Search Results: boyfriend loves my butt

I love my boyfriend is and his body. He is 55 and has a strong muscular hard upper body but he dont work out his legs much. He can bench press 275 but does not do squats. I am noticing, though he still has a nice butt it is a tad looser or not as solid as two years ago. I am 36, my butt has more muscle and is more solid then his. I do squats and other lower body exercises so my legs are stronger too. He says I am more out of proportion then him. I think though my legs are more muscular, stronger then his and my arms could use more size its just genetics. I am toned top and bottom. He is far and miles stronger then I am in arms chest shoulder etc.

I moved up to my boyfriend in New York after we got back together in June this year. Things were going on okay till I started to feel uncomfortable being sexual around him. He started to make me feel bad because I didn't want to and some nights I would wake up to him trying to spread my legs or keep asking me to have sex with him. Here and there I would let him even though I didn't want to. A few times I try to express myself to him and he would cut me off and leave, which led me to have a few anxiety attacks.
On the 11th of September @3 in the morning I made a little joke, "It's early in the morning I'll use my toy tonight you can go back to sleep" and thought he would kid around with me Instead I get this sharp pain on my thigh. Took me a minute to realize he slapped me after he raised his voice at me. I asked him why he hit me and his response was "I didn't hit you I was trying to tap your butt, but missed." Since that night I couldn't sleep, I didn't feel loved or want to be there anymore. I thought he changed after high school.
In our Senior year late January of 2014 he raped me, but said he was just "playing around and didn't mean to do it." This incident led me to depression and bad habits.
So after he hit me (present) I started to get depressed again, having anxiety, and had nobody to talk to. Since I got there I was mostly down in the basement for the two months I stayed there with nothing to do beside watch youtube videos. I made a mistake in sending a guy photos of me (bad habit), yes I do know it's a form of cheating I made a mistake :(. Soon he found out and told his family and friend what I did and made and a lie; for 3 days I was getting mistreated without knowing why until the day I left. Ever since then his whole family been sending me messages. I feel hurt because they never gave me a chance to speak and when I finally said something they call me a cheater, a scum, slut, liar. While he is the Angel and hero in everybody's eyes. What should I do?