Search Results: when to discuss marriage

“A prenuptial agreement is an agreement entered before marriage,” says New York City divorce lawyer Jacqueline Newman. “Generally, what prenups will cover are the two big D’s in life: divorce and debt.
“Depending on how much you want to put into the agreement, it has the capacity to dictate how assets are going to get distributed upon divorce, how spousal support — or alimony — is going to be distributed, and it also will deal with the state rights.”

A general rule of thumb is that “if you have a few hundred thousand dollars [in assets], you should at least consider a prenup,” says Holeman. “But in my experience working with clients, the big cause for actually needing a prenup isn’t necessarily on the dollar amount.”

Rather, “it’s when there are unequal amounts coming in from the marriage.”

In other words, if one member of the couple has a much higher income or significantly more assets than the other, it’s worth considering a prenup. “When one person has way more than the other, that’s where it gets a little dicey,” says Holeman.

If you’re both bringing in roughly equal amounts to the marriage, a prenup is “less needed, because it’s more of an equal playing field between both spouses,” says Holeman. Though, of course, he adds, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss getting one.

For example:
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and his wife of 25 years, MacKenzie, announced in a tweet Wednesday that they are divorcing. The news started an ongoing conversation about the usefulness of a prenuptial agreement, since, TMZ reports, the couple did not have one. Now she's worth billions lol.

My friend is pregnant by a guy she's known for 7 years, but has been with for 8-9 months.

Backstory: She was engaged to a different guy last March 2018. Her ex-fiance was with her for 8 1/2 years before they finally got engaged. Then he left her in October 2018. A week later, she was with new guy who is now baby daddy. Neither of them have other kids. I believe she's 2-3 months along.

I always believed in waiting until marriage to have kids. I don't necessarily think that will make a marriage last, but as a teacher, I see a lot of students have kids when they aren't ready, or I know parents who have kids (my students) with someone they thought they loved but several years later find out they actually hate them with a fire red regardless of age. It's great fun being in the middle of that and hear parents trash each other [sarcasm]. I teach 7th/8th graders.

I'm not necessarily jumping at the chance to have kids so I kept my opinion of her pregnancy to myself. But I think it's a topic that's not really discussed a lot in relationships so I decided to ask it here.

How long should you be with someone before having a child with them?