aligned with mine. We worked around his busy schedule.

He went away to visit a close family member overseas for a week and communication pretty much went downhill. He snapped me once every other day, but posted on his story. He also left me on ’open’ several times—meaning that he did not respond to me. Once on his trip he wanted to sext, I turned that down because I’m not about that especially when you chose to ignore my messages.

He recently came back from his trip and hasn’t at all made the effort to see how I am doing. No questions about how my week went, no reasons for why he could message me for a whole week. I asked him how his trip was via text and got bland responses in return.

From what I have gathered from him/his behavior, he is either too busy to date or uninterested in me so that being said... here is what I think I should do (5 plausible options):

#1 Break it off/friend-zone him: Text him that I am not going to be a side-priority that he will pursue on his terms... and because of that, we should stay friends (if even that)
#2 Tell him that I want a serious relationship with someone who values me and doesn’t put me on-hold
#3 Ask him if he wants to go out this week, and if he feels hesitant, go to option #2
#4 Only ask him if he wants to go out this week and if he says no (or shows any hesitancy): he ain’t the one, or if he says yes then I will tell him in person how I feel
#5 Ask him what is wrong and why he is acting distant.

This guy would be my first relationship and I feel like this guy is really special and unique... so any advice will help me :)

Witnessing the transition covid 19 pandemic, as far as all of the day to day adjustments regarding close and distant contact with Friends family S O and strangers; I feel like I get a small glimpse into How it would feel too love love and have sex ore A I D S and after. (We can include With A I D S syphilis Ghonorrea Chlamydia Herpes simplex and many other std goodies, but A I D S was most prevalent as national concern )

Sex, once being something people entered into into a lot more freely - with concerns but disease maybe not Being high on the list. Suddenly became something rather disconcerting: Should we , shouldn’t we, Wait period, can I trust you physiologically etc. Completely different world and approach to everyone in it in one lifetime. I don’t think everyone Experiences enormous shifts like that. War is smother of course. As well as liberation movements. For a while people were wirrued about touching anything and anyone near them bc there was so Much mystery surrounding everything. Eventually the myths were gradually struck down, people calmed down and Releasing their vigilant mental grip against A I D S now having a better idea what they were dealing with. You can’t get it from spot or washing hands it touching un lacerated skin. Etc

Well we are in a similar situation - romantically- with covid 19 though its more Challenging in ways bc we have to deal with air droplets skin context and saliva exchange. ~~~ Forget about sex!!~~try making out without any of those ingredients 😎

Now maybe for very young people IF they grow up having to test blood before scoring first base, it will seem normal. But for people who grew up walking into a bar and leaving With a hook up, kissing a date a sweet good night as an indication you are happy with the way things are progressing and would like to continue getting acquainted—This huge potential shift in what “ cautious” means will be very disorienting
(continued*)

So I am a girl and I have a friend nearly 20 years older. We have become close recently. I am bisexual and her behaviour confuses me a bit. I don't want to get mixed messages but because we are new friends, I kinda don't want to ask outright just yet about whether she is attracted/keen on me. She doesn't know I'm bi by the way. She is a big Christian too. The thing is, over the last week she has been acting distant. I posted a pic of my ex-boyfriend (who she doesn't even know about) in my Whatsapp status, she saw it and then suddenly I couldn't see her Whatsapp profile pic within 30 minutes of doing that.

Anyhoo, basically
1) I have caught her just staring at me, for no reason.
2) We were standing next to each other to get a group picture and I held her hand above my shoulder and she took it away and put it tightly around my waist (don't know if that is a good or bad thing). When I turned to her to say something, she was a bit flustered and red in the face.
3) When I speak to her, she watches my mouth sometimes and looks at my chest. I find this odd considering I'm sitting right next to her and watch her do it. 4) She checks my WhatsApp statuses quite often. 5) I told her my friends are the only people who get my jokes and she got upset and said, "what about me? I laugh at you all the time."