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I genuinely have no idea, I know we're all human and nobody is perfect, however I think there are some aspects of his personality that seem to be abusive and I wanted to see if people agreed.

So, my dad is critical and negative. He's critical towards himself, and of those around him too. He has a very strict guideline of how things should be, and has a limited ability to see things from anothers perspective, though he claims to be liberal and open minded. It's like he goes into every situation assuming he's right, they're wrong.

He's one of those people that seems to have a dark cloud over his head no matter where he goes... his favorite quote is, "life is suffering" and I've grown up hearing that. I feel bad for him because I know he likely has depression, but he's judgmental of therapists and mental health in general so he's never gotten treatment.

The problem is he is very controlling, and I've started to notice it more and more as he ages. The one thing is does that makes me feel like shit is he belittles me and treats me like a child (I am 27 and financially responsible for myself). When I mention traveling or going somewhere, he says I won't be able to figure out the bus system by myself or something, and basically calls me dumb.. but I travel a lot and it always works out.

He puts me down a lot, one time he said that I "wasn't the cutest girl in the world" which might not have been a big deal to him, but it stung me and I still think about it years later. He yells at me in front of others, in public places, when he feels like I'm "disobeying him" or not respecting his opinion. It's embarrassing to be treated that way when you're an adult. He compares me to my brother and will rub it in my face if my brother is doing better than I am.

That being said, I still remember him coming to all my events when I was a kid. He paid for my college education. I have really great memories of him growing up.

Do you think he's abusive or is his behavior normal?