Search Results: partner having an std

So, some context. My boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years. We moved to another state together, and we had been living together for the last year. There were a lot of things coming in between our relationship, like how we were living with my mom (awk, I know, things were complicated and we couldn't afford to live on our own yet), we didn't have the same days off so we hardly saw each other, etc. It got to the point where he only wanted me around for sex in exchange for him doing things for me like cooking dinner or driving me to work which was down the street. It didn't feel like we were a couple anymore.

About a month ago, my coworker was worried about my well-being and expressed how he always thought I was pretty and how he wanted the best for me, and it was nice hearing that from somebody at the time. I ended up inviting him over to the house while my boyfriend was at work and we did sexual things. My boyfriend ended up finding out what happened after looking through my phone and I was trying to explain why I felt the need to do that, but he wasn't believing me. I broke his trust. I owned up to what I did but he was too hurt and has been hurting ever since and it kills me. I've started therapy and got an STD test which came back negative, and I'm working on myself to become a better person, but I feel like it's too late since he already closed his heart off to me.

TLDR: I cheated with my boyfriend of 3 years and he doesn't trust me and doesn't want to take me back. I'm having trouble moving on because he was my everything.

What should I do? Should I keep trying to fix our relationship? How can I prove to him that I've changed and I won't ever do what I did to him again after going through the pain of losing him? How can I get him to trust me again? If you've been cheated on, did you work things out with your partner? I still feel like a shitty human being, but I'm trying to fix what I did wrong.. any help or advice would be appreciated. :(

My friend and I met 3.5 years ago. He was in an open relationship. I was just coming out of a bad breakup. We were our own people with no strings attached. His girlfriend dumped him, and he was heartbroken. I was there for him, but I avoided getting attached, because we were just friends, he was moving out of state in a year or so, and I was not going to be a rebound. We were having sex as friends, we both got tested fairly often, and we never fought about anything. Our dynamic was not all sex. He moved away, I thought I'd never hear from him again. Instead he flew me out to see him, and we maintained our friendship. I wondered which way this was going. We talked a few times, he said he had strong, loving feelings for me but as a close friend for life that he would always be there for. I was happy with that direction. Last year, I decided that I was looking for more. He was not an option, so I saw other people. He seemed to not be happy about that and we pulled away a bit. When we saw each other we didn't have sex, but we still enjoyed each others company. Last month I texted to say hi. Out of the blue he started talking to me in a way he never had before, and then he asked me to be his girlfriend! Needless to say, I was shocked! I didn't think he felt that way about me, and I had moved past that as ever being an option. I told him that this was something we should discuss in person. He agreed, and I booked a flight.

Monday I asked him if he would get an STD test.

He hasn't been tested since January, and he's had 4 partners since then. Two days later he completely blew up on me over it. He started ranting that he's never once asked me to get tested, and he cannot accept my lack of trust and paranoia in requesting that he get tested every time we are seeing each other. I should just trust that he can pick good people. I told him that STDs don't care about trust. It ended in him saying he never loved me in any way, I was just a good friend. What just happened?