Shutting Down Body Shaming.

Body Shaming, is a corrosive trend that has become one of the most damaging forces in today’s world. It Needs To Stop.

Shutting Down Body Shaming.

Last week, I saw my friend of 5 years. She has a brother who is 10 years younger to her. He is so cute, but she just doesn't like him.

"Personal Reasons." That's what she says whenever I ask her about her dislike towards her brother. She has been horribly rude to him.

When I saw her the other day, she was with her brother and they were at a mall buying clothes, for what I reckon as a wedding preparation of her cousin. The brother went to the change room and came back saying, "This doesn't fit me." Her immediate response was, "You need to lose some weight. You're horribly fat and ugly. And since you're fat, you won't even get a girl ever in the future. Fat people like you don't even deserve to live with us in this world. Unhealthy brat."

I was shocked beyond any expression. And at the same time, livid. I told her how horrible and inappropriate is was of her to be fat-shaming her own brother. He's 9 years old for God's sake. Her only response was "He is my brother, not yours so stay out of it. Also, he's unhealthy so as a sister, I need to tell him that." It was so heart-wrenching to see him break down and cry over the awful things his sister had said.

I'm gonna be frank here, for almost an eternity, body shaming was equal to fat shaming, for me. I'm overweight myself and it almost felt as if the only people being body-shamed were the overweight ones. But, no. There are people who are skinny-shamed. I learnt that when the same friend looked at the picture of Gigi Hadid and said, " She's so thin. She definitely doesn't eat anything. It's so unhealthy and horrible. Who knows, she might as well be sick. She anyway doesn't look like a healthy model. These people will do anything to make money!"

So, I thought I'd share my opinions on body shaming which isn't equal to fat shaming.

Shutting Down Body Shaming.

These days, people do not seem to find anything wrong in making fun of someone else’s body.

We live in a society that is obsessed with everything. Fat is bad, dark is ugly, thin is sick, scars are horrible. These "Too much" and "Not Enough" and "Wish I had" attitudes are something that we cultivate about our bodies each and every day. Most of us are potential victims of "body shaming" especially via social media.

I've had someone comment on a person's picture here, saying she was too fat and how the "tires" on her stomach needs to be replaced by a flat like sheet stomach. And when I condemned him for this, all he said was, "It's the truth. I'm expressing my opinions and that's what the site is all about, she needs to hear the truth."

When we fail to meet the supposed beauty standards, it takes a toll on our perception of our self and make us love ourselves less.

Most of us, today do not see anything wrong in “expressing their opinions,” regardless of the fact that these very opinions can actually hurt someone. Those who clearly intend to hurt, will never stop targeting the body image with unsavory comments.

If someone is unhealthy, tell them how to change that, show them how they can become fit, and encourage them to take that road, rather than just criticizing them, or even making fun of them. Discrimination, singling out, and shaming only causes stress and makes any person feel bad. If someone is already overweight, this stress can actually make them eat more and more, and consequently, gain even more weight.

Shutting Down Body Shaming.

So, what is this idea of a “perfect body”?

It is unrealistic, to say the least. Yes, society and social media have contributed in creating this myth of the “perfect body” as epitomized by that hunk who has a six-pack abs, or the woman with the ‘enviable’ size-zero figure. But the real question to ask is, are these ‘role models’ for perfect physiques actually ‘fit’ in the true sense of the term?

What do I do?!!!

Next time when someone condemns your looks, or mocks you, don’t just withdraw into a shell. Speak out against it. Express what is going on inside your mind. Stand up against bullying. Remember, your motive isn’t to humiliate them, but to make them aware of the negativity of their attitude and the implications of their ‘shaming’ on those affected.

Shutting Down Body Shaming.

Body shaming is an deplorable practice that must be avoided at all costs. No one is perfect, and if we remember our own imperfections, we will learn motivate, support, and encourage each other. Body shaming is an issue that will not be solved unless everyone learns to accept their own bodies, and until the myth of the ‘perfect body’ ceases to be.

Stay Loved People.

And Love Yourself!

All love,

Angelina25 <3


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Most Helpful Guys

  • That's a great take. Be revolutionary, love instead of hate. Love the way you look and love yourself. Then you can freely question those that come at you with hatred.

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  • You always have the best articles posted and well written dear Angelina!
    Thank you very much for this beautiful post!
    "Another strike for Angelina" :-)

    Being overweight is not healthy, but you are totally right, it is never the good way to bully somebody, it will make it worse, I have been there, I was a fat little boy when I was still a child.
    Growing up was not easy, but enrolling myself into sports activities I used to like, it made a difference with my body and instantly as well.
    My mother started cooking more healthy food and it helped.
    Most school mates used to bully me, but few friends did not, and those friends liked me the way I was. Nevertheless, they supported me and whenever I wanted a fast food meal like a fat burger, I used to have it, but I used to run a lot, bicycle, soccer, basketball, etc... a lot so I needed a bit of fat from time to time.

    People are becoming "Body Shaming" not only because of society, but because of celebrities I may add, and adult industries celebrities as well if I may add to your beautiful post. We see celebrities in movies with the what so called "Perfect bodies" while they are living through hell to look like that otherwise they will not get a part in a movie and forget about their careers.

    If people like that, then they can live their lives without eating, training from dusk till dawn, and only worrying about their perfect bodies.

    I used to go to the gym for body building exercise, and at some point I got bored and stopped. I dropped many pounds losing the muscles.
    I have an average body myself, no 6 packs, not a flat tummy, I weight 78/79 kg and am 1.82 cm tall.

    To have the 100% healthy body, I need to lose about 5 kg I guess, from expert point of view, but they told me I don't really need to.

    People "Body Shaming" are psychologically "Obsessed" with the image that TV and Media sends. They need help to understand they only have to be healthy.

    If they like their body the way it is, and having healthy meals, nothing is wrong either.

    Making fun of another person because they are fat is just disrespectful to themselves. I never let them get away with it, I always give the change back when somebody body shames in front of me. Mostly all of them will turn into obese, not only overweight, after they get married. I have seen them.

    The best way to help somebody who needs to have a healthier body, is to share some physical activity with them as for it is fun and helps losing weight (basketball, bicycle, skate...)

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    • Exactly!
      And thank you :)

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    • I guess so dear Angelina :-)

    • Thank you sweet Angelina for MHO <3
      Still waiting for your next hit by the way! ;-)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Look at all these cynical comments. That's what's wrong with our society. You may or may not like a certain body type, and that's totally fine. However, you should keep your opinion to yourself, you have no right to tell other people to change to be aesthetically pleasing to your eyes. Date/not date anyone you want but leave people (you don't like) alone

    Also believe the poster meant that people have different preferences and that all bodies are attractive to someone's eyes
    Of course very overweight people are unlikely to have many likes. but some guys may like chubby/bigger women (I'm not saying overweight)

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  • Giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl, bye. Stay out of it? No heifer. The second you start degrading someone in public, especially a child, you will get your ass handed to you on a silver platter.

    Sorry. I may be awkward around little kids his age, but still, there's a point where you just exercise human decency. Your 'friend' doesn't even sound like a human. She sounds a little slow. A lot of boys grow into their weight. I should know, I teach middle and high school. I've had a lot of overweight boys hit a growth spurt and came back the same weight but 7 or 8 inches taller over the summer. Your friend sucks.

    But, beyond that, I partially disagree with this article. I don't believe in body 'shaming' but I do believe we can't keep telling people they're healthy and look fine when they don't. I myself am trying to lose 30 pounds (not a lot in the grand scheme) but my friends keep telling me I'm fine and look healthy.

    Okay, well, I don't. You don't have to be rude when I point I want to lose weight but telling me I don't need to isn't supportive and damaging. A lot of people then don't take care of themselves because they are surrounded by enablers.

    So body shaming is uncalled for but at the same time, don't lie and tell a person they're fine if they aren't.

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    • Yeah definitely.
      But at the same time, one doesn't have to literally criticize the person and shame him...

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What Guys Said 41

  • On the one hand, the way she handled it with her brother was very rude and uncalled for.

    But on the other hand, it had to be brought up to remind him to be more healthy and lose weight. Just not in such a hostile way like she did it.

    Also, all bodies can not be beautiful- that's an oxymoron. Beauty is something that stands out, it's one of a kind. It can not be ascribed to literally every instance of a certain aspect. Not all dressed are beautiful, some will always not look good on you. Not all cars are aesthetic, some will look poorly on the road.

    Not all bodies are beautiful. In order for something to be beautiful, there has to be something ugly.

    If everyone's beautiful then quite simply no one is.

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  • This article was fantastic! It was a shame what happened to your friends brother!

    I feel like there are some things interesting note.

    Guys play with each other and tell them they are fat. Now there is a very fine line with it. The important part with that is that they still encourage him and second the person takes it as a joke and not seriously.

    Second, I think it is good to courage people toward healthy practices with their body. I think I showed you mine. I admit I really want to shed a few pounds. I think there is nothing wrong with encouraging someone in a positive way to try to be a little more healthy as long as they don't bash it into your head or make you annoyed with it. It should be taken a friendly. My friend just called me out on the phone last night with it. and he was brief and light about it.

    I totally agree we need to stop the bullying! and people should be happy with their body in any shape that it is. and this is where I think part of the biggest issue is. Body shape is such a hard thing for girls. Some girls love their body shape and others are pretty unhappy with it. It would be a great thing for girls to embrace who they are and own the body type they were grown with. other things in being flat chested or having a flat butt. It really takes a toll on them. and I think they just have to focus on what they do have and love the body they are in. and besides who you are is not all about your body. Your energy, confidence and personality make up who you are. I always believe it's what on the side that counts

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  • Bullllllllllshyte. This is far left American liberal propaganda. Not all bodies are beautiful. Fat is unhealthy and I’m gunna say it till the day I die. I won’t be censored by anybody, never mind a snowflake

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    • I'm not sure what your ideas of beauty are. But regardless of that, there's a way to get things across a person. What do you think? Shaming a person will do good?

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    • You're way smarter than him, more in control and a better person... and that makes me very happy. :)

    • @unicornsnrainbows
      Thank you very much. :)

  • Angelina25, your logic eat's it's self. If you are fat, stop eating. First of all NOT ONE DOCTOR IN THE WORLD WILL SAY THAT BEING FAT IS HEALTHY!
    Sitting on the couch eating and eating and not have to worry about what people call you. Well you should be. Exercise eat less same goes for those tooth pick skin and bone women. Eat more exercise less!

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    • Well, I Haven once mentioned that being fat is healthy. All I've said is that if you're concerned about other's well being, there's a way to communicate that. No good is ever done by shaming.

  • I have mixed feelings about this as I am one of the strongest supporters of free speech and more importantly, telling the truth.

    1: Not all bodies are beautiful. That's nonsense. https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-yoLf872ANQ/hqdefault.jpg
    thumbs.dreamstime.com/.../...-fat-man-25234855.jpg

    2: As long as you are relatively healthy, I don't think your size matters as some of us have naturally different body shapes and the way fat distributes in our bodies.

    3: I should be able to say that someone needs to gain some meat if they are too skinny or loose fat if they are too big. How are they going to lose weight? I'm pretty sure we all know how to lose weight. If you don't, go on the internet or visit a nutritionist.

    4: Most people have decent or normal body shapes that aren't really harming them but they feel they need to look a certain way. This is what I hate, perfectly fine people are critical of themselves when they don't need to be. And other people shaming on others who don't fit that same narrative even though they don't need to either lose or gain weight. Most people don't need to lose or gain weight/fat.
    I need to lose belly fat because it sticks out while the rest of me is pretty muscular. But it runs in the family for my gut to poke out. And that sucks. But I do the best I can to feel good about myself. Even when others tell me I look fine.

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  • Bullshit. Not all bodies are beautiful. Someone looking like a skeleton or the Michelin man isn't beautiful.
    And making him think that, it's allowing him to accept something hideous and unhealthy as acceptable, which is not.

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    • I'm not sure what your ideas of beauty are. But regardless of that, there's a way to get things across a person. What do you think? Shaming a person will do good?

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    • Don't let the assholes ever bring you down Angelina.

    • @unicornsnrainbows
      Will not. Thank you. :)

  • Giving a sh1t about body shaming is a bad trend, it needs to be stopped. You're the only person who should take care of your body, regardless what the others say.

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  • It cannot be stopped; when there are standards, there are people who don’t fit them. So, people will be shamed and be a disappointment

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    • It definitely isn't stopping any time soon, but we have to try as a society, isn't it?

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    • That’s not the same; it’s a false equivalency to shaming a person’s body

  • Wow this is one of the most nonsensical garbage I've ever read.
    1 Everyone can't be beautiful.
    2 Weight is an indicator of self control, and health. if someone can't even manage their own faculties how can they be trusted to do anything.

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    • 3. self love is built from the inside out, if you have a problem with the way you look you must build the internal fortitude to address the issue. coddling fat people isn't gonna save them from heart diseas, diabetes etc...

    • And you take it upon yourself to save them from all diseases? You are our saviour, aren't you?
      And yeah thanks for your feedback.

  • I am against open body shaming but im also a free man so im free to say (in a polite manner but also not being afraid) that i dont like a certain body for reasons i think stand. We are way past body shaming and actually HATE everyone that expresses the slightest negative opinion about a body. Im sorry but not all bodies are veautiful.

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  • Against body shaming but equally against fat acceptance.
    Your friend needs to know how to convey a message politely, otherwise she's the one who's never gonna get a guy. Of course there are jerks to "use" her. Better learn to respect others.

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  • Overweight people cost us money, a lot of money.
    A fat person is pretty much stealing my money.
    The moment we stop offering health care to the overweight, smokers, alcoholics and substance abusers, will be the moment I will stop treating them with contempt. (for the most part)

    As it is, these kinds of people are actively treating us poorly, and I see nothing wrong on treating them poorly in return.

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    • People have problems out there. Some need legit help. Others take it for granted. I've seen plenty of drug addicts just get free money and contributing nothing to society or their families.

  • not all bodies are beautiful, in fact most of our bodies in this modern age are in a state of utter disrepair and neglect as we tend only to superficial bullshit while letting underlying rot grow worse every day.

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  • You know what we need to shut down? Those cruel, hateful, inhuman people that tell overweight people they are fine and don't need to lose weight.

    In the USA alone, obesity is costing us over 147 billion dollars a year.
    stateofobesity.org/healthcare-costs-obesity/

    If you tell a fat person they're fine and they shouldn't lose weight, you must truly hate them and want to see them in pain and suffering diseases.

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  • Yeah, it's disgraceful, and it happens to people of all body types. People should stick up for others that get subjected to body shaming.

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  • No, not all bodies are beautiful. There's nothing wrong with disliking fat people's body shape. It's their choice - eat better, and less, move more. It's not that difficult.

    Love can't start 'till attraction does. And then there needs to be a conversation. Develop your social skills, and make yourself as attractive as possible.

    You're not going to fix the shaming - it hasn't changed since the beginning of mankind. Just quit fussing about it.

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    • You can dislike or like anyone you want, however keep your opinion to yourself

  • The only women who believe in this "body positivity" bullshit are the ones with disgusting bodies. Coincidence?

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    • The only people who don't believe in body positivity are the ones with disgusting and ridiculous mentality. Coincidence?

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    • Alright, Goodnight.

  • Fuck your hypocritical bullshit.
    Women shame EVERY man shorter than 6'5"

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  • i feel like we should condone the shaming of morbid body types. cause if we are just ok with everything, that's not healthy and will lead to more problems in the long run.

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  • The first step is not giving a fuck what random strangers think of you, lol.

    idgaf what anyone thinks of my body.

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What Girls Said 11

  • what a bitch. how dare she tell, her own brother of all people, that he does not deserve to live? Who the fuck is she? Is she God? does she have the right to tell someone they can't live because of the way they look? You know what, I've been bullied and teased so much to the point that I just don't give a fuck anymore. I don't care what anyone says. I lost weight for myself and my own health. now they're complaining about me needing to lose those "last ten pounds." like fuck off. I don't need to please you. I will live my life the way I want. I don't need to be a stick to be "worthy" in your eyes. I don't think obesity is healthy, and I do not encourage it. but I am healthy, I have normal blood pressure, a strong heart, no health issues, perfect vision, teeth, in fact, I was told that I am healthier than most "fit" patients. just because someone looks "fit" does not automatically translate to healthier and worthier. her brother needs to lose weight, but I would go about a more sensible way of giving him the message than the way his sister took. for one, I would cut back on the junk in the house, and make sure our parents provide him with healthier meals. This is mostly the parents' fault. if there are no chips or chocolate around, and only lettuce and carrots, what do you think that child will eat?

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  • all the body acceptance adds have fat chubby skinny people with ice faces and usually light skinned.

    nothing about people missing limbs or scars from fire or acid or vein problems.. things you =really have no control over. being thin or fart are still controllable -for most people.

    its ironic that body acceptance is directed at fluid problems.

    things that really are socially challenging and can not be changed -without 100,000s 4 are mostly untouched.

    i think aiming for health and accepting what you get along the way and as a result is a logical enough goal. but its a long shot. people are too obsessed with loos in capitalist society bc bodies are commodities and they sell and can be sold to. its really money and not love that makes certain worlds go round. and those worlds dominate the market and control wars. and have the threat of world war at their finger tips.

    this is the current world. it will take more than individually thinking' i am trying to be the best me i can, as a result I accept my body' --but there is certainly no reason not to strive for that. I approve.

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    • so sorry for all of the typos! oh it looks horrible , what was I doing what was so important i could not revise lol

  • Did you actually hear her say that or is that just what you interpreted into it because she use the word fat? Because this doesn't sound like someone who doesn't find fat people attractive or healthy would say. I would know, I'm one of them.

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  • Body shaming is wrong. There's other ways so instead of an overwhelmingly negative approach to the issue, which would seem to do more harm than good, encouraging lifestyle change on the basis that it is better to be healthy than unhealthy but let's be real nobody needs you to tell them that they are fat like they already know it and also who are you to say what is perfect as well like perfect doesn't exist.

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  • omg that's so awful to say to a 9 year old!! you should tell her parents or something, or get urs to, she probably learnt it from someone though, but thats still awful!

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    • Ikr! She just isn't talking to me! I mean, the moment I try initiating a conversation with her, she is like, "Bye. I need to go."
      She is still mad. Idek what my fault is.
      I told her mom a year back, (she was being the usual I-Hate-My-Brother type) and I think her mom must have told her something about it.
      But the after effects didn't last long, a week and then she was back to her own self

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    • Ikr!
      I told her that she is right about health and all but there's a way to say it. But she just won't buy it.
      I've given up actually. I'd rather not interact with toxic people.

    • yeah, that's too mean! at least she might think about it a bit now

  • another great take :) I totally agree. I've been body shamed a few times in life by people accusing me of being anorexic just because I'm skinny. I eat a lot its just that I have the metabolism of a furnace, but that part they don't know. usually its the bigger women that do that to me and are like "girl you look like you're sick you need to get help" but don't listen if I say otherwise. however either way I don't really care much about what others think of me, because its all opinions

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  • What a horrible girl! You’re right body shaming is not cool.

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  • Healthy is beautiful. Unhealthy isn’t. Regardless, shaming isn’t the proper or decent way to motivate a person to become healthy.

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  • I love my body and I think I'm beautiful but I think it's important to be healthy and take care of yourself. I find however, that it is considered cocky to like yourself. I have a friend who will body shame herself and then expect me to make a negative comment about myself. I've come to the point where when she says she's fat I often won't comment. It seems like an attention grab. She just wants compliments. I will tell her I'm happy with my body and she just gets awkward. I don't brag about my body but saying that I like my body is 'backward.' I find it exhausting to listen to people complain about their bodies; fix it and shut up or learn to be happy. Don't make me listen to you whine that you're fat and then eat whatever you want and be too lazy to go to the gym. It's annoying.

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  • Nice take

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  • Confident not cocky

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