Search Results: rules to asking someone out

WHY do men go looking elsewhere when they 'love' their gf?

I met a man who did this. and I let attraction rule. While he was on a 'break' from her. I let him into my world for 3 weeks and THOUGHT I loved him somehow...i didnt, I was just figuring my own needs out..and realising I wanted 'connectivity' with SOMEONE.

but - aside from that, I'm asking why a man who says 'i love her, I'm not IN love with her' wouldn't just work on the relationship? why run away and shag someone else and lust after them like crazy? why?

This is a long story to set the ground rules so bare with my.

My friend was with a guy, they lived together, but it was a love hate relationship with lots of fighting. One day they broke up. Within a week, she was with someone new. The someone new is the ex in question.

He knew from the start it was a rebound, she was honest with him about everything. But it became more serious. She moved in with him into his parents house, they got engaged, they were together for about 2 years. There are problems at home with his parents and eventually, the stress got too much for her. She offered for him to move out with him, but he wasn't ready, and she moved out with a friend and they broke up. That was 5 months ago.

After getting her independence, she 'enjoyed' it. She was going out clubbing, drinking, partying, everything, basically being 20. And there's nothing wrong with that. She started hooking up with more and more men, at one point it was 10 in a week, but always one a week.

She said to me the other day she wanted her ex back, how much she missed him. That she was going to wait outside his work - he wasn't answering texts, Facebook, emails, calls, anything. She pays his phone contract, and he gives the money to her, but he has only once given it directly to her. If nothing more, she wanted the uncomfortableness to go. I said it wasn't fair to bombard him at work, I would go speak to him - we still talk.

So I did. And I gave him a letter from her, the agreement being if he didn't want to see her, he would take the note.

I relayed all of his feelings of wanting to be alone, and he would contact her when ready and she cried, asking me why he didn't love her.

I told her to go to her flatmate and cry it out and do as he asked.

Of course, she did not do this. Instead, the next day she bought him a teddy bear which said "I followed my heart and it led me to you" on and left it in his car.

He told me he cried and came incredibly close to ringing her to ask her back. He put a status up saying "please, give up..." and I texted her asking what she'd done. She asked why, I repeated the status with the reply of "hahaha...". With no reply, I asked the ex. The ex told me what happened, and said she had just texted him saying "I found someone else" and was texting me saying she was going to slash his tyres...

So my question is what the hell do I do? If I tell her the ex's feelings, she'll go crazy again, but at the moment she's consumed with anger that I'm scared she'll do something.

My partner told me to say nothing because the ex has been through enough without inviting her unstableness back into his life, what's your view?