Search Results: older brother issues

My boyfriend and I (both latinos) come from a background where we were hit too hard with a household object and both of us think that was too much.

My father would use a belt on me during my very early ages. Practically all the times it was used, he did it in frustration/anger and tend to overdo it to the point I was already crying and pleading for it to stop. He did the same to my younger brother. Long ago when my brother was only 2 years old and nearly dropped a teapot with boiling water, he left a couple bruises on his bottom and the back of one side of his leg was swollen with the belt and he only stopped when he accidently hit one side of his face with it (it happened when my brother was turning around to run).

In my bf's case, it was his mother that used to hit him with a stick or strap. It was pretty much done out of frustration/anger too.

This resulted in my complete hatred towards the usage of corporal punishment on a child, esp if it were my own kid; the person I'm suppose to love, protect, cherish, guide and teacher. My boyfriend only thinks spanking should be done with only the hands but never hard nor ever done in anger. Though his approach is a mild version in comparing to our backgrounds, I still have an issue spanking kids, even with the hands. I also don't agree with his stance that if you don't spank your child they'll grow up criminals.
Now back to my question, shouldn't spanking/hitting a child with a belt, sandals, sticks or any object be classified immediately as assault and child abuse? I definitely think so.

This isn't really a question, i just need to vent and ugh sorry. When i was in middleschool i wad being bullied by my so called friends at the time (there were only 18 girls in whole of 6th grade and only 7 girls in my class) 3 of those girls in my class were popular and i was friends with them, the other girls left were mostly “nerds”. One of those nerdy girls (the nerdiest of all) started talking to me she was awkward but had the sam sense of humor as me. We quickly started hanging out but my popular self got embarrassed by her. Those popular girls started bullying me ( it turned out to be jealousy) my brother is also an alcoholic and drug addict so my 11/12 year old self was going through a lot of shit. So this nerdy friend never washed her hair and she always wore the weirdest combos of outfits. I always acted like i was wiser and everything i said to her was correct. So naturally i had watched clueless so i wanted to give her an amazing glamorous makeover... thats were i went wrong. My insecure little ass, called her a nerd and said she was to awkward, so i would try to teach her to be less awkward, i went through her closet and helped her pick cute outfits. We created this things called journey to prettiness. I was trying to help, but i feel like this will always haunt her. I made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. I have apologized many times for this she has always accepted and apologized back for some weird shit she also did. This still haunts me, i have since become a better person and my personal issues are solved. I just don’t know if i can ever forgive myself for this. What are you’re guys’s opinions. Does this forever make me a bad person?

So I started dating my now ex boyfriend last December. I was invited over for Christmas & he also came to both of my families Christmas' as well. Things were great or so I thought. We took couples photos with his parents & his brothers & their ladies. He introduced me to nearly all of his friends within the month as well. Only about a month ago I met one if his best friends too. I once caught him sending an old interest of his inappropriate messages but we quickly got over that. And then a month after that he broke up with me, stating we both had issues to work out (example financially & such) I don't understand why he went to the lengths of announcing to his whole crew he loves the most that I'm his lady only to get rid of me a few months later. He at first didn't want an open relationship or to share me but the suddenly he was ok with it. Until I went to a movie with one of his friends AFTER we broke up. He was furious & it almost ended their friendship. Why? And then he decided after the breakup that he wanted us to be friends with benefits. And he still KISSED & HUGGED me every day. And called me babe & baby too. He had previously told me he saw a future for us but if I ever mentioned a future, he got freaked out. Please explain this someone if you can. Because I am trying my hardest to move on but I don't think I'll be able to without some kind of clarity.