Search Results: she needed time to find herself

I went out with this girl a few months ago. The first three dates were amazing. But then she disappeared. We'd text once in a while but that was it
It wasn't until I wished her a merry Christmas that she started consistently talking to me. We went out the next day, and she said things got dark. After our last date, things got bad at home. She started doing bad drugs and drinking a lot. She got wrapped up with a guy who treated her bad and a bunch of other stuff.
She had gotten sober and moved home the week before we started talking. We had a wonderful time, and she told me it meant so much that I checked on her and I actually care about her. We had sex, and we talked afterwards. She wanted to get her life straight, and I'm something that's stable in her life. I told her I wanted to be with her and to make her happy.
Over the next 5 days, she cancelled 2 dates. Thinking I wasn't going to see her again, I texted her that I wanted to be there for her. I was falling in love with her, and I think she needs someone who treats her like I did. Whether it was with me or not.
She said she wanted to get together to talk. But cancelled again.
She said she was gonna be too busy with work to make our schedules meet. She said I'm a great person, and I'd make someone so happy. But it couldn't be with her. She said she needed to work on herself. She wanted to be single and get her life together. She said maybe we can try again when that time comes.
I apologized for dumping my feelings on her. And said I hope we get another chance. She said she just needs to find who she is.
I don't understand why she didn't tell me sooner. Was she debating letting me go? Was she just trying to avoid it? I'm heartbroken and confused.

hey, so i got my schedule and like i'm just gonna be really busy for the next few days, so I don't know when we'll really find a time that works for both of us... so I thought i'd just message you what I was gonna say... like, I think you're a really great guy, and you're definitely going to make somebody really happy one day, but it just can't be me... i just don't want a relationship right now, or honestly anytime soon.. I really wanna focus on myself for the next few years.. and I just have to be straight up about it.. you're awesome, and if you ever need a friend let me know, but that's all i'm gonna be able to be to you, a friend

I find it bizarrely weird when a woman sees a man who she may deem as effeminate and does things that seems unmanly and tells him that he needs to be a man. How can a woman say this to a man though? She has no man being experience. If a woman says this to a man when she can't be a man herself, isn't she out of line?

Sometimes women will say you need to man up and she isn't even qualified to know how to man up, yet tell men to man up. Why is this hypocritical positions so prevalent through life?

It is different when men say it to men because he actually knows the things it takes to act masculine and has man being skills as it's his sexual essence but a woman wouldn't know with her feminine essence. Even if she acts like men would, she still wouldn't know how men really act and should act and seems to do this to get back at men as an insult.

How can a woman say this to a man when she has no idea how to be a man herself? Please share your top masculine advice and what it really means when people say time to be a man or whatever!