It's time to start acting more responsibly!

[Interstate]

THIS is a Proper Expression of Love

**THIS ISN'T INTENDED TO BE CONSTRUED AS judgmental, BUT AS A WAKE-UP CALL**

Back in 2013 I screwed up and became a Daddy. After we split, I looked back at events and regretted what I did. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my daughter's life. But at the same time, she shouldn't have come in the world the way she did. She should have evolved from two MARRIED Parents who could be with her for her entire life everyday. Not two people who got careless, conceived her then ended up going their separate ways. Now I know a lot of you are going to start commenting on this calling me a hypocrite for all the posts where I come down hard on people for their sex-related posts and questions. BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHY I DO IT.

Lets start with this site. There is a post on here entitled, "Did You Know You Can Sue Someone Over Herpes?" It basically is an example of Sex + Without Protection = an STD. Fortunately, it is one that can be treated and she can move on with life. But what if more comes of it? More specifically...IT TAKES IT'S TOLL ON A WOMAN'S BODY FOR NINE MONTHS. These are the situations that the Big Guy upstairs CONSTANTLY throws us red flags about; Telling us to knock this shit off and keep our clothes on until we finally Marry the Prince or Princess that was destined for us. Just because we enter into a relationship with somebody doesn't warrant the o.k. to be careless.

Take my daughter for example...she went to live with her Mom, who turned out to be a piece of shit and let the RIGHT person into her apartment at the RIGHT time. They contacted C.Y.S and in an instant, she and her half Brother were placed into the care of a very loving Mennonite family in a neighboring town. Amber kept her apartment in ABSOLUTELY DEPLORABLE condition. My Daughter ended up with pneumonia and Amber, the most useless and worthless piece of shit that can be called a Mother, purposely never bothered to administer her the medication prescribed to my Daughter. "Mommy of the Year" played favorites between her and the half Brother, just because of who his Daddy was. Well in the long run, the Mennonite family adopted both kids.

The point I am making is it is time everyone gets their shit together, their head out of their ass and begin making more responsible choices. And one example of that is the term "SEXUAL PARTNERS"; You are just presenting yourself as "Easy". A relationship CAN and WILL survive without Intercourse, if the relationship is meant to last. There are ways of expressing love towards each other without having to use sex to exhibit it.

For those of you who are active with Dating, it is inevitable you will experience TEMPTATION; There ARE ways of fighting and overcoming it. Yes there is Prayer, but there is also the ability to say to yourself, "I'm NOT going to do, I am going to be responsible.".

But get out there, meet people and WIN THAT CRUSH OVER with a date they will never forget!! One that doesn't involve getting a painful infection or a nine month and 18 yr responsibility that mandates his/her own budget.

SEE YOU OUT IN THE COMMUNITY EVERYONE!!!

[Anonymous]

Here's a better message for the guys. Don't get a woman pregnant. EVER!

Either put on a condom EVERY TIME or, better yet, just always fuck them in the ass.

But DO NOT get a woman pregnant, because you as a father with have ZERO rights, and you will have put yourself at the mercy of today's low value, heartless women.

You deserve better. Put yourself first and don't ever let yourself get in a position where a woman can fuck up your life the way this woman did this guy's life.

Sorry bro, I feel for you, but let's keep it real.

[Interstate]

Thank you, I genuinely appreciate that!!

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO, man. Best of luck to you in all of this.

[Interstate]

Thank you. and you are welcome. I was fortunate, in the respect that I was able to go through the Dept. of Viral Statistics in New Castle, PA to get a fresh copy of the birth certificate with MY name on it. Oh yeah! Baby mamma DELIBERATELY kept my name of the Birth Certificate. But I had it amended so my name would be on it and I would have rights. I guarantee you she was PIIIIISSED!!! But it served her right. For three months I had always put her first. But even her own Mom said to me, "Amber does what Amber wants" 🙄

[Opinion Owner]

Wow, sorry to hear that bro. Amber sounds like a real bitch. I'm glad you were able to take matters into your hands and get your name on the birth certificate. That is huge!

This all just underscores the lack of rights men have in all of this. A woman can get pregnant by a guy and LEGALLY never tell him he has a child walking around in the world.

Or, she can wait until the child is 10 and then tell him and legally force him to pay child support, even though she has robbed him of the first ten years of his child's life, something he can never get back.

It's despicable how women have the legal right to abuse the fathers of their children, sometimes even men who AREN'T actually the fathers of their children.

Anyway, good on you for fighting back and taking what is rightfully yours.

[Interstate]

Not to mention the fact that a Woman can wait 10 years (as you said), then come time for the hearing with Domestic Relations... they can back charge you from the time the kid is BORN, to present day. They could have done that to me, but the officer only ordered me to pay $100 /a month, which is the MINIMUM in Pennsylvania.

[Opinion Owner]

True! Glad it worked out okay for you.

[Interstate]

@Opinion Owner 👍

[Flower7]

I wish I had never had sex before marriage.

[Interstate]

I wasn't sure what kind of responses I would get from this post.

[Guy13]

Talk about learning a lesson the hard way. It took a lot of balls to pen this. Thanks.

[humpbackjack]

So how much money are you sending the adoptive parents a month for supporting your kid and dude did the mother suddenly become a piece of shit when you were done with her really just because you’ve changed doesn’t mean it wasn’t you that made those choices and just because you pray for forgiveness doesn’t mean everyone should forget who you are or were and where were you when YOUR daughter was sick sounds like you’re just as bad as mom. I did a lot of fucked up shit when I was young and I don’t expect everyone to just forget about it I was at an accountable age when I did I knew the difference between right and wrong and I’m ashamed of some of the things I did in the past and I never bailed on my babies I went straight from a convict to a dad so does that make me better than you

[Interstate]

She was OFFICIALLY adopted out. I lost Parental rights and so did P. O. S Mom. I never knew until after my Daughter was born just HOW MUCH of a p. o. s she was. By that point, she up and broke things off and moved back home. Ever since we found out we were pregnant, she was always making up excuses to break up. It was obvious it was just because she wanted pregnant.

Growing up, she was never made to have to do anything, and her Mom never held her accountable or responsible for anything. As a result, Amber has always led her life going by "let somebody else do it". So I don't know where you are coming up with this crap about me being just as bad as Mom. During the two years that the C. Y. S case was open, Amber was graded on her visitations and so was I. I was graded with Gold stars the whole way across the board. Amber... well... she was CONSTANTLY being lectured to and reported as unfit. Hers was SO EXTREME, that the Guardian Ad Litem in a family conference was hollering and yelling at her!! She got her visitations knocked all the way from "Home / Unsupervised", down to "C. Y. S / Supervised". That means the Ad Litem wanted her under C. Y. S Patrol where they could watch her like a hawk during visitations. But in that conference, Amber had her head in her hands crying her eyes out!!! Even after that, she went back to her old ways.

I learned my lesson from my actions with her. I get testy with people on the site because I want to see them learn from the mistake I made with Amber. But to say I'm as bad as Amber just says you don't know the first damn thing about me, as well as the case. I was noted and known as a committed and very loving Father in the eyes of C. Y. S, the Attorneys and the Huntingdon County court. My own attorney court-appointed to me said I was the most committed and motivated Parent he has represented.

[Anonymous]

There is a reason why society sells you sex through the media. There is a reason why on every single teen movie you only see the weak willed boy chasing sex... but you never see the boy chasing excellence, chasing his life purpose, or aspiring to anything beyond his base desires. This is because there are people that want you to be weak, lacking in self control and discipline... because then they can control you, while they rise and craft a better life than you do.

The man that lacks self control and discipline is at the mercy of his sexual and non sexual environment. And those that know not their purpose, shall seek pleasure instead of it.

[exitseven]

I get what you are saying. I tried to steer clear of girls who were not marriage material. I was pretty careless about sex. I hardly ever used a condom. One of the first times I did I had so much trouble putting it on we both laughed our asses off. It was kind of a mood killer.
Fortunately I never got anyone pregnant until after I got married. I was more lucky than smart.

[Andres77]

It's always time to act more responsibly.
I'm fortunate that so many of my mistakes ended up just as close calls.
I know now what I did was foolish. My wife too.
But we've been good for 18 years.
Thankfully.
I'm glad your daughter is better cared for.
That has to be hard.

[Tstrbrainer]

Well just because you need family doesn't mean everyone does.

Just because you care about your life doesn't mean others care about their life.

Just because you screwed up doesn't mean others will.

Just because you tried to take responsibility for your actions (it's a good thing) mean others are like that

[t-8900]

If both parties bare responsible enough to use contraceptives this would have been avoided

[Interstate]

I did use protection, but something happened somewhere along the line.

[NathanDavis]

this is kind of ironic tbh...

[Jamie05rhs]

Do you ever get to see your daughter?

[Interstate]

She lives out in Huntingdon County, PA and I live two hours away from there. The mention of a Post Adoption Contact Agreement was made by my Attorney before the County closed the case in 09/2015, but the Foster Parents never responded to it, and I never was given an invite to see her after the Adoption was finalized.

The Foster family and I send Christmas cards every year, and they always enclose a recent picture of the year in their card.

[Jamie05rhs]

Damn, dude. I'm sorry.

That's good that you're able to see her pictures, though.

[Interstate]

Thank you. People tell me a lot of times that when she gets old enough, she is going to come looking for me.

[Jamie05rhs]

YW.

Yeah; that is probably true. She will need guidance in her life. Just try to continue to be the best person you can be. Because someone she can look up to and be proud of.

[Interstate]

I definitely. She loved my girls, Daisy and Karleigh (Daisy - White Lab/German Shepherd, and Karleigh - was a Lab/Chihuahua). She doesn't know they passed, and I am hesitant about telling her.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Interstate]

Ty. They were my kids. Oh and Karleigh could be Karleigh.

[Interstate]

@Jamie05rhs Sorry, the case was closed in 9/2017, not 2015. The case was opened on St. Patrick's Day in 2015.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, okay.

[Hanmakevi]

Going ghost 👻 ✌️
-Danny Phantom

[msc545]

There is also this thing called "birth control".